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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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Rankaz13 wrote:washiku wrote:IMAGINE MPESA MESSAGE IN SHENG'
DM36YY596, hii risto imeconfirmiwa. Kuna boys anajiita Anto Yule mndialala amekurushia tembo mbao na soo basa saa jamo ngware leo. Juu haukuwa na any, balance yako saa hii ni Ksh. 20,700.00
Halafu ona, kuna hii risto ya kuwahi loan, mambo za sijui MSHWARI nini nini. Eh pamoja kizee.
Baadaye! Oh, by the way, msee asikuvako akakubeba kaa fala, si wasee wa Saf huvutia wadhii na 0722000000 pekee yake! Sounds pretty nice actually.  Really? Maybe its age, but I surely can't hack that stuff.
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Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,236 Location: Vacuum
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washiku wrote:Rankaz13 wrote:washiku wrote:IMAGINE MPESA MESSAGE IN SHENG'
DM36YY596, hii risto imeconfirmiwa. Kuna boys anajiita Anto Yule mndialala amekurushia tembo mbao na soo basa saa jamo ngware leo. Juu haukuwa na any, balance yako saa hii ni Ksh. 20,700.00
Halafu ona, kuna hii risto ya kuwahi loan, mambo za sijui MSHWARI nini nini. Eh pamoja kizee.
Baadaye! Oh, by the way, msee asikuvako akakubeba kaa fala, si wasee wa Saf huvutia wadhii na 0722000000 pekee yake! Sounds pretty nice actually. Really? Maybe its age, but I surely can't hack that stuff. Its not age,its where you grew up If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/18/2011 Posts: 12,069 Location: Kianjokoma
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Swenani wrote:washiku wrote:Rankaz13 wrote:washiku wrote:IMAGINE MPESA MESSAGE IN SHENG'
DM36YY596, hii risto imeconfirmiwa. Kuna boys anajiita Anto Yule mndialala amekurushia tembo mbao na soo basa saa jamo ngware leo. Juu haukuwa na any, balance yako saa hii ni Ksh. 20,700.00
Halafu ona, kuna hii risto ya kuwahi loan, mambo za sijui MSHWARI nini nini. Eh pamoja kizee.
Baadaye! Oh, by the way, msee asikuvako akakubeba kaa fala, si wasee wa Saf huvutia wadhii na 0722000000 pekee yake! Sounds pretty nice actually. Really? Maybe its age, but I surely can't hack that stuff. Its not age,its where you grew up 
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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Lolest! wrote:Swenani wrote:washiku wrote:Rankaz13 wrote:washiku wrote:IMAGINE MPESA MESSAGE IN SHENG'
DM36YY596, hii risto imeconfirmiwa. Kuna boys anajiita Anto Yule mndialala amekurushia tembo mbao na soo basa saa jamo ngware leo. Juu haukuwa na any, balance yako saa hii ni Ksh. 20,700.00
Halafu ona, kuna hii risto ya kuwahi loan, mambo za sijui MSHWARI nini nini. Eh pamoja kizee.
Baadaye! Oh, by the way, msee asikuvako akakubeba kaa fala, si wasee wa Saf huvutia wadhii na 0722000000 pekee yake! Sounds pretty nice actually. Really? Maybe its age, but I surely can't hack that stuff. Its not age,its where you grew up At least not in Eastlands...
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here
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washiku wrote:Lolest! wrote:Swenani wrote:washiku wrote:Rankaz13 wrote:washiku wrote:IMAGINE MPESA MESSAGE IN SHENG'
DM36YY596, hii risto imeconfirmiwa. Kuna boys anajiita Anto Yule mndialala amekurushia tembo mbao na soo basa saa jamo ngware leo. Juu haukuwa na any, balance yako saa hii ni Ksh. 20,700.00
Halafu ona, kuna hii risto ya kuwahi loan, mambo za sijui MSHWARI nini nini. Eh pamoja kizee.
Baadaye! Oh, by the way, msee asikuvako akakubeba kaa fala, si wasee wa Saf huvutia wadhii na 0722000000 pekee yake! Sounds pretty nice actually. Really? Maybe its age, but I surely can't hack that stuff. Its not age,its where you grew up At least not in Eastlands... Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 12/8/2009 Posts: 972 Location: Nairobi
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C & P Interview btwn a Kenyan immigrant & d consular at d Embassy.....Interview Starts... OFFICER:- what is your name? MUZO:- M.P sir OFFICER:- In full please MUZO:- Muzo Phiri OFFICER:- your father's name? MUZO:- M.P sir OFFICER:- what does that mean? MUZO:- Melvin Phiri OFFICER:- your native place? MUZO: M.P sir OFFICER:- what's that? MUZO:- Muchinga Province OFFICER:- what is your qualification? MUZO:- M.P OFFICER:- (angry) what is thaat?!!! MUZO:- Mathematics Professor OFFICER:- so why do you need a job? MUZO:- it is because of M.P sir OFFICER: meaning? MUZO:- Money Problems OFFICER:- would you explain yourself and stop wasting my time? What's your personality like? MUZO: MP sir. OFFICER: and what is that? MUZO:- Marvelous Personality OFFICER:- I see... I will get back to you. MUZO:- sir, how was M.P sir? OFFICER:- and what's that again? MUZO:- My Performance. OFFICER:- I think u are an M.P MUZO:- m.e.a.n.i.n.g? OFFICER:- Mental Patient!!! Don't laugh alone. Send it to those u desire to put smile on their faces. God bless u. I have sent this to u all because u are M.P. (My People) You will know that you have arrived when money and time are not mutually exclusive "events" in you life!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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"If Cardinal Njue wants Garrisa University college not be closed down, let him marry, raise children and take them to Garrisa. Njue has not ejaculated since he was born yet speaks like a man with children." ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Rank: Member Joined: 8/6/2013 Posts: 640
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McReggae wrote:"If Cardinal Njue wants Garrisa University college not be closed down, let him marry, raise children and take them to Garrisa. Njue has not ejaculated since he was born yet speaks like a man with children." Eish!!! ain't this too harsh for the man of cloth? Its all good.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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Wainadi wrote:McReggae wrote:"If Cardinal Njue wants Garrisa University college not be closed down, let him marry, raise children and take them to Garrisa. Njue has not ejaculated since he was born yet speaks like a man with children." Eish!!! ain't this too harsh for the man of cloth? Kenyans for you!!!! ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Rank: Member Joined: 1/10/2015 Posts: 411
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XSK wrote:C & P
Interview btwn a Kenyan immigrant & d consular at d Embassy.....Interview Starts...
OFFICER:- what is your name?
MUZO:- M.P sir
OFFICER:- In full please
MUZO:- Muzo Phiri
OFFICER:- your father's name?
MUZO:- M.P sir
OFFICER:- what does that mean?
MUZO:- Melvin Phiri
OFFICER:- your native place?
MUZO: M.P sir
OFFICER:- what's that?
MUZO:- Muchinga Province
OFFICER:- what is your qualification?
MUZO:- M.P
OFFICER:- (angry) what is thaat?!!!
MUZO:- Mathematics Professor
OFFICER:- so why do you need a job?
MUZO:- it is because of M.P sir
OFFICER: meaning?
MUZO:- Money Problems
OFFICER:- would you explain yourself and stop wasting my time? What's your personality like?
MUZO: MP sir.
OFFICER: and what is that?
MUZO:- Marvelous Personality
OFFICER:- I see... I will get back to you.
MUZO:- sir, how was M.P sir?
OFFICER:- and what's that again?
MUZO:- My Performance.
OFFICER:- I think u are an M.P
MUZO:- m.e.a.n.i.n.g?
OFFICER:- Mental Patient!!!
Don't laugh alone. Send it to those u desire to put smile on their faces. God bless u.
I have sent this to u all because u are M.P. (My People) Your income is directly related to your philosophy, Not the economy.-Jim Rohn
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/3/2008 Posts: 4,057 Location: Gwitu
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McReggae wrote:"If Cardinal Njue wants Garrisa University college not be closed down, let him marry, raise children and take them to Garrisa. Njue has not ejaculated since he was born yet speaks like a man with children." Aiish! How can you be so certain? He could be your father you know! Truth forever on the scaffold
Wrong forever on the throne
(James Russell Rowell)
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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kaka2za wrote:McReggae wrote:"If Cardinal Njue wants Garrisa University college not be closed down, let him marry, raise children and take them to Garrisa. Njue has not ejaculated since he was born yet speaks like a man with children." Aiish! How can you be so certain? He could be your father you know! Sio yangu buda!!! ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,236 Location: Vacuum
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kaka2za wrote:McReggae wrote:"If Cardinal Njue wants Garrisa University college not be closed down, let him marry, raise children and take them to Garrisa. Njue has not ejaculated since he was born yet speaks like a man with children." Aiish! How can you be so certain? He could be your father you know! Mcreggae Adede Njue If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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McReggae wrote:"If Cardinal Njue wants Garrisa University college not be closed down, let him marry, raise children and take them to Garrisa. Njue has not ejaculated since he was born yet speaks like a man with children." This is not even a laughing matter 
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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A famous inspirational speaker said; Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn’t my wife.The Audience was in shock and silence. He then added: “She was my mother.”(A big round of applause and laughter roared). A very daring husband tried to crack this at home. After dinner, he said loudly to his wife in the kitchen; Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn’t my wife. Standing for a moment, trying to recall the second line of that speaker, by the time he gained his senses, he was on a hospital bed, recovering from burns of hot water! Moral Lesson: Don’t Copy, if you can’t Paste.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/9/2009 Posts: 2,003
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McReggae wrote:kaka2za wrote:McReggae wrote:"If Cardinal Njue wants Garrisa University college not be closed down, let him marry, raise children and take them to Garrisa. Njue has not ejaculated since he was born yet speaks like a man with children." Aiish! How can you be so certain? He could be your father you know! Sio yangu buda!!! Why bring it here if sio yako? What did you expect us to do? Just laugh? What a disgrace!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/11/2012 Posts: 5,222
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washiku wrote:McReggae wrote:"If Cardinal Njue wants Garrisa University college not be closed down, let him marry, raise children and take them to Garrisa. Njue has not ejaculated since he was born yet speaks like a man with children." This is not even a laughing matter Effects of chang'a and being hit on the head fighting political wars. Respect Njue! If not for anything else, he's older than you
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 9/7/2010 Posts: 1,063 Location: Kenya
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Mukiri wrote:washiku wrote:McReggae wrote:"If Cardinal Njue wants Garrisa University college not be closed down, let him marry, raise children and take them to Garrisa. Njue has not ejaculated since he was born yet speaks like a man with children." This is not even a laughing matter Effects of chang'a and being hit on the head fighting political wars. Respect Njue! If not for anything else, he's older than you Salaaaaaaaaaaaalaaaa... And the rumors!!!
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Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,236 Location: Vacuum
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Smano watching football with Mrs Smano Miss Smano: Which teams are playing? Smano: Arsenal Vs Manchester United. Miss Smano:Oooh Wonderful! I love Arsenal Smano:That's a good team. Miss Smano:Is Drogba playing? Smano:He doesn't play for any of these teams. Miss Smano:Okay sweet...is that Chris Brown Smano:(bored) no he is Chamberlain. Miss Smano:Okay but they look the same...What is that yellow card for? Smano:It's a warning to the player. After a few minutes, Rooney scores for Manchester unitedMiss Smano:(Celebrates in high mood) Is that Chamberlain who has scored? Smano:(calmly) no Its Rooney for Mancherster united...! Miss Smano:(Furious) How? It should be Arsenal who shoudl have scored Smano:(silent). Miss Smano:What is that red card for? Smano:(bored) That means the plater should go out of the pitch for misbehaving. Miss Smano:Then is he going to be a coach? Smano:(Scratching his balls) aaaa no... Miss Smano:It's the same with traffic lights; Yellow =warning, Red=danger Smano: Yes sweetheart. Miss Smano:What about the green card? Smano:Nothing of that kind in a field of play... Miss Smano:I want arsenal to win the world cup Smano:(sips Faxe). Miss Smano:Who is that Man standing who looks like Mr. Bean Smano:(Yawns) It's the Arsenal Coach......Arsene Wenger Miss Smano:That means the coach for Manchester united is called Manchest Wenger. Smano: Can we have sex darling? Miss Smano: No darling Smano:(Goes out to make a phone call to the twins) If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,325 Location: Masada
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Swenani wrote:Smano watching football with Mrs Smano
Miss Smano: Which teams are playing?
Smano: Arsenal Vs Manchester United.
Miss Smano:Oooh Wonderful! I love Arsenal
Smano:That's a good team.
Miss Smano:Is Drogba playing?
Smano:He doesn't play for any of these teams.
Miss Smano:Okay sweet...is that Chris Brown
Smano:(bored) no he is Chamberlain.
Miss Smano:Okay but they look the same...What is that yellow card for?
Smano:It's a warning to the player.
After a few minutes, Rooney scores for Manchester united
Miss Smano:(Celebrates in high mood) Is that Chamberlain who has scored?
Smano:(calmly) no Its Rooney for Mancherster united...!
Miss Smano:(Furious) How? It should be Arsenal who shoudl have scored
Smano:(silent).
Miss Smano:What is that red card for?
Smano:(bored) That means the plater should go out of the pitch for misbehaving.
Miss Smano:Then is he going to be a coach?
Smano:(Scratching his balls) aaaa no...
Miss Smano:It's the same with traffic lights; Yellow =warning, Red=danger
Smano: Yes sweetheart.
Miss Smano:What about the green card?
Smano:Nothing of that kind in a field of play...
Miss Smano:I want arsenal to win the world cup
Smano:(sips Faxe).
Miss Smano:Who is that Man standing who looks like Mr. Bean
Smano:(Yawns) It's the Arsenal Coach......Arsene Wenger
Miss Smano:That means the coach for Manchester united is called Manchest Wenger.
Smano: Can we have sex darling?
Miss Smano: No darling
Smano:(Goes out to make a phone call to the twins)  Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.
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