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Just for laughs...corner
Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/26/2007 Posts: 6,514
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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 Then this: Kikuyu word of the day. ...CHICKEN WING For example in a sentence..."Njeri plays the lottery everyday so CHICKEN WING some money."
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Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,236 Location: Vacuum
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Then this: Kikuyu word of the day. ...CHICKEN WING For example in a sentence..."Njeri plays the lottery everyday so CHICKEN WING some NDERITU...John's car stalled because of nderitu fuel If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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Yesterday I was having a conversation with one of the senior managers at our office, a Swedish guy. Then he asked me, “Which side of Kenya are you from?” “Kisumu, near Lake Victoria,” I replied. Then he asked, “Is that where the president comes from?” And I asked, “Which President, of Kenya or America?” Then we both laughed ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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If you funga a girl on a Friday night and her parents and friends don't know where she is the whole weekend, you are #BokoHaram
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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Thika Road Fare problems.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here
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McReggae wrote:Yesterday I was having a conversation with one of the senior managers at our office, a Swedish guy. Then he asked me, “Which side of Kenya are you from?”
“Kisumu, near Lake Victoria,” I replied.
Then he asked, “Is that where the president comes from?”
And I asked, “Which President, of Kenya or America?”
Then we both laughed
 Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/1/2009 Posts: 2,436
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/26/2009 Posts: 1,793
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/21/2008 Posts: 2,490
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The Wambora/ CountryMan clip is better!! The man who marries a beautiful woman, and the farmer who grows corn by the roadside have the same problem
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 12/4/2009 Posts: 1,982 Location: matano manne
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 12/4/2009 Posts: 1,982 Location: matano manne
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washiku wrote:“Doc,” says Steve, “I want to be castrated.”
“What on earth for?” asks the doctor in amazement.
“It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done” replies Steve.
“But have you thought it through properly?” asks the doctor, “It’s a very serious operation and once it’s done, there’s no going back. It will change your life forever!”
“I’m aware of that and you’re not going to change my mind — either you book me in to be castrated or I’ll simply go to another doctor.”
“Well, OK.”, says the doctor, “But it’s against my better judgment!” So Steve has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand.
Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way.
“Hi there,” says Steve,”It looks as if you’ve just had the same operation as me.”
“Well,” said the patient, “I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would like to be circumcised.”
Steve stared at him in horror & screamed “Shit! THAT’S THE WORD!” . hii ni kali sana
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Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,236 Location: Vacuum
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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A maid asks her boss(a madam) to increase her pay: Madam:Why do you want me to increase your pay? Maid:Am a better cook than you Madam:Who told you that? Maid:Your huzzy Madam:What else? Maid:I iron better than you Madam;Who told you that Maid:Him Madam:Am not convinced yet...what else? Maid:Am good in bed than you *Madam gets furious and wants to rip the maid apart and shouts* Madam: DID MY HUSBAND SAY THAT TO YOU?????!!!! Maid:No.The driver told me that.That am better than you in bed. Madam:Shhhh....stop shouting pple may hear us.How much do you want as an increment?
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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A Kind Lawyer One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was driving in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed by the sight, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the lawyer said. "But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree". "Bring them along," the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also." The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and six children with me!" "Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered. They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you." The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 meter high!" Lesson: Never trust lawyers....and there is nothing like KIND LAWYERS
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/31/2008 Posts: 7,081 Location: Kenya
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Stolen
Kamba word of the day:
Bandit
Example: Ai mblo, kweli hio lally ya Cord itafanyika? I thought kimaiyo bandit.
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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Rank: Member Joined: 9/30/2013 Posts: 659
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 If you stay ready, no need to get ready.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/18/2011 Posts: 12,069 Location: Kianjokoma
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Quote:Marriage Bill Nyeri County Edition:
1. Kama mimi si mrebo,usiniabie ati mimi ni mrebo. Ati dio tu niweze kuigia box. Ama dio carton. Ogea ukweri. Sitakuuma. After all,si wewe uriniumba. So makosa si yako.
2. Ukinipromise utanipereka Zanzibar,tafathari timiza Ahadi. Si ati uniabie tutaeda Zanzibar arafu unipereke Nyahururu. Ama Sagana. Kwani Zanzibar yako inaedagwo na Boda Boda??
3. Mimi ni mwanamke. Nahitaji kukaa vizuri. Na nahitaji kupewo pesa ya kujirebesa. Sio ati kazi tu ni kunipea shirigi hamsini hamsini kira mwezi. Unanipea hamsini nipereke wapi? Kwani ni sadaka??
4. Tukikosana,WEWE DIO UKO KWA MAKOSA. ALWAYS. Na hatutabishana Kijana. Kubari makosa na unyamaze. Na mapenzi yaederee.
5. Kama ni date tafathari nipereke hoteri za guvu. Hoteri ziko na gumo. Nimechoka kuperekwo kwa Mama Waithera. Na nimechoka kutumia vikobe za mabati. Na kukaria viti za bao.
6. Kama mipago yako sio kunioa,tafathari kaa bari na mimi. Usiniretee mushene,ati 'Oh nakupeda,ati Oh,wewe nitaishi na wewe mirere'' arafu uniwashanishe kama lorry imeng'oka muguu kwa barabara. Kichwa yangu inagoga harusi,kama yako haigongi arusi,jipe suguri.
7. Nikiria unafaa unikamate taitly in your arms ukiniabia, 'Sorry baibe. It gonna be orait' sio ati mimi naria na wewe uko hapo unanikodorea maitho kama thinema. Mùgúrúki úyú.
8. Simu yagu ni yako. Na simu yako ni yagu. Hakuna cha ati 'dont tash my phone' . Actually,kira Wednesday tutakuwo tukibadirishana Sim Card.
9. Abia ma EX wako wote wakae bari na wewe. As far as possible. Kwanza wakiweza wahamie Meru. Kama hawataki kuchomwo kama mahidi. Na uwaabie wasiwahi kukutext. Kitu chochote. Ama wakati wowote. Ati kukuabia Gdnyt. Mimi dio nafaa kudecide the kind of night you will have.
10. Ukioba,lazima uobe kwa sauti. Sio ati ujifiche kwa kakona ati unaoba kimoyomoyo,razima niskie kire unaabia Mugu. Ama rabda unamwabia aniodoe kwa maisha yako.
11. Watu wetu wanakuwaga weda wazimu. Washana nao.
12. Razima uote na mimi. Every night. Either uote na mimi. Ama uote ukitegeneza pesa. Anythng else ni hatia. Na ukiota na mimi uhakikishe nimevaa vizuri. Sitaki kuaibishwo kwa doto mimi.
13. Sipedi kukiss. I think ni ujinga kumumunya mudomo ya mtu mwingine,kwani ni peremede ya KSL??
14. Sinaga hobby. So,sitaki maswari za ujiga ati 'What is your hobby?' . Actuarry hobby yagu ni moja tu. Kukupeda. Iyo dio hobby yangu.
15. Utanipereka kwenyu rini? Harakisha. Napeda kutebea.
16. We will never break-up. Ukinipeda hauna bahati. Utanipeda mirere. Kama vire Yesu aripeda Kanisa.
17. Sipedi kushikwo mkono in public. Kwani mimi ni mtoto?? Ama wewe ni baba yagu??
18. Energy Drinks nimekataa. Hizo haufai kukunywa...Unataka Energy ya nini??? Ya kuniwacha???
Ama ya kutoroka??
19. Na pia sipedi kudara darwo ovyo ovyo. Unanidara kwani mimi ni Pages za Bible ya Juliani??
20.Yaani sitaki ati uniretee styro zingine hapa za kishetani. Ati 'Oh rara ivi,ati Oh weka miguu nyuma ya kishwa...ati Oh twede kwa kiti...' Kwani wewe ni Devil Worshipper?? styro ni ire ya kawaida ya mababu wetu
Anyway,KARIBU KWA ROHO YAGU.
Yours Waitherero.
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