an employee's leave application with murdered english:

As my mum-in law has expired and since Iam the only one responsible for it, please grant me one weak leave

The real meaning of MPH

http://www.youtube.com/w...bedded&v=Qhm7-LEBznk

[quote=YesuWangu]The real meaning of MPH

http://www.youtube.com/w...edded&v=Qhm7-LEBznk[/quote]
Of all the cracking jokes here, I have laughed to this one so badly... I'm going to try the "meaning" with my wife.

BUSINESS CONCEPTS: 1.You buy your girlfriend a phone and another guy buys her airtime, that is division of labour
2.You buy her a thong and another guy removes it. That's separation of power.
3.You pay her school fees another guy pays her house rent. That is a corporate merger.
4.She tells you she is not ready for sex and your best friend sleeps with her regularly without your knowledge, that is insider trading

That's true maka.

c&p
One time three very bad people felt guilty for the different crimes they committed and went to a church to ask god forgiveness. There, they found a priest.

So all three of them went to the priest. The first crook said "Oh, Father! I have killed an innocent man and now I am feeling very guilty! Please ask god to forgive me!" The priest murmured a blessing and told the crook "God has forgiven you my son, and now go and drink the water from the well of purity". The Father pointed toward a fountain with sparkling water. The first crook went and drank the water. "The water tastes weird" he said and went away.

The second crook came to the priest and said "Oh, Father! I have stolen alot of money from many people and now I am feeling very guilty! Please ask god to forgive me!" The priest murmured a blessing and said "God has forgiven you my son, and now go and drink the water from the well of purity". So the second crook went and drank the sparkling water in the fountain. "This water tastes funny", he said and went away.

Now only the third crook remained. "What is it that you did wrong, my son?" the priest asked. With an uneasy look the last crook said,"I peed in the well".
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IN A HOTEL MENU IN BUNGOMA

Tonut na maantasi 5.00 /=
Homelet Plain 4.50/=

Jai na zgonji 5.00/=
Tenku na ukali 6.00/=

Jabati Pantika 6.40/=

jabati na karanka 15.00/=

Gugu ya ingo 50.00/=
Gugu ya genjik 25.00/=

Mgade Poflo 6.50/=

mapawa ya ingokho(chumusha)10.00 pop

mapawa ya ingokho( choma) 15.00 pop

Zdrungi kafu 1.50/=

Matonto na Mihoko 30.00/=

Zamagi ntoko 23.00/=

Enchoy your meals

bay at te counder