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Just for laughs...corner
Tebes
#1501 Posted : Wednesday, December 19, 2012 1:26:58 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/26/2008
Posts: 2,097
How Kikuyus introduce their wives!!!

Niwakiona haria ciana cia rutire urimo. [You can now see where the kids got their stupidity]

Niurakimeona *pointing with the car key* [You can see her * pointing with the car key]

Uyu niwe thanduraga ta mbembe.

Ni wakiona indo ciakwa. [Can you now see my stuff]

Niwakiona people ya me.

Niwakiona kiria gitumaga nyinuke tene? [This is the reason I go home early]

Uyu niwe nyina wa adu. [This is the mother of my kids]

Keki iyo wa miona atia? [How have you seen that cake]

Uyu niwe mwene indo!

Ino niyo MOMO yakwa [This is my 'momo']

uyu niwe njata yakwa [This is my star]

Niwakiona mathina makwa. [Can you now see the root to all my problems]

Uyo niwe ajekaga gal a bubble

Gìkì nì kìo gìtheremende kìa ngoro yakwa.

Ucio ni we uthokagia hethabu ciakwa... [This is the one who has been spoiling my mathematics]

Niwakiona [You can now see]

Mutiakiona haria handaga muti [That is where I plant the tree]

Uyu niwe utumaga juke wira dimunogu [She is the reason I always come to work tired]

Niwe wanjiguire tha. [She is the only one who felt pity on me]

Nìwakiona thirikari [Here is the government]
"Never regret, if its good, its wonderful. If its bad, its experience."
Mukiri
#1502 Posted : Wednesday, December 19, 2012 2:33:55 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/11/2012
Posts: 5,222
Tebes wrote:

Nìwakiona thirikari [Here is the government]


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

Proverbs 19:21
ChessMaster
#1503 Posted : Thursday, December 20, 2012 1:21:25 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/23/2009
Posts: 1,626
Uncertainty is certain.Let go
McReggae
#1504 Posted : Friday, January 11, 2013 11:23:55 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/17/2008
Posts: 23,365
Location: Nairobi
Americans Prefer Cockroaches, Traffic Jams and Nickelback To Congress


As the nation braces itself to hit the debt limit as early as February 15, Congress is as gridlocked as ever. Republican lawmakers are now suggesting they will resist raising the debt ceiling, risking a government shutdown and a default on U.S. credit. The last fight over the debt ceiling in August 2011 led to an unprecedented downgrade of U.S. credit and billions of wasted taxpayer dollars.
Americans were paying attention during 2011′s fight, and their approval rating of Congress plunged to an all-time low soon after the credit downgrade. A record 82 percent of respondents said at the time they disapproved of the job Congress was doing. Now, on the verge of another debt ceiling crisis, that number has risen to 85 percent.
Public Policy Polling decided to figure out just how much Americans hate Congress by asking respondents to compare their feelings about their lawmakers to a list of other unpopular things. The results were not pretty:
Lice: 67% Congress: 19% approval
Brussel Sprouts: 69% Congress: 23%
Replacement refs: 56% Congress: 29%
Colonoscopies: 58% Congress: 31%
Root canals: 56% Congress: 32%
Traffic jams: 56% Congress: 34%
Used car salesmen: 57% Congress: 32%
Carnies: 39% Congress: 31%
France: 46% Congress: 37%
Nickelback: 39% Congress: 32%
Genghis Khan: 41% Congress: 37%
Political pundits: 37% Congress: 34%
Donald Trump: 44% Congress: 42%
Cockroaches: 45% Congress: 43%

Congress did beat out North Korea, Lindsay Lohan, the Ebola virus, gonorrhea and the Kardashians.
..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
marex
#1505 Posted : Monday, January 14, 2013 5:03:16 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 10/4/2007
Posts: 656
Yaani Politics ziko kila mahali mpaka watoto wa shule za kiambu have refused to answer to vitendawilis
The way I am
marex
#1506 Posted : Monday, January 14, 2013 5:05:03 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 10/4/2007
Posts: 656
Horbit is not just a movie. In Ukambani, it is also a chewing gum
The way I am
marex
#1507 Posted : Monday, January 14, 2013 6:33:54 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 10/4/2007
Posts: 656
A guy asked a girl in a library, "Do you mind if I sit
beside you?"
The girl answered with a loud voice, "I DON'T
WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!!!"
All the students in the library started staring at the
guy, and he was embarrassed.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to
the guy's table and she told him,
"I study psychology, and I know what a man is
thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right?"
The guy responded with a loud voice, "$200 JUST
FOR ONE NIGHT!? THAT'S TOO MUCH!!!"
And all the people in the library looked at the girl
in shock, and the guy whispered in her ear,
"I study law, and I know how to make someone feel
guilty."
The way I am
ZZE123
#1508 Posted : Monday, January 14, 2013 6:44:52 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/21/2008
Posts: 2,490
marex wrote:
Yaani Politics ziko kila mahali mpaka watoto wa shule za kiambu have refused to answer to vitendawilis

OUCH!!!! Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
The man who marries a beautiful woman, and the farmer who grows corn by the roadside have the same problem
masukuma
#1509 Posted : Wednesday, January 16, 2013 2:41:44 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/4/2006
Posts: 13,821
Location: Nairobi
A wife asks her husband, a computer programmer; "Could you please go to the store for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!"

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."
All Mushrooms are edible! Some Mushroom are only edible ONCE!
wilyum
#1510 Posted : Wednesday, January 16, 2013 2:51:47 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 12/21/2011
Posts: 1,010
Quote:
A wife asks her husband, a computer programmer; "Could you please go to the store for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!"

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."


smile smile smile

a=milk
b=eggs

get(a);
if b==true then
a=6;
brav
#1511 Posted : Wednesday, January 16, 2013 3:33:15 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 11/26/2008
Posts: 745
Quote:
A wife asks her husband, a computer programmer; "Could you please go to the store for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!"

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."


Laughing out loudly Applause Applause Applause
harrydre
#1512 Posted : Wednesday, January 23, 2013 4:31:14 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/10/2008
Posts: 9,131
Location: Kanjo
woe unto him if he sets foot in kisum LOL

i.am.back!!!!
xyzee
#1513 Posted : Wednesday, January 23, 2013 7:16:46 AM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 1/9/2009
Posts: 1,262
harrydre wrote:
woe unto him if he sets foot in kisum LOL



He was nominated for which seat?
harrydre
#1514 Posted : Wednesday, January 23, 2013 6:51:44 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/10/2008
Posts: 9,131
Location: Kanjo
xyzee wrote:
harrydre wrote:
woe unto him if he sets foot in kisum LOL



He was nominated for which seat?


kanjura direct nomination kiamumbi gatundu north Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
i.am.back!!!!
youcan'tstopusnow
#1515 Posted : Thursday, January 24, 2013 12:21:28 AM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 3/24/2010
Posts: 6,779
Location: Black Africa
brav wrote:
Quote:
A wife asks her husband, a computer programmer; "Could you please go to the store for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!"

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."


Laughing out loudly Applause Applause Applause

Laughing out loudlyLaughing out loudlyLaughing out loudly

marex wrote:
Horbit is not just a movie. In Ukambani, it is also a chewing gum

Laughing out loudlyLaughing out loudlyLaughing out loudlyLaughing out loudlyLaughing out loudly

marex wrote:
Yaani Politics ziko kila mahali mpaka watoto wa shule za kiambu have refused to answer to vitendawilis

Hehee!
GOD BLESS YOUR LIFE
brav
#1516 Posted : Thursday, January 24, 2013 11:53:45 AM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 11/26/2008
Posts: 745
Quote:


a=milk
b=eggs

get(a);
if b==true then
a=6;


Reminds me of programming class

milk=0; //return integer
eggs=false; //return true or false

if get(eggs)=true then
milk=1;
else
milk=6;



MADE
#1517 Posted : Thursday, January 24, 2013 12:20:00 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 11/12/2007
Posts: 391
Waititu released the following statement after winning,
"eeeh,am veli happy to chida ticket ino. Mbalu was strong opponet rakini mimi ni baba yao,nikamchida, nashukulu watu wa Eastrado kwa foting for me, lace ni ngumu lakini ata huyo Kidelo tutamchida kwa main erection "thegiu"
Age is transforming me into an Elder;becoz Admin hasn't made me one.
brav
#1518 Posted : Thursday, January 24, 2013 1:28:41 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 11/26/2008
Posts: 745
@Made
Quote:
Waititu released the following statement after winning,
"eeeh,am veli happy to chida ticket ino. Mbalu was strong opponet rakini mimi ni baba yao,nikamchida, nashukulu watu wa Eastrado kwa foting for me, lace ni ngumu lakini ata huyo Kidelo tutamchida kwa main erection "thegiu"


^^^^ wapi link?
quicksand
#1519 Posted : Thursday, January 24, 2013 1:43:15 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 7/5/2010
Posts: 2,061
Location: Nairobi
brav wrote:
@Made
Quote:
Waititu released the following statement after winning,
"eeeh,am veli happy to chida ticket ino. Mbalu was strong opponet rakini mimi ni baba yao,nikamchida, nashukulu watu wa Eastrado kwa foting for me, lace ni ngumu lakini ata huyo Kidelo tutamchida kwa main erection "thegiu"


^^^^ wapi link?


Weeee ....huoni hii iko kwa Just For Laughs?
chemos
#1520 Posted : Thursday, January 24, 2013 2:17:49 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/28/2006
Posts: 1,799
A dog asks a cat: Why do u always hide when having sex ????????
Cat replies: You want people to steal my styles like they stole yours?, NEVER!!!!
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