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Manyala		#2241 Posted : Friday, February 28, 2014 12:31:32 PM
Rank: Member Joined: 11/8/2011 Posts: 482 Location: Nairobi		C&P Drinking and driving is extremely dangerous. On Sunday evening a friend of mine while driving put her arm out of the window to indicate that she was turning right and someone took her beer!
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butterflyke		#2242 Posted : Friday, February 28, 2014 12:40:03 PM
Rank: Elder Joined: 5/1/2010 Posts: 3,024 Location: Hapa		@4hourbliss, kweli leo ni furahiday two men walk into a bar a drunk walks into a bar Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. - Muhammad Ali🐝
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urstill1		#2243 Posted : Saturday, March 01, 2014 6:06:58 AM
Rank: User Joined: 9/6/2013 Posts: 1,446 Location: In a house		C & P A Canadian and a Jamaican walk into a supermarket. The Canadian steals 3 chocolate bars and puts in his pocket and when they left the store he said to the Jamaican "you see that? I stole three chocolate bars. nobody saw me. So thats magic and I am a magician," and the jamaican said " lets go back to the store, me ago show you who a the real magician". They went in and the jamaican said to the cashier " yuh want to see a magic trick?" the cashier said " sure" "hand me a chocolate bar" he ate it. "hand me another one" he ate that too, " hand me one more" and he ate it. "but sir where's the magic?" said the cashier. The jamaican man said "check the Canadian's pockets and yuh find all three chocolate bars "
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Magigi		#2244 Posted : Saturday, March 01, 2014 10:56:27 AM
Rank: Elder Joined: 3/31/2008 Posts: 7,081 Location: Kenya		A lady was in the delivery room starting to deliver her baby. As the head came out it was dark and had an afro. The doctor said, "Madam, have you ever slept with a black man?" "Well, yes, but only once." "Once is all it takes" he replied. Then the torso came out and it was yellow. "Madam, have you ever slept with an oriental man?" "Well, yes" she said, "but only once." "Once is all it takes," he said. When the legs came out they were red. The doctor asked her if she had ever slept with an Indian. "Well, yes" she said, "but only once." "Once is all it takes," he said. He finally pulled the baby all the way out and held it upside down and slapped its bottom to make it cry. As it started to cry the woman exclaimed "Oh, thank God, at least it doesn't bark!"
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4lourBliss		#2245 Posted : Saturday, March 01, 2014 3:35:15 PM
Rank: Member Joined: 5/9/2013 Posts: 285 Location: hapakule.		Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.
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4lourBliss		#2246 Posted : Saturday, March 01, 2014 3:50:18 PM
Rank: Member Joined: 5/9/2013 Posts: 285 Location: hapakule.		Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.
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McReggae		#2247 Posted : Friday, March 07, 2014 9:48:33 AM
Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi		STOLEN----->>>>>> DEAR LADIES! IF YOUR BOYFIE IS A JALUO...NEVER LET HIM ANSWER YOUR PHONE ON YOUR BEHALF NO MATTER THE CIRCUMSTANCES* ONYANGO: Njeri, your cellular gadget has intercepted some electromagnetic waves and is currently summoning your attention NJERI: Ati? ONYANGO: Simu yako kwisalia. Mtu anapigia wewe sahu NJERI: Bado niko kwa shower sweety, please receive it for me ONYANGO: Hallo…. ...CALLER: Njeri..eh, weko? Ne mwigithania ne ikomi na emwe ONYANGO: Your lingual is foreign to my cochlea. Please utter alphabets in a universal manner so that I can derive sense from this dialogue CALLER: Kwani Njeri yuko wapi? ONYANGO: Njeri is currently interacting with a hot shower in my master bedroom that is located at the artic section of my bungalow. She cannot commence dialogue with you as her phone is not water proof like the one I own which can receive calls even while am submerged in my marbled jaccuzi CALLER: Wewe ni nani? ONYANGO: Yawaa do you have air-time of 2,000 shillings and above? Any airtime below that amount is not enough to permit me to finish explaining to you who I am via the phone as my accolades are too numerous. But to comprehend me better, visit any booksop near you and purchase a book titled “Knowing Professor Onyango, the individual with PHDs whose number exceeds the mythical lives of a cat”..I authored it when I came back from the diaspora in the previous year CALLER: Nauliza wewe ni nani kwa Njeri? ONYANGO: I am the individual whom Njeri surrenders to her fauna in absentia of clothing….. CALLER: Ati umesema nini? ONYANGO: Yes, I am the individual who relays copulative sensations to Njeri’s pelvic areas CALLER: Auwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, ati umesema nini? ONYANGO: I am the individual who exposes Njeri’s lower limbs to mirror an obtuse angle, yawaaa. Mimi ndio boyfriend yake jowaa. And who are you? CALLER: Ngai fafa….. umeharibu mtoto wangu. Mimi ni mamake Njeri…. ONYANGO: Ohh, I was talking to my designated mother-in-law, yawaa. Please ooze pardon towards my manners madam and permit me to introduce myself properly…. I am the homo-sapien currently in pursuit of your daughters’ genitalias with an aim of detaining her matrimonially.... ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Swenani		#2248 Posted : Friday, March 07, 2014 7:49:35 PM
Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,236 Location: Vacuum		This is a touching story please forward it to all your contacts. A small boy saw a dead cat on his way home from school. Overwhelmed by emotions, he went close to the cat and touched it. He touched it again. He touched it again, and again and again. He could not stop touching it. On and on he went on touching it. Anyway like I said it's a touching story. If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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Pedes		#2249 Posted : Friday, March 07, 2014 7:53:46 PM
Rank: Member Joined: 9/30/2013 Posts: 659		Swenani wrote: This is a touching story please forward it to all your contacts. A small boy saw a dead cat on his way home from school. Overwhelmed by emotions, he went close to the cat and touched it. He touched it again. He touched it again, and again and again. He could not stop touching it. On and on he went on touching it. Anyway like I said it's a touching story. Msenjiiiii If you stay ready, no need to get ready.
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Swenani		#2250 Posted : Friday, March 07, 2014 8:05:31 PM
Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,236 Location: Vacuum		HAPA NDIO FREE EDUCATION IMEFIKA Name: Peter Kamau Mariga School: Magina pri. class: 5 Composition Topic : My family My family has many people. My father, my mother, my sister,my sister,my sister another, me and brother who follows me. The one who is old is called njeri but she beat us and say we call her tresi. she has started seeing her self from wen she wented to secondary school. The other sister is njoki and that another is ciru .Both two of them are of std 6. Njeri is the one who is old infront of njoki but she returnd class 6 again. I am the one following njoki . my name is Mariga . other hours my father call me grandfather in kikuyu . I feel many pain because my grandfather was called and I rememba him. my grandmother was called early when I was not borne. Then the one who follows me is kimani . he is small boy and has not started to go. it is now he is teaching himself to talk and beats a lot of noise which I refuse to know what he say. the house of my father arrives there!!! If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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washiku		#2251 Posted : Friday, March 07, 2014 10:47:13 PM
Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095		Swenani wrote: HAPA NDIO FREE EDUCATION IMEFIKA Name: Peter Kamau Mariga School: Magina pri. class: 5 Composition Topic : My family My family has many people. My father, my mother, my sister,my sister,my sister another, me and brother who follows me. The one who is old is called njeri but she beat us and say we call her tresi. she has started seeing her self from wen she wented to secondary school. The other sister is njoki and that another is ciru .Both two of them are of std 6. Njeri is the one who is old infront of njoki but she returnd class 6 again. I am the one following njoki . my name is Mariga . other hours my father call me grandfather in kikuyu . I feel many pain because my grandfather was called and I rememba him. my grandmother was called early when I was not borne. Then the one who follows me is kimani . he is small boy and has not started to go. it is now he is teaching himself to talk and beats a lot of noise which I refuse to know what he say. the house of my father arrives there!!! A needy child's education depends on you. Click here to assist
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Rankaz13		#2252 Posted : Saturday, March 08, 2014 8:58:34 AM
Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here		Pedes wrote: Swenani wrote: This is a touching story please forward it to all your contacts. A small boy saw a dead cat on his way home from school. Overwhelmed by emotions, he went close to the cat and touched it. He touched it again. He touched it again, and again and again. He could not stop touching it. On and on he went on touching it. Anyway like I said it's a touching story. Msenjiiiii Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
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Rankaz13		#2253 Posted : Saturday, March 08, 2014 9:01:04 AM
Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here		Swenani wrote: HAPA NDIO FREE EDUCATION IMEFIKA Name: Peter Kamau Mariga School: Magina pri. class: 5 Composition Topic : My family My family has many people. My father, my mother, my sister,my sister,my sister another, me and brother who follows me. The one who is old is called njeri but she beat us and say we call her tresi. she has started seeing her self from wen she wented to secondary school. The other sister is njoki and that another is ciru .Both two of them are of std 6. Njeri is the one who is old infront of njoki but she returnd class 6 again. I am the one following njoki . my name is Mariga . other hours my father call me grandfather in kikuyu . I feel many pain because my grandfather was called and I rememba him. my grandmother was called early when I was not borne. Then the one who follows me is kimani . he is small boy and has not started to go. it is now he is teaching himself to talk and beats a lot of noise which I refuse to know what he say. the house of my father arrives there!!! Si mlisema lower primary wafunzwe kwa lugha ya mama? Ona sasa This is what happens when wanjohi wa kigogoini is your teacher Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
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radio		#2254 Posted : Saturday, March 08, 2014 9:11:45 AM
Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/9/2009 Posts: 2,003		Swenani wrote: HAPA NDIO FREE EDUCATION IMEFIKA Name: Peter Kamau Mariga School: Magina pri. class: 5 Composition Topic : My family My family has many people. My father, my mother, my sister,my sister,my sister another, me and brother who follows me. The one who is old is called njeri but she beat us and say we call her tresi. she has started seeing her self from wen she wented to secondary school. The other sister is njoki and that another is ciru .Both two of them are of std 6. Njeri is the one who is old infront of njoki but she returnd class 6 again. I am the one following njoki . my name is Mariga . other hours my father call me grandfather in kikuyu . I feel many pain because my grandfather was called and I rememba him. my grandmother was called early when I was not borne. Then the one who follows me is kimani . he is small boy and has not started to go. it is now he is teaching himself to talk and beats a lot of noise which I refuse to know what he say. the house of my father arrives there!!! Nyumba ya baba witu yakinya hau!
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danas10		#2255 Posted : Saturday, March 08, 2014 12:57:04 PM
Rank: Member Joined: 10/8/2010 Posts: 763 Location: Intersection		radio wrote: Swenani wrote: HAPA NDIO FREE EDUCATION IMEFIKA Name: Peter Kamau Mariga School: Magina pri. class: 5 Composition Topic : My family My family has many people. My father, my mother, my sister,my sister,my sister another, me and brother who follows me. The one who is old is called njeri but she beat us and say we call her tresi. she has started seeing her self from wen she wented to secondary school. The other sister is njoki and that another is ciru .Both two of them are of std 6. Njeri is the one who is old infront of njoki but she returnd class 6 again. I am the one following njoki . my name is Mariga . other hours my father call me grandfather in kikuyu . I feel many pain because my grandfather was called and I rememba him. my grandmother was called early when I was not borne. Then the one who follows me is kimani . he is small boy and has not started to go. it is now he is teaching himself to talk and beats a lot of noise which I refuse to know what he say. the house of my father arrives there!!! Nyumba ya baba witu yakinya hau!
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kangi		#2256 Posted : Saturday, March 08, 2014 4:51:03 PM
Rank: Member Joined: 7/23/2009 Posts: 526		danas10 wrote: radio wrote: Swenani wrote: HAPA NDIO FREE EDUCATION IMEFIKA Name: Peter Kamau Mariga School: Magina pri. class: 5 Composition Topic : My family My family has many people. My father, my mother, my sister,my sister,my sister another, me and brother who follows me. The one who is old is called njeri but she beat us and say we call her tresi. she has started seeing her self from wen she wented to secondary school. The other sister is njoki and that another is ciru .Both two of them are of std 6. Njeri is the one who is old infront of njoki but she returnd class 6 again. I am the one following njoki . my name is Mariga . other hours my father call me grandfather in kikuyu . I feel many pain because my grandfather was called and I rememba him. my grandmother was called early when I was not borne. Then the one who follows me is kimani . he is small boy and has not started to go. it is now he is teaching himself to talk and beats a lot of noise which I refuse to know what he say. the house of my father arrives there!!! Nyumba ya baba witu yakinya hau! reminds me at one time when I was showing my son my sisters photos and explaining that huyu ndiyo sister yangu ambaye ananifuata, then he asked me, kwani ulikuwa unaenda? Accept no one's definition of your life; define your life.
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kysse		#2257 Posted : Saturday, March 08, 2014 4:55:47 PM
Rank: Elder Joined: 1/17/2013 Posts: 4,693 Location: Earth		woishe.
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washiku		#2258 Posted : Saturday, March 08, 2014 5:39:38 PM
Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095		kangi wrote: danas10 wrote: radio wrote: Swenani wrote: HAPA NDIO FREE EDUCATION IMEFIKA Name: Peter Kamau Mariga School: Magina pri. class: 5 Composition Topic : My family My family has many people. My father, my mother, my sister,my sister,my sister another, me and brother who follows me. The one who is old is called njeri but she beat us and say we call her tresi. she has started seeing her self from wen she wented to secondary school. The other sister is njoki and that another is ciru .Both two of them are of std 6. Njeri is the one who is old infront of njoki but she returnd class 6 again. I am the one following njoki . my name is Mariga . other hours my father call me grandfather in kikuyu . I feel many pain because my grandfather was called and I rememba him. my grandmother was called early when I was not borne. Then the one who follows me is kimani . he is small boy and has not started to go. it is now he is teaching himself to talk and beats a lot of noise which I refuse to know what he say. the house of my father arrives there!!! Nyumba ya baba witu yakinya hau! reminds me at one time when I was showing my son my sisters photos and explaining that huyu ndiyo sister yangu ambaye ananifuata, then he asked me, kwani ulikuwa unaenda? A needy child's education depends on you. Click here to assist
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washiku		#2259 Posted : Friday, March 14, 2014 10:48:33 PM
Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095		1.Mutura: is a Kenyan delicacy resembling sausages, it is also what people in Nyeri used to call the late Education Minister the late Mutula Kilonzo 2. To you, Mascara may be make up but to a Luhya it means many cigarettes. 3. Marijuana is a drug but to the Kikuyus it also means they knew each other. 4. The Hobbit is a movie but to the Kambas it is a chewing gum. 5. Ukali means bitter or harshness but to a Luhya it's food. 6. Federer is a tennis player but to Kikuyus it also means a flag. 7. L is a letter in the alphabet but to Kambas it is also the place where sinners will go. 8. Choice is not only an option but to the Kisii it's a girl's name. 9. Bull is the male species of a cow but to a Kalenjin it's also a place where people like Dunford swim. 10. Sack is a bag type used for luggage but our Luo friends unmistakably enigmaticaly with utmost flamboyance know it's a sea mammal with sharp teeth. 11. Hyundai is a car and it's what happens when you take poison in Ukambani. 12. Sota in sheng means to be broke but to the Luhya it's a beverage. 13. Yana is a tyre brand but to the Kambas it means yesterday. 14. Paper is writing material but to Kisiis it means to carry [beba] 16. Parrot to Kisiis is not only a bird, but the box we used to cast our votes into at the March 4th General Election. 17. Chuka is a town in Meru county but to the Nyeri people it means to "alight"! 18.Papa is not only the Pope or the shark but also Swahili for father as per the Luhyas. 19. Bomboo is a kaya among the miji kenda but to Kalenjins its means Form four.. 20. KARI is an agricultural research institute in Kenya but its simply a car to most Kalenjins A needy child's education depends on you. Click here to assist
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Coolio		#2260 Posted : Friday, March 14, 2014 10:58:24 PM
Rank: Elder Joined: 10/28/2008 Posts: 2,276 Location: Kibish		Uuuuuuuuuiiiii who is watching the trend? crazy Kenyans behind xyzee!!! Nadondosha meli kubwa seuze ngalawa!
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