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Just for laughs...corner
kysse
#2461 Posted : Monday, July 28, 2014 10:41:28 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 1/17/2013
Posts: 4,693
Location: Earth
washiku wrote:
A couple had a huge fight one night. Going to bed, the husband decided to insult his wife in anger...

Husband: Good night ugly old mother of three...

Wife replied: Good night father of none.

That is how the Gaza war begun.


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Ai you'v made my day.Thanks!
sorovi
#2462 Posted : Wednesday, July 30, 2014 2:04:58 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 8/3/2007
Posts: 146
This just made my day Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

Quote:


In fact, Lands secretary Charity Ngilu, in a letter that was read to the court said that "doing the best with the resources and time available to us, we have not located any land, title or property registered under the name of Uhuru Muigai Kenyatta."


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

link
Swenani
#2463 Posted : Wednesday, July 30, 2014 3:09:47 PM
Rank: User


Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 13,236
Location: Vacuum
sorovi wrote:
This just made my day Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

Quote:


In fact, Lands secretary Charity Ngilu, in a letter that was read to the court said that "doing the best with the resources and time available to us, we have not located any land, title or property registered under the name of Uhuru Muigai Kenyatta."


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

link

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
Othelo
#2464 Posted : Wednesday, July 30, 2014 3:40:55 PM
Rank: User


Joined: 1/20/2014
Posts: 3,528
Swenani wrote:
sorovi wrote:
This just made my day Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

Quote:


In fact, Lands secretary Charity Ngilu, in a letter that was read to the court said that "doing the best with the resources and time available to us, we have not located any land, title or property registered under the name of Uhuru Muigai Kenyatta."


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

link

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

True that Applause Applause Applause
Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune - Jim Rohn.
Swenani
#2465 Posted : Thursday, July 31, 2014 3:22:41 PM
Rank: User


Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 13,236
Location: Vacuum
A mother used to cook for Bigchick and Magigi chicken everyday but the they got fed up.

Bigchick:Nitaambia mum aache kupika kuku
Magigi: Kwa nini
BigChick:Nimeanza kumea manyoya huko chini
Magigi:Nilidhani ni mimi tu
BigChick:(pulling her torn panty with madoadoa down)ata wewe,ona zangu venye ni mob,ebu nione zako
Magigi;(Taking her cowboy boxer down) Ona kazi ya mum na kuku zake daily
Big chick: Ghai! yako imezidi, si manyoya pekee, unameanza kumea shingo ya kuku pia
Magigi: Hata si shingo pekee,shika usikie mayai mbili hapo chini ya shingo
If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
Rankaz13
#2466 Posted : Thursday, July 31, 2014 8:45:34 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/21/2013
Posts: 2,841
Location: Here
Swenani wrote:
A mother used to cook for Bigchick and Magigi chicken everyday but the they got fed up.

Bigchick:Nitaambia mum aache kupika kuku
Magigi: Kwa nini
BigChick:Nimeanza kumea manyoya huko chini
Magigi:Nilidhani ni mimi tu
BigChick:(pulling her torn panty with madoadoa down)ata wewe,ona zangu venye ni mob,ebu nione zako
Magigi;(Taking her cowboy boxer down) Ona kazi ya mum na kuku zake daily
Big chick: Ghai! yako imezidi, si manyoya pekee, unameanza kumea shingo ya kuku pia
Magigi: Hata si shingo pekee,shika usikie mayai mbili hapo chini ya shingo


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
washiku
#2467 Posted : Thursday, July 31, 2014 8:55:59 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
Swenani wrote:
A mother used to cook for Bigchick and Magigi chicken everyday but the they got fed up.

Bigchick:Nitaambia mum aache kupika kuku
Magigi: Kwa nini
BigChick:Nimeanza kumea manyoya huko chini
Magigi:Nilidhani ni mimi tu
BigChick:(pulling her torn panty with madoadoa down)ata wewe,ona zangu venye ni mob,ebu nione zako
Magigi;(Taking her cowboy boxer down) Ona kazi ya mum na kuku zake daily
Big chick: Ghai! yako imezidi, si manyoya pekee, unameanza kumea shingo ya kuku pia
Magigi: Hata si shingo pekee,shika usikie mayai mbili hapo chini ya shingo


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
newfarer
#2468 Posted : Thursday, July 31, 2014 8:58:27 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/19/2010
Posts: 3,503
Location: Uganda
Rankaz13 wrote:
Swenani wrote:
A mother used to cook for Bigchick and Magigi chicken everyday but the they got fed up.

Bigchick:Nitaambia mum aache kupika kuku
Magigi: Kwa nini
BigChick:Nimeanza kumea manyoya huko chini
Magigi:Nilidhani ni mimi tu
BigChick:(pulling her torn panty with madoadoa down)ata wewe,ona zangu venye ni mob,ebu nione zako
Magigi;(Taking her cowboy boxer down) Ona kazi ya mum na kuku zake daily
Big chick: Ghai! yako imezidi, si manyoya pekee, unameanza kumea shingo ya kuku pia
Magigi: Hata si shingo pekee,shika usikie mayai mbili hapo chini ya shingo


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

Laughing out loudly
punda amecheka
littledove
#2469 Posted : Thursday, July 31, 2014 9:07:27 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 7/1/2014
Posts: 895
Location: sky
Rankaz13 wrote:
[quote=Swenani]A mother used to cook for Bigchick and Magigi chicken everyday but the they got fed up.

Bigchick:Nitaambia mum aache kupika kuku
Magigi: Kwa nini
BigChick:Nimeanza kumea manyoya huko chini
Magigi:Nilidhani ni mimi tu
BigChick:(pulling her torn panty with madoadoa down)ata wewe,ona zangu venye ni mob,ebu nione zako
Magigi;(Taking her cowboy boxer down) Ona kazi ya mum na kuku zake daily
Big chick: Ghai! yako imezidi, si manyoya pekee, unameanza kumea shingo ya kuku pia
Magigi: Hata si shingo pekee,shika usikie mayai mbili hapo chini ya shingo


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly [/quote


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
There are only two emotions in the stock market, fear and hope. The problem is, you hope when you should fear and fear when you should hope
kangi
#2470 Posted : Thursday, July 31, 2014 9:46:36 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 7/23/2009
Posts: 526
littledove wrote:
Rankaz13 wrote:
[quote=Swenani]A mother used to cook for Bigchick and Magigi chicken everyday but the they got fed up.

Bigchick:Nitaambia mum aache kupika kuku
Magigi: Kwa nini
BigChick:Nimeanza kumea manyoya huko chini
Magigi:Nilidhani ni mimi tu
BigChick:(pulling her torn panty with madoadoa down)ata wewe,ona zangu venye ni mob,ebu nione zako
Magigi;(Taking her cowboy boxer down) Ona kazi ya mum na kuku zake daily
Big chick: Ghai! yako imezidi, si manyoya pekee, unameanza kumea shingo ya kuku pia
Magigi: Hata si shingo pekee,shika usikie mayai mbili hapo chini ya shingo


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly [/quote


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

oi @magigi I hope there was no crest.
Accept no one's definition of your life; define your life.
Rankaz13
#2471 Posted : Thursday, July 31, 2014 11:00:07 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/21/2013
Posts: 2,841
Location: Here
Awesome read:

INSTALLING HUSBAND

A Woman writes to the IT Technical Support Guy

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a Distinct Slowdown in the overall System Performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewellery Applications, which Operated Flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 Uninstalled another Valuable Program, Romance 9.5 and then Installed undesirable Programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and FOOTBALL 4.1

What can I do ?



Reply:-

Dear Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter Command: "ithoughtyoulovedme.html" and try to Download Tears 6.2. Then it will automatically run the Applications Jewellery 3.0 and Flowers 3.5

However, remember, Overuse of the above Application can cause Husband 1.0 to Default to Silence 3.5 or Beer 6.1.

Also DO NOT disturb the original Package of Husband 1.0.... Otherwise new Virus Girlfriend 2.5 will automatically be Downloaded into your System.

So be careful. In addition, please do not attempt to Re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 Program. These are Unsupported Applications and will Crash Husband 1.0.

We recommend: Cooking 5.0 and Hot Looks 7.7

Good Luck Madam.


Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
kenmac
#2472 Posted : Friday, August 01, 2014 2:57:39 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/26/2009
Posts: 1,793
Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
Rankaz13 wrote:
Awesome read:

INSTALLING HUSBAND

A Woman writes to the IT Technical Support Guy

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a Distinct Slowdown in the overall System Performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewellery Applications, which Operated Flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 Uninstalled another Valuable Program, Romance 9.5 and then Installed undesirable Programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and FOOTBALL 4.1

What can I do ?



Reply:-

Dear Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter Command: "ithoughtyoulovedme.html" and try to Download Tears 6.2. Then it will automatically run the Applications Jewellery 3.0 and Flowers 3.5

However, remember, Overuse of the above Application can cause Husband 1.0 to Default to Silence 3.5 or Beer 6.1.

Also DO NOT disturb the original Package of Husband 1.0.... Otherwise new Virus Girlfriend 2.5 will automatically be Downloaded into your System.

So be careful. In addition, please do not attempt to Re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 Program. These are Unsupported Applications and will Crash Husband 1.0.

We recommend: Cooking 5.0 and Hot Looks 7.7

Good Luck Madam.



......Ecclesiastes
rock
#2473 Posted : Friday, August 01, 2014 3:06:28 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 2/25/2009
Posts: 973
washiku
#2474 Posted : Tuesday, August 05, 2014 1:09:54 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
Husband:I lost my wife,she went shopping and hasn’t come back yet.
Policeman:What was her height?
Husband:I never checked
Policeman:Slim or fat?
Husband:Not slim,a bit fat
Policeman:Colour of eyes?
Husband:Never noticed
Policeman:Colour of hair?
Husband:Changes according to season
Policeman:What was she wearing?
Husband:Not sure whether it was a dress or a suit.
Policeman:Was she driving?
Husband:yes
Policeman:Colour of the car?
Husband:Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode.And it has full LED headlights,which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door………..(the husband started crying)

Policeman:Don’t worry sir,….we will find your car
washiku
#2475 Posted : Tuesday, August 05, 2014 1:33:11 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
Kihara joni
#2476 Posted : Tuesday, August 05, 2014 4:16:11 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 5/8/2013
Posts: 386
Location: Nyali mombasa
washiku wrote:
Husband:I lost my wife,she went shopping and hasn’t come back yet.
Policeman:What was her height?
Husband:I never checked
Policeman:Slim or fat?
Husband:Not slim,a bit fat
Policeman:Colour of eyes?
Husband:Never noticed
Policeman:Colour of hair?
Husband:Changes according to season
Policeman:What was she wearing?
Husband:Not sure whether it was a dress or a suit.
Policeman:Was she driving?
Husband:yes
Policeman:Colour of the car?
Husband:Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode.And it has full LED headlights,which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door………..(the husband started crying)

Policeman:Don’t worry sir,….we will find your car


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly heh ati never noticed, then proceeds to give mad specs on the car
washiku
#2477 Posted : Tuesday, August 05, 2014 6:37:47 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
Shopkeeper: John, its now one year and you have not paid my debt...

John: So unataka tufanye nini? Put your hands together we sing the debt a happy birthday.
Rankaz13
#2478 Posted : Tuesday, August 05, 2014 7:36:25 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/21/2013
Posts: 2,841
Location: Here
washiku wrote:
Shopkeeper: John, its now one year and you have not paid my debt...

John: So unataka tufanye nini? Put your hands together we sing the debt a happy birthday.


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Applause Applause Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
Rankaz13
#2479 Posted : Tuesday, August 05, 2014 7:46:19 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/21/2013
Posts: 2,841
Location: Here
Kihara joni wrote:
washiku wrote:
Husband:I lost my wife,she went shopping and hasn’t come back yet.
Policeman:What was her height?
Husband:I never checked
Policeman:Slim or fat?
Husband:Not slim,a bit fat
Policeman:Colour of eyes?
Husband:Never noticed
Policeman:Colour of hair?
Husband:Changes according to season
Policeman:What was she wearing?
Husband:Not sure whether it was a dress or a suit.
Policeman:Was she driving?
Husband:yes
Policeman:Colour of the car?
Husband:Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode.And it has full LED headlights,which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door………..(the husband started crying)

Policeman:Don’t worry sir,….we will find your car


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly heh ati never noticed, then proceeds to give mad specs on the car


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
littledove
#2480 Posted : Tuesday, August 05, 2014 8:24:56 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 7/1/2014
Posts: 895
Location: sky
washiku wrote:
Shopkeeper: John, its now one year and you have not paid my debt...

John: So unataka tufanye nini? Put your hands together we sing the debt a happy birthday.

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
There are only two emotions in the stock market, fear and hope. The problem is, you hope when you should fear and fear when you should hope
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