A Kikuyu gentleman visited a 5-star hotel in Paris.

As he sat enjoying his juice, a sexy French chick came to his table, asked him something in French, which he wasn't able to understand.

He invited her to sit down, took a napkin and drew a picture of a juice (🍹)
glass. She nodded, and he ordered a glass of juice for her.
After a while, he took another napkin, drew a picture of a plate with food on it (🍝), and she nodded.
They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing(👫). She nodded, and they got up to dance.
When they were back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a screw.(🔩)

Till to date, he is bloody scratching his head to figure out how on the earth, did the chick know about his hardware store in kirinyaga road...

A man is driving down the road 🚗and breaks down near a monastery⛪. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down.
Do you think I could stay the night? The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner🍚🍲, even fix his car🔧🚗. As the man tries to fall asleep💤, he hears a strange sound💬.
The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, We can't tell you. You're not a monk. The man is disappointed😞 but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way🚗.

Some years later, The same man breaks down in front of the same monastery⛪. The monks again accept him, feed him🍚🍲, even fix his car🔧🚗. That night, he hears the same strange noise 💬that he had heard years earlier. The next morning🌞, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, We can't tell you😶. You're not a monk. The man says, All right, all right. I'm dying to know.😖

If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk? The monks reply, You must travel the earth 🌍and tell us how many blades of grass 🌾there are and the exact number of sand pebbles🔎 When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.

The man sets about his task. Some 4⃣5⃣ years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery⛪. He says, I have traveled the earth🌍 and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass🌾 and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth🌏.


The monks reply, Congratulations. You are now a monk😇. We shall now show you the way to the sound📡. The monks lead the man to a wooden door🚪 where the head monk says, The sound is right behind that door. The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked.

He says, Real funny. May I have the key🔑?




The monks give him the key🔑, and he opens the door.




Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone🚪.



The man demands the key to the stone door.



The monks give him the key🔑, and he opens it, only to find a door 🚪made of ruby.




He demands another key 🔑from the monks, who provide it.



Behind that door is another door🚪, this one made of sapphire,




So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald,




silver,




topaz,




and amethyst.




Finally, the monks say, This is the last key🔑 to the last door.




The man is relieved to know end🏁.




He unlocks the door🔓,




turns the knob,





and behind that door he is amazed 😳to find the source of that strange sound📡




. . . .








. . . .








. . . .








. . . .












☝😐😶But he can't tell you what it is because you're not

a monk
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

(after self-introduction and blah blah...)
Interviewer: All right, now what do you prefer to be asked? A tough question, or some normal questions?
Interviewee: (confused initially, then...) A tough one!
Interviewer:Which comes first, DAY or NIGHT?
Interviewee:(puzzled, as he's not stupid! ) Day.
Interviewer:Why?
Interviewee:You have already asked 'A tough question' , sir!

A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage.
When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had.
She went on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.
Finally, after allowing this to continue for a length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk, asked the woman to stand, and embraced and kissed her passionately.
The woman quietly sat down as though in a daze.
The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs, at least three times a week. Can you do this?"
The husband thought for a moment and replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I go fishing."

By the way...maybe that is why he is not bothered.

Kinyanjui lived in a village called
'Kahuru'. None of his classmates
liked him because of his stupidity,
especially his teacher, who was
always yelling at him, "You are
driving me crazy Kinyanjui!" One day
Kinyanjui's mother came to the
school to check on how he was
doing. The teacher told his mother
honestly, that her son is simply a
disaster, getting very low marks and
had never seen such a dumb boy in
her entire teaching career! The
mother was shocked at the feedback,
withdrew her son from the school
and even moved to another shags! 25
years later, the teacher was
diagnosed with an incurable heart
disease. All the doctors strongly
advised her to have an open heart
operation, which only one surgeon
could perform. Left with no other
options, the teacher decided to have
the operation, which was successful.
When she opened her eyes after the
surgery, she saw a handsome doctor
smiling down at her! She wanted to
thank him, but could not talk. Her
face started to turn blue, she raised
her hand, trying to tell him
something but eventually died! The
doctor was shocked and was trying to
work out what went wrong. When he
turned around, he saw our friend
Kinyanjui, working as a cleaner in the
clinic, who had unplugged the oxygen
equipment to connect his phone
charger!
Don't tell me you thought that
kinyanjui became a doctor!