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Just for laughs...corner
Rank: Elder Joined: 4/22/2009 Posts: 2,863
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washiku wrote:A dentist died and his coffin was decorated all over with teeth. At the funeral Swenani couldn't stop laughing and someone asked 'whats funny?' 'l am just imagining how my coffin will be decorated because I am a gynecologist. Ouch! IF YOU EXPECT ME TO POST ANYTHING POSITIVE ABOUT ASENO, YOU MAY AS WELL SIT ON A PIN
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Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,236 Location: Vacuum
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washiku wrote:A dentist died and his coffin was decorated all over with teeth. At the funeral Swenani couldn't stop laughing and someone asked 'whats funny?' 'l am just imagining how my coffin will be decorated because I am a gynecologist.  If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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Rank: Member Joined: 7/1/2014 Posts: 895 Location: sky
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a frustrated SAFARICOM customer sent this message: DEAR SAFARICOM: Ile kitu nitawahi Bonyeza tena ni Avocado kujua kama imeiva. There are only two emotions in the stock market, fear and hope. The problem is, you hope when you should fear and fear when you should hope
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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Rank: Member Joined: 11/19/2009 Posts: 3,142
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littledove wrote:a frustrated SAFARICOM customer sent this message:
DEAR SAFARICOM: Ile kitu nitawahi Bonyeza tena ni Avocado kujua kama imeiva. Laugh Laugh Laugh
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 12/4/2009 Posts: 1,982 Location: matano manne
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Muriel wrote:littledove wrote:a frustrated SAFARICOM customer sent this message:
DEAR SAFARICOM: Ile kitu nitawahi Bonyeza tena ni Avocado kujua kama imeiva. Laugh Laugh Laugh 
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 12/8/2009 Posts: 972 Location: Nairobi
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littledove wrote:a frustrated SAFARICOM customer sent this message:
DEAR SAFARICOM: Ile kitu nitawahi Bonyeza tena ni Avocado kujua kama imeiva. You will know that you have arrived when money and time are not mutually exclusive "events" in you life!
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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PROFESSIONAL MOURNERS ASSOCIATION OF KISUMU.(P-MAK) 2015 prices. 1.kulia for 1hour....1500. 2.kushtua kilio(gweyo)....500. 3.kufaint.....1000. 4.kupiga nduru plain...2000 5.kupiga nduru ukidengua kiunokanungo.....2500. 6. kuroll kwa ground ukilia saaana...5000. 7.kukimbia kwa compound ukilia....900. 8.kulia ukinyambanyamba. ...4000. 9.kukunja sura plain...200. 10.kutetemeka plain....999. 11.kuwa mang'aa ukirukia grave uzikwenamaiti. ......7000
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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@Wamunyota, saidia hapa tafadhali: Effects of Teachers' strike: Mwalimu: What is Zero-grazing? kimani: Kûrîithia magombe o uguo matarakuhe kindu. Ti iriia, ti thumu, ti nyama. Yaani no zero uraingiria! Mwalimu: Muhurirei ruhi niamenya. Haya, maina, hakiri cia funda ciitagwo atia na githungu? maina: Fundamentals! Mwalimu: Very good! Mutihurire maina ruhi. wambui, akurinu na githungu metagwo atia? wambui: Metagwo Corinthians! Mwalimu: wambui niahuriruo ruhi runene biu. Nightmare nikii, Gatuta? Gatuta: Nightmare ni kûmia ûtukû! Mwalimu: mûgûtûûra mûrî irimû nginya thirikari ikanyongerera muchara.
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Rank: Member Joined: 5/9/2013 Posts: 285 Location: hapakule.
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Swenani was given a three-day leave to attend to his newly wedded wife but on getting home, he realised that his wife was in her menstrual period. So he decided to send a telegram to his headquarter to extend his leave but with his mother-in-law and other visitors around, he decided to code his message in the military way. This is what followed; SWENANI: Omega one, this is omega twelve, danger signal from the field, red alert in front, extend leave. Do you read me?! Red alert in front, extend leave. HEADQUARTERS: Omega twelve, this is omega one, I read you loud and clear! Attack from behind, resume duty immediately! I repeat, attack from behind, resume duty immediately!  Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.
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Rank: Member Joined: 1/15/2015 Posts: 681 Location: Kenya
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Kamaa wrote:@ intelligentsia
you made my morning esp. that one for the kamau wa ndundori... i am not from those side...lol! Mwachane na watu wa Ndosh. 
60% Learning, 30% synthesizing, 10% Debating
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Rank: Member Joined: 1/15/2015 Posts: 681 Location: Kenya
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washiku wrote:PROFESSIONAL MOURNERS ASSOCIATION OF KISUMU.(P-MAK)
2015 prices.
1.kulia for 1hour....1500.
2.kushtua kilio(gweyo)....500.
3.kufaint.....1000.
4.kupiga nduru plain...2000
5.kupiga nduru ukidengua kiunokanungo.....2500.
6. kuroll kwa ground ukilia saaana...5000.
7.kukimbia kwa compound ukilia....900.
8.kulia ukinyambanyamba. ...4000.
9.kukunja sura plain...200.
10.kutetemeka plain....999.
11.kuwa mang'aa ukirukia grave uzikwenamaiti. ......7000 No. 9 n 10...
60% Learning, 30% synthesizing, 10% Debating
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Rank: Member Joined: 1/15/2015 Posts: 681 Location: Kenya
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,325 Location: Masada
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 9/7/2010 Posts: 1,063 Location: Kenya
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C&P
A newly married husband saved his wife's number on his mobile as "MY LIFE". After 1 yr of marriage,he
changed the number to "MY WIFE". After 2 yrs of marriage he changed the number to"HOME". After 5 yrs of marriage he changed the number to"HITLER".
After 10 yrs of marriage he changed the number to
"WRONG NUMBER". What name do you think he will save
the wife's number after 15 yrs of marriage?
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 4/1/2009 Posts: 1,882
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Atalaku wrote:
C&P
A newly married husband saved his wife's number on his mobile as "MY LIFE". After 1 yr of marriage,he
changed the number to "MY WIFE". After 2 yrs of marriage he changed the number to"HOME". After 5 yrs of marriage he changed the number to"HITLER".
After 10 yrs of marriage he changed the number to
"WRONG NUMBER". What name do you think he will save
the wife's number after 15 yrs of marriage?
ex-mrs wamapisha
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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Benson was sitting in church and it was time for offering, so the offering basket was passed around. He quickly pulled sh20 from his pocket and dropped it in. Just then, the person behind him tapped him on the shoulder and handed him a sh1000 note. Benson smiled, placed the sh1000 note in the basket and passed it on, admiring the man for being so generous. He felt another tap from behind and heard the man whisper ”son” the man said, ”That sh1000 fell from your pocket.”
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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On the judgement day, there are people who will go to heaven straight, because they went through hell on earth,mostly men!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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A driver was driving his boss to the airport, the boss noticed that he forgot an important document at home, so he went back home, his wife was bathing with soap on her face, the husband tip-toed and touched the boobs, the wife responded, you've dropped my stupid husband so fast. Don't rush coz we've got the whole weekend to spend together, I'm praying for him to have a plane crash so that I can enjoy you till the end of my life! She noticed the person was quiet and so she washed her face and saw her husband standing in from of her! ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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Surprise your girlfriend this Valentines by introducing her to your wife!!!!! This message is sponsored by Chanache Coffin Workshop in conjunction with Umash and Lee Funeral Home.
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