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Children born out of wedlock
Rank: Elder Joined: 6/19/2008 Posts: 4,268
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If you get a child with a galfriend that you do not intend to marry and you want to be involved in the child's life, and since you are not married, you help the child while with the mother, what happens when you get married? Do they take them home (kwa bibi), abandon and disown, continue helping the kid without your wife's knowledge? It's easy for women, they show up with the kid anyway but there are also communities where women do not go with their kids? in such cases, as a husband, would you allow your wife to continue helping the child while in the other man's house? Would you allow the kid to be coming to your house for visits then goes back to the father? Assuming the father is having difficulties paying school fees for this kid, would you chip in? As who? In the event it is you staying with the kid and you arent able to pay school fees for the kid would you accept the other man to bail you out?
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Rank: Member Joined: 3/12/2008 Posts: 215
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Wendz wrote:If you get a child with a galfriend that you do not intend to marry and you want to be involved in the child's life, and since you are not married, you help the child while with the mother, what happens when you get married? Do they take them home (kwa bibi), abandon and disown, continue helping the kid without your wife's knowledge? It's easy for women, they show up with the kid anyway but there are also communities where women do not go with their kids? in such cases, as a husband, would you allow your wife to continue helping the child while in the other man's house? Would you allow the kid to be coming to your house for visits then goes back to the father? Assuming the father is having difficulties paying school fees for this kid, would you chip in? As who? In the event it is you staying with the kid and you arent able to pay school fees for the kid would you accept the other man to bail you out? Cucu, don’t tell us that you are into these kinds of problems  I do not want to laugh at you though coz “Rwi itara ruthekaga rwi riko”
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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/9/2009 Posts: 6,592 Location: Nairobi
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The truth is no man wants to have attachments with the other man. Better she comes with the kid because she'll never be complete with the kid on the other side. Most me, if they love you will take the lady and the kid together but will not marry a lady under such arrangement. It's dishonorable.
BBI will solve it :)
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/19/2008 Posts: 4,268
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kimiri wrote:Wendz wrote:If you get a child with a galfriend that you do not intend to marry and you want to be involved in the child's life, and since you are not married, you help the child while with the mother, what happens when you get married? Do they take them home (kwa bibi), abandon and disown, continue helping the kid without your wife's knowledge? It's easy for women, they show up with the kid anyway but there are also communities where women do not go with their kids? in such cases, as a husband, would you allow your wife to continue helping the child while in the other man's house? Would you allow the kid to be coming to your house for visits then goes back to the father? Assuming the father is having difficulties paying school fees for this kid, would you chip in? As who? In the event it is you staying with the kid and you arent able to pay school fees for the kid would you accept the other man to bail you out? Cucu, don’t tell us that you are into these kinds of problems I do not want to laugh at you though coz “Rwi itara ruthekaga rwi riko” No. not at all. But there is someone we are in disagreement with because he has a kid whom he was helping when he was not married but and did not tell the girlfriend, now wife and he feels so guilty about it and doesnt want the wife to know.... the lady(who got he got the kid with has since gotten married) but they arent doing too well... so I actually dont know if to advise to help and how that would affect his and the other guy's family.... the guy is not soo badly off so he can manage to give the kid better education if nothing else. Was just wondering what people do or if anyone knows of a similar situation and how it was handled....
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/11/2012 Posts: 5,222
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There are men who feel nothing. They'll father kids and not worry about what happens to them. If anything the kid becomes a 'trophy'. You might have heard someone joke 'I have XYZ kids out there'. I wonder if there are lawyers who sort out such men?
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/20/2009 Posts: 1,402
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Wendz wrote:kimiri wrote:Wendz wrote:If you get a child with a galfriend that you do not intend to marry and you want to be involved in the child's life, and since you are not married, you help the child while with the mother, what happens when you get married? Do they take them home (kwa bibi), abandon and disown, continue helping the kid without your wife's knowledge? It's easy for women, they show up with the kid anyway but there are also communities where women do not go with their kids? in such cases, as a husband, would you allow your wife to continue helping the child while in the other man's house? Would you allow the kid to be coming to your house for visits then goes back to the father? Assuming the father is having difficulties paying school fees for this kid, would you chip in? As who? In the event it is you staying with the kid and you arent able to pay school fees for the kid would you accept the other man to bail you out? Cucu, don’t tell us that you are into these kinds of problems I do not want to laugh at you though coz “Rwi itara ruthekaga rwi riko” No. not at all. But there is someone we are in disagreement with because he has a kid whom he was helping when he was not married but and did not tell the girlfriend, now wife and he feels so guilty about it and doesnt want the wife to know.... the lady(who got he got the kid with has since gotten married) but they arent doing too well... so I actually dont know if to advise to help and how that would affect his and the other guy's family.... the guy is not soo badly off so he can manage to give the kid better education if nothing else. Was just wondering what people do or if anyone knows of a similar situation and how it was handled.... wondering as a man..You get a baby, you marry someone else other than your baby mama, your baby mama gets married by a dude who isnt doing well.. and you still not sure if to help your baby with an education if nothing else?... ndingoingo!!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/11/2012 Posts: 5,222
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Wendz wrote:kimiri wrote:Wendz wrote:If you get a child with a galfriend that you do not intend to marry and you want to be involved in the child's life, and since you are not married, you help the child while with the mother, what happens when you get married? Do they take them home (kwa bibi), abandon and disown, continue helping the kid without your wife's knowledge? It's easy for women, they show up with the kid anyway but there are also communities where women do not go with their kids? in such cases, as a husband, would you allow your wife to continue helping the child while in the other man's house? Would you allow the kid to be coming to your house for visits then goes back to the father? Assuming the father is having difficulties paying school fees for this kid, would you chip in? As who? In the event it is you staying with the kid and you arent able to pay school fees for the kid would you accept the other man to bail you out? Cucu, don’t tell us that you are into these kinds of problems I do not want to laugh at you though coz “Rwi itara ruthekaga rwi riko” No. not at all. But there is someone we are in disagreement with because he has a kid whom he was helping when he was not married but and did not tell the girlfriend, now wife and he feels so guilty about it and doesnt want the wife to know.... the lady(who got he got the kid with has since gotten married) but they arent doing too well... so I actually dont know if to advise to help and how that would affect his and the other guy's family.... the guy is not soo badly off so he can manage to give the kid better education if nothing else. Was just wondering what people do or if anyone knows of a similar situation and how it was handled.... Ask him if he'd mind if roles were reversed and the wife did that to him? The truth always sets one free!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,334 Location: Masada
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Please tell the mother of the shaod to accept the circumstances and move on. Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.
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Rank: Member Joined: 5/7/2010 Posts: 282 Location: Nairobi
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Mukiri wrote:Wendz wrote:kimiri wrote:Wendz wrote:If you get a child with a galfriend that you do not intend to marry and you want to be involved in the child's life, and since you are not married, you help the child while with the mother, what happens when you get married? Do they take them home (kwa bibi), abandon and disown, continue helping the kid without your wife's knowledge? It's easy for women, they show up with the kid anyway but there are also communities where women do not go with their kids? in such cases, as a husband, would you allow your wife to continue helping the child while in the other man's house? Would you allow the kid to be coming to your house for visits then goes back to the father? Assuming the father is having difficulties paying school fees for this kid, would you chip in? As who? In the event it is you staying with the kid and you arent able to pay school fees for the kid would you accept the other man to bail you out? Cucu, don’t tell us that you are into these kinds of problems I do not want to laugh at you though coz “Rwi itara ruthekaga rwi riko” No. not at all. But there is someone we are in disagreement with because he has a kid whom he was helping when he was not married but and did not tell the girlfriend, now wife and he feels so guilty about it and doesnt want the wife to know.... the lady(who got he got the kid with has since gotten married) but they arent doing too well... so I actually dont know if to advise to help and how that would affect his and the other guy's family.... the guy is not soo badly off so he can manage to give the kid better education if nothing else. Was just wondering what people do or if anyone knows of a similar situation and how it was handled.... Ask him if he'd mind if roles were reversed and the wife did that to him? The truth always sets one free! DITTO
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/20/2009 Posts: 1,402
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Impunity wrote:Please tell the mother of the shaod to accept the circumstances and move on.
..accept and move on? like ask the baby father for help 
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