HOW TO SPOT A #KENYAN.....
1. Goes to a restaurant and orders 'nipee/leta kama ya uleee'
2. They are always dissing other cars, especially ka Vitz but does not even own a bicycle.
3. Every strike has to have the song "Mapambano mapambano", and the "Haki yetu" slogan.
4. They say 207 when they mean 2007
5. They point at stuff with their lips...sijasema Mwende!
6. laughs at a ProBox owner from inside a Tuk Tuk.
7. Reads your newspaper with you in the Matatu and gets angry when you flip over the page.
8. Goes to study in India, returns with an American accent...yu kna wha am sayin?
9. You invite them home for a birthday party and they come empty-handed and hungry.
10. Borrows your pen and never returns, and if they do return, kifuniko imetafunwa!.
11. Refers to all brands of detergent as Omo.
12. Refers to a Toyota Hiace as a Nissan.
13. When rela's come visiting and they expect you give them fare back home.
14. When surprised their first word is "Ngai!"
15. Introduces himself/herself by saying "My names are"
16. Puts Avocado in all types of food even crisps SMH.
17. They fear meeting a police at night than a robber!
18. Buys mineral water once and re-uses the bottle with tap water for 2 months.
19. When driving ataweka mkono ya left juu ya gear, na gari ni Automatic.
20. Create 6-8 lanes on a two lane road...and COMPLAIN of traffic!

4 Jamaicans where sitting and
smoking weed.
They got high and started
philosophizing on what was the
fastest thing in the world.
Jungle man: me think de fastes
ting is ah thought, Becoz b4 u can
think it, it already thought.
Mangoton: nah bwai de fastes
thing is a blink coz b4 u think to
blink, u Gwan blink already
Natty dread: nah man.. De fastes
thing is electricity Becoz wen u
turn on di light, it travel fast and
de light come on!!
Jah rasta: nah u likle boys u is
aaaaallllll wrong man!!! I knw for
a fact dat de fastes ting in di
world is diarrhea coz last night b4
I could think, blink or switch on
de light me done shit up miself

A mad man saw a brand new 4X4 car parked infront of a house. He said
"Wow the owner of this car is very dumb... simple 4×4 he cannot
solve???" ...he then took a stone and wrote on the car =16.
The owner of the car got so angry and went ahead to spray the car new.
The mad man did it again. The owner was so angry by this time that
when he finished spraying, he ordered them to write 4X4=16.
This time, the mad man came around, looked at the car, nodded his
head, smiled, picked a stone and marked it.✅

KSCE 2015 LEAKAGE.
Q1. Name six features of Bungoma wheelbarow. (12 mks)
Q2. Differentiate between Mugo wa Wairimu and Mugomo wa walimu. (4mks)
Q3. Calculate the cost of constructing gates in Nyamira County if the construction of one gate costs sh. 7 Million. V.A.T=1Million
Q4. Describe how the importation of cheap sugar would lead to decline of demand of Brookside milk.
Q5. Explain how 'Maendeleo Chap Chap' would lead to shadding tears.
Q6.
When Obama was coming to Kenya on July, Kidero planted Genetically Modified Grass (GMG) in Nairobi City. Calculate the probability that Kidero will plant Crosses in Nairobi city when Pope Francis visits Kenya (20mks).
Q7. If stopping Kenya Airways flights to west Africa due to Ebola out break can lead to a loss of 20Billion. Calculate the Profit that Kenya Airways would get if flights to Somali are scheduled. (Government grant to K.Q =4Billion)
(15mks)
Q8. Compare and Contrast Mollis and Mugo wa Wairimu.
Q9. Explain the hashtag ‪#‎KenyaOnTopOfTheWorld‬. (7mks)
Q10. Give three CORE characteristics of Mollis. (6mks)