wazua Fri, Mar 29, 2024
Welcome Guest Search | Active Topics | Log In | Register

147 Pages«<115116117118119>»
Just for laughs...corner
washiku
#2321 Posted : Wednesday, April 09, 2014 6:46:37 AM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
Mukiri wrote:
washiku wrote:
Mukiri wrote:
Swenani wrote:
washiku wrote:
Swenani wrote:
washiku wrote:
Please Advice this Guy...

Hi, naitwa Alex na niko form 3. Nikiwa class 8 nililala na dem alikuwa amemaliza form 4 na baadaye tukajamishana na akaolewa. Last month wameachana na hazi wake akakuja kwetu na ball kubwa akasema niyangu. Akasema vile tulijamishana iliacha kugrow but last year ameanza kunipenda tena ikaanza kugrow ndio ishaakuwa big. Nikaona ananidanganya nikauliza hazi wake kama alimweka ball akasema hapana alimwoa nayo. Akasema niukweli virgin akipata ball na ajam huwacha kugrow mpaka aanze kupenda mwenye ball ndio igrow.
Sasa nashindwa vile nitado coz sitaki kuwa baba nikiwa shule na pia mtoi niwangu siwezi mkana. Niko frustrated sana, pliz niadvise vile nitado...


Niaje Washiku,

Enyewe inakaa hauko prepared kuwa mbuyu.Lakini usikate tama mzeiya.Wewe bado ni kijanaa usikubali huyo mshee akukatizie starehe zako.

Wewe kwara hio story,ambia mshee wako Doki aliksho hauwezipeana ball coz ball zako zilichapa.

Akileta noma, kubali alafu utoanishe hio ball hewa.Usijali venye utaitoanisha coz najua masaa fulani hapo ulolo anatoanisha hewa na brown tatu.

Strong mtu wangu


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Yours is too deep. Sijaelewa chochote.


Kama hii ni Gweng kwako haikosi wewe ni ule babi wa earthwire kutoka westy.

Usijali lakini sheng ni ya watu wa ngwida

Hio story ya kavu tatu ni mezesha kwa Sir Godi. Chunga mtu wangu usije ukaitana kwa kuadisia huyo mtoi.


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Mukiri kumbe pia wewe ni born tau? Au munasikizanga ghetto FM? Sasa mimi nililelewa shags. Inakaa ushamba utaniua. I am in the group that @Alma despices for coming to the city too late, to look for jobs.

Bro, In this life you adapt or die. But if you found me talking to a white, you'd think I've taken one too many mkebes of cerelac, if you found me hustling in Gikomba, you'd expect me to chomoa a bottle of glue and start sniffing. Found in shags, you'd want to remove the jiggers from my feetsmile


smile Nice one
washiku
#2322 Posted : Wednesday, April 09, 2014 9:06:53 AM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
Rankaz13
#2323 Posted : Wednesday, April 09, 2014 12:33:29 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/21/2013
Posts: 2,841
Location: Here
washiku wrote:





Verified Parody! President of Brookside, Brookhouse, Brooklyn, and Brookenge!!

BrooBuru Estate

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
Swenani
#2324 Posted : Wednesday, April 09, 2014 2:57:18 PM
Rank: User


Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 13,236
Location: Vacuum
Girl:Am pregnant
Mum:How?
Girl:Its an accident
Mum:You mean you were walking on the road and fell on an erect penis?
If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
McReggae
#2325 Posted : Wednesday, April 09, 2014 3:12:07 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/17/2008
Posts: 23,365
Location: Nairobi
Rankaz13 wrote:
washiku wrote:





Verified Parody! President of Brookside, Brookhouse, Brooklyn, and Brookenge!!

BrooBuru Estate

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly That parody account is just funny, been following since jana!!!
..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
washiku
#2326 Posted : Friday, April 11, 2014 12:35:57 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
A man dies and goes to hell. Once
there, he finds that there is a
different hell for each country, so
he tries to seek out the least
painful one.

At the door to German Hell,

he is told: "First they put you in an electric
chair for an hour.

Then they lay you on a bed
of nails for another hour. Then
the German devil comes in and
whips you for the rest of the
day.
" He does not like the sound
of that, so he checks out
American Hell, Russian Hell and
many more. They are all similarly
gruesome. However, at Kenyan
Hell a long line of people is
waiting to get in. Amazed, he
asks, "What do they do here?"

He is told: "First they put you in an
electric chair for an hour. Then
they lay you on a bed of nails for
another hour.

Then the Kenyan devil comes in

and whips you for the rest of the day.

" "But that's the same as the others,

" says the man. "Why are so many people
waiting to get in?"

"Because of the power cuts,
the electric chair does not work.

The nails were paid for but never supplied,

so the bed is comfortable. And the
Kenyan devil used to be a civil
servant, so he comes in, signs his
time sheet and goes back home
for private business."
butterflyke
#2327 Posted : Friday, April 11, 2014 12:40:53 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/1/2010
Posts: 3,024
Location: Hapa
washiku wrote:
A man dies and goes to hell. Once
there, he finds that there is a
different hell for each country, so
he tries to seek out the least
painful one.

At the door to German Hell,

he is told: "First they put you in an electric
chair for an hour.

Then they lay you on a bed
of nails for another hour. Then
the German devil comes in and
whips you for the rest of the
day.
" He does not like the sound
of that, so he checks out
American Hell, Russian Hell and
many more. They are all similarly
gruesome. However, at Kenyan
Hell a long line of people is
waiting to get in. Amazed, he
asks, "What do they do here?"

He is told: "First they put you in an
electric chair for an hour. Then
they lay you on a bed of nails for
another hour.

Then the Kenyan devil comes in

and whips you for the rest of the day.

" "But that's the same as the others,

" says the man. "Why are so many people
waiting to get in?"

"Because of the power cuts,
the electric chair does not work.

The nails were paid for but never supplied,

so the bed is comfortable. And the
Kenyan devil used to be a civil
servant, so he comes in, signs his
time sheet and goes back home
for private business."



Sad but also Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. - Muhammad Ali🐝
Rankaz13
#2328 Posted : Friday, April 11, 2014 7:21:16 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/21/2013
Posts: 2,841
Location: Here
butterflyke wrote:
washiku wrote:
A man dies and goes to hell. Once
there, he finds that there is a
different hell for each country, so
he tries to seek out the least
painful one.

At the door to German Hell,

he is told: "First they put you in an electric
chair for an hour.

Then they lay you on a bed
of nails for another hour. Then
the German devil comes in and
whips you for the rest of the
day.
" He does not like the sound
of that, so he checks out
American Hell, Russian Hell and
many more. They are all similarly
gruesome. However, at Kenyan
Hell a long line of people is
waiting to get in. Amazed, he
asks, "What do they do here?"

He is told: "First they put you in an
electric chair for an hour. Then
they lay you on a bed of nails for
another hour.

Then the Kenyan devil comes in

and whips you for the rest of the day.

" "But that's the same as the others,

" says the man. "Why are so many people
waiting to get in?"

"Because of the power cuts,
the electric chair does not work.

The nails were paid for but never supplied,

so the bed is comfortable. And the
Kenyan devil used to be a civil
servant, so he comes in, signs his
time sheet and goes back home
for private business."



Sad but also Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
Rankaz13
#2329 Posted : Friday, April 11, 2014 7:23:14 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/21/2013
Posts: 2,841
Location: Here
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
washiku
#2330 Posted : Friday, April 11, 2014 8:47:20 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
Rankaz13 wrote:


He he he... Nice one. Never gets old.
Mukiri
#2331 Posted : Friday, April 11, 2014 10:40:51 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/11/2012
Posts: 5,222
washiku wrote:
Rankaz13 wrote:


He he he... Nice one. Never gets old.

Hapo tumeonewa!

Proverbs 19:21
AlphDoti
#2332 Posted : Friday, April 11, 2014 11:22:34 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,274
Location: Kenya
Mukiri wrote:
washiku wrote:
Rankaz13 wrote:


He he he... Nice one. Never gets old.

Hapo tumeonewa!

@alma this is what I referred you to, have you watched? (no abuses please, it is with regard to a question you asked)
washiku
#2333 Posted : Saturday, April 12, 2014 9:29:57 AM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
A famous businessman meets a beautiful girl
and agrees to spend the afternoon with her
for 50000 kshs. So they do.
Before he leaves, he tells her that he does
not have any cash with him, but that he will
have his secretary write a check and mail it
to her, calling the payment 'RENT FOR
APARTMENT.'
On the way to the office he regrets what he
has done, realizing that the whole event was
not worth the price. So he has his secretary
send a check for 25000 and enclosed the
following typed note :
Dear Madam,
Enclosed find check in the amount of 25000
for rent of your apartment.
I am not sending the amount agreed upon,
because when I rented the apartment, I was
under the impression that
1) it had never been occupied;
2) that there was plenty of heat;
3) that it was small enough to make me cozy
and at home.
However, I found out that it had been
previously occupied, that there wasn't any
heat, and that it was entirely too large.
Upon receipt of the note, the girl
immediately returned the check for 25000
with the following note :
Dear Sir
First of all, I cannot understand how you
expect a beautiful apartment to remain
unoccupied indefinitely.
As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you
know how to turn it on.
Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed
of regular size, but if you don't have enough
furniture to fill it, please do not blame the
landlady.
Send the rent in full or we will be forced to
contact your present landlady!
kelele.com
#2334 Posted : Monday, April 14, 2014 8:34:11 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 6/28/2010
Posts: 293
Location: Gigiri
Rankaz13 wrote:
washiku wrote:





Verified Parody! President of Brookside, Brookhouse, Brooklyn, and Brookenge!!

BrooBuru Estate

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly


HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause

KUMBE THE PERSON BEHIND THAT UHURU KENYATTA PARODY IS THE WAZUAN THAT STARTED THIS THREAD

JUST CHECK THE LINK ON THE PROFILE OF THIS TWITTER ACCOUNT

https://twitter.com/olemarex
Sina Signature. NKT
kelele.com
#2335 Posted : Monday, April 14, 2014 9:42:28 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 6/28/2010
Posts: 293
Location: Gigiri
Teacher: Spell the word AMBULANCE
Pupil. A..M....B...Y......U.....
Teacher: Faster!!!
Pupil.. Wiuwiuwiuwiuwiuwiuwiuwiuwiuwiuwiuwiuwiu
Sina Signature. NKT
Rankaz13
#2336 Posted : Monday, April 14, 2014 9:06:54 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/21/2013
Posts: 2,841
Location: Here
kelele.com wrote:
Teacher: Spell the word AMBULANCE
Pupil. A..M....B...Y......U.....
Teacher: Faster!!!
Pupil.. Wiuwiuwiuwiuwiuwiuwiuwiuwiuwiuwiuwiuwiu


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
washiku
#2337 Posted : Monday, April 14, 2014 10:41:17 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
While in England Uhuru met the Queen of England and asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"
"Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Uhuru frowned, "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"
The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's
easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle."
The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send David Cameron in here, would you?
David Cameron walked into the room. "Yes, my Queen?"
The Queen smiled. "Answer me this, please, David. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, David Cameron answered, "That would be me."
"Yes! Very good," said the Queen.
Uhuru came back to Kenya & asked Duale the same question.
"Duale. Answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your
sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," said Duale. "Let me get back to you on that one." Duale went and asked his advisors but none gave him an answer.
Finally, he ended up in the urinal and met Ababu Namwamba.
Duale asked Namwamba "Ababu! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Ababu yelled back, "That's easy. It's me!"
Duale smiled, and said, "Thanks man!"
Then pleased with himself, he went back to speak with Uhuru.
"Mr. President, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Ababu Namwamba!!."
Uhuru got up, stomped over to Duale, and angrily yelled into his face, "No,
you idiot! It's David Cameron!"......
washiku
#2338 Posted : Tuesday, April 15, 2014 2:37:45 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
Children Are Quick and Always Speak Their Minds
____________________________________

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using the tables.
__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

(I Love this child)
____________________________________________

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie...... always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet'
________________________________

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand......
______________________________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No sir, It's the same dog.

(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
___________________________________

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
________________________
4lourBliss
#2339 Posted : Wednesday, April 16, 2014 2:57:21 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 5/9/2013
Posts: 285
Location: hapakule.
One day the pope asked his driver to let him drive for a change. "It's been long, you know."So they switched places.
A few miles down the highway they were flagged down. The Pope rolled down his window and inquired of the traffic cop,
"Something the matter, officer?"
The cop stared at them in amazement and utter disbelief. "Just a second, sir". He stepped aside and pulled out his radio. Excerpts:
Cop: Sir, I stopped a really important guy for speeding, and I don't know what to do with him.
Boss: Write him a ticket. I don't care who he is.
Cop: But sir, he's really important...
Boss (sneering): Is it the senator? Or the governor maybe?
Cop: Neither, sir. More senior.
Boss (hesitant): Is it the president?
Cop: No, sir.
Boss (perplexed): Then who is it?
Cop: I...I think it's God, sir...
Boss (utterly dumbfounded): GOD? What makes you think it's God?
Cop: Well sir, the pope is his driver!...‪smile
Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.
Rankaz13
#2340 Posted : Wednesday, April 16, 2014 9:18:20 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/21/2013
Posts: 2,841
Location: Here
An Italian Boy's Confession

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
I have been with a loose girl'.

The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?'

'Yes, Father, it is.'

'And who was the girl you were with?'

'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'.

'Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later. So you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'

'I cannot say.'

'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'

'I'll never tell.'

'Was it Nina Capelli?'

'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'

'Was it Cathy Piriano?'

'My lips are sealed.'

'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'

'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration.
'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that.
But you've sinned and have to atone.
You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months.
Now you go and behave yourself.'

Joey walks back to his pew,
and his friend Franco slides over and whispers,
'What'd you get?'

'Four months vacation and five good leads.
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
Users browsing this topic
Guest (3)
147 Pages«<115116117118119>»
Forum Jump  
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.

Copyright © 2024 Wazua.co.ke. All Rights Reserved.