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can todays marriage be happy marriage?
'user'
#1 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 11:31:16 AM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 12/3/2010
Posts: 1,141
Location: Londokwe
Who is happily married here?
Who met his dream wife or husband? no matusis , full of respect madharau dogo dogo hakuna.
The stories i hear from people make me wonder if there is anything like a happy marriage
2012 is here.Kenya is Ours.Be Part of The Peace Keeping Mission To Protect Our Motherland.Say No To Violence and Tribal Hatred .If you can read this,wewe ni mtu amesoma, usifikirie kama mtu hajaenda shule .Ni Hayo Tu
For Sport
#2 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 11:35:26 AM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 12/23/2010
Posts: 1,229
There are many accidents on the road.
You dont however lock yourself in your house and say you'll not go anywhere because there might be an accident.
You will hear horror stories and success stories but life doesnt allow you to use anyone's story to decide, or even get a peek at how yours will turn out.
famooz
#3 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 11:50:33 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/19/2007
Posts: 2,047
@ User, i saw a post on someones FB wall that was asking pretty much what you are asking.I see/ hear alot of scepticism where marriage is concerned and it is easy to think that no marriages out there work. But like @ For Sport says, life does not allow anyone to use someone else's story to decide- this is because no marriage is teh same.

To answer you,i think that there are many happy marriages out there- not perfect but happy. But most of these that i know are christians,and they try to live their marriages the biblical way- and i can say they are happy,not perfect people,but they are perfect for each other........
bwenyenye
#4 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 11:52:35 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/24/2007
Posts: 1,805
'user' wrote:
Who is happily married here?
Who met his dream wife or husband? no matusis , full of respect madharau dogo dogo hakuna.
The stories i hear from people make me wonder if there is anything like a happy marriage


I am happily married. Not a perfect person though! Neither I'm I perfect. But I am happy in my marriage.Very happy I can say after 10 years.
I Think Therefore I Am
famooz
#5 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 11:54:14 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/19/2007
Posts: 2,047
bwenyenye wrote:
'user' wrote:
Who is happily married here?
Who met his dream wife or husband? no matusis , full of respect madharau dogo dogo hakuna.
The stories i hear from people make me wonder if there is anything like a happy marriage


I am happily married. Not a perfect person though! Neither I'm I perfect. But I am happy in my marriage.Very happy I can say after 10 years.



@ bwanyenye,what can you say is the secret to your happiness?
'user'
#6 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 12:00:38 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 12/3/2010
Posts: 1,141
Location: Londokwe
bwenyenye wrote:
'user' wrote:
Who is happily married here?
Who met his dream wife or husband? no matusis , full of respect madharau dogo dogo hakuna.
The stories i hear from people make me wonder if there is anything like a happy marriage


I am happily married. Not a perfect person though! Neither I'm I perfect. But I am happy in my marriage.Very happy I can say after 10 years.


I envy you if you are honest.

Ive been married for over 6 years but sometimes I get some triggers that can make me say enough is enough, somehow , through the Neema ya bwana , we have stuck together.

But sometimes I feel that nothing like love exist in marriage , It's just interests .Such Interests make you stay together.

Sometimes we are very happy , others we are almost exchanging blows , I think this is not what marriage was meant to be .Weren't it made to be happily there after?

Kwanza mabibi wamesoma na wenye kazi !!! bad news they can make you go mad.

Kama hujaoa , go to the village get mmoja amemaliza form 4, uzimzoeshe Nai asichanuke , wacha hakae kulekuleeee
2012 is here.Kenya is Ours.Be Part of The Peace Keeping Mission To Protect Our Motherland.Say No To Violence and Tribal Hatred .If you can read this,wewe ni mtu amesoma, usifikirie kama mtu hajaenda shule .Ni Hayo Tu
bwenyenye
#7 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 12:04:12 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/24/2007
Posts: 1,805
famooz wrote:
bwenyenye wrote:
'user' wrote:
Who is happily married here?
Who met his dream wife or husband? no matusis , full of respect madharau dogo dogo hakuna.
The stories i hear from people make me wonder if there is anything like a happy marriage


I am happily married. Not a perfect person though! Neither I'm I perfect. But I am happy in my marriage.Very happy I can say after 10 years.



@ bwanyenye,what can you say is the secret to your happiness?


Realising that She is the right one for me despite her imperfections. Realising that I too am not perfect and so learn to accept the other person as they are. Realising that she is actually doing her best to keep this thing happy and going. Realising that I too have a part to play in keeping this relationship going. By the way, the interesting thing is that, I have realised these things when we have hit rough patches: and rough they have been to the point of almost asking her to leave my house.

They say that in hindsight, vision is 20/20. I have chosen to celebrate the times now.
I Think Therefore I Am
Njung'e
#8 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 12:22:12 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/7/2007
Posts: 11,935
Location: Nairobi
@User,
Your marriage is still very young and hopefully,as you go along things will improve.I have been in it for long but i can attest to the fact that our marriage is much happier than it was 15 years ago.I can't remember the last time we quarrelled even though it used to be so frequent then.
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
famooz
#9 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 12:44:10 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/19/2007
Posts: 2,047
Njung'e wrote:
@User,
Your marriage is still very young and hopefully,as you go along things will improve.I have been in it for long but i can attest to the fact that our marriage is much happier than it was 15 years ago.I can't remember the last time we quarrelled even though it used to be so frequent then.




hehehee this is a very sober response from Guka

A bwanyenye,congrats!
Buster
#10 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 1:00:53 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 5/17/2007
Posts: 1,345
16 Years now with BIIIG problems along the way. But the last 5 Years have been very good. I can say we understand each other better now. If you see us at a Club you wud think we fell in love yesterday.
carygoh
#11 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 1:02:46 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/4/2008
Posts: 1,703
'user' wrote:
Who is happily married here?
Who met his dream wife or husband? no matusis , full of respect madharau dogo dogo hakuna.
The stories i hear from people make me wonder if there is anything like a happy marriage


i wouldnt know much about this but i think its basically tolerance
Think Positive Test Negative
K22
#12 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 1:42:26 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 9/12/2008
Posts: 436
Location: illobi
Most people especially when dating pretend alot. They try and use all means possible to impress each other.

Once married, true colours start to manifest and thats where disappointment begins.

Others get into marriage while in denial. They hope that once married they can 'change & mould' their spouse into perfect persons. This rarely happens

Another class of people are those who get married for wrong reasons eg because their peers, agemates, school mate are wedding, they also join the bandwagon...

Others get married too young and only realise after 5-10 years they missed out enjoying their spinster/bachelor days.... most of the time they will try to catch up....

Marriage is not easy, but it can be BLISS if you have the right partner by your side.....





A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man
vinii
#13 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 2:06:43 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/14/2009
Posts: 2,057
..to minimise chances of meeting the wrong gal, pse dont fall in love in a pub, tafuta kanisani..
If you are an eagle don't hang around with chickens; chickens don't fly....
carygoh
#14 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 2:10:29 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/4/2008
Posts: 1,703
vinii wrote:
..to minimise chances of meeting the wrong gal, pse dont fall in love in a pub, tafuta kanisani..


kanisani is even worse ...as tory is told of man who pretended to be saved and married a lady only after the wedding the guy went out and drunk ile mbaya ......the point alikuwa amenoki manzi na lazima angempata liwe luiwalo evn if means lying in the name of the lord
Think Positive Test Negative
'user'
#15 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 2:10:56 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 12/3/2010
Posts: 1,141
Location: Londokwe
Facing a contentious woman soberly can kill you. Na bei ya beer imepanda.Kwisa
2012 is here.Kenya is Ours.Be Part of The Peace Keeping Mission To Protect Our Motherland.Say No To Violence and Tribal Hatred .If you can read this,wewe ni mtu amesoma, usifikirie kama mtu hajaenda shule .Ni Hayo Tu
MaichBlack
#16 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 3:31:36 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/22/2009
Posts: 7,452
carygoh wrote:
vinii wrote:
..to minimise chances of meeting the wrong gal, pse dont fall in love in a pub, tafuta kanisani..


kanisani is even worse ...as tory is told of man who pretended to be saved and married a lady only after the wedding the guy went out and drunk ile mbaya ......the point alikuwa amenoki manzi na lazima angempata liwe luiwalo evn if means lying in the name of the lord

Seconded!!!

Church is one of the worst places to get a wife. Here is what happens.

Girl joins campus. Girl sleeps with everyone in campus in the first and second year. In third year [and forth year], girl decides it's time to get paid. Most nights she can be found shouting "darling, darling..." along Koinange street. Girl graduates. Quite a number of A's - same as the number of lecturers she slept with. Girl gets job - though she was not as good as the other interviewees - you know how that happened. Girl starts living the fast life. No longer at Koinange - may be. But she still supplements her income with "corporate clients". Time is moving. No boyfriend. No husband. Friends married. Oh what did "I" do? What to do? Off to church. May "I" should join the choir. Boy goes to church. Meets beautiful lady. Has a good 'education'. Gainfully employed. Even in the church choir. Wedding bells. A happy 6 months. Maybe one year. Girl gets bored. money not 'enough'. "We" are not 'happening'. Back to "corporate clients". Boy gets depressed. Discovers Tusker baridi. Demand for beer increase. Prices rise. EABL makes more money. Share price rises. Investor gets more dividends. Oops. I should have stopped at boy discovers Tusker baridi.

Okay, maybe this is in extreme cases. But you get my drift.

Disclaimer: I am not implying that all our sisters or university students or our sisters in the church or choir fall in this category. There are some nice ones - who might actually be the majority - but good luck telling them apart.
Never count on making a good sale. Have the purchase price be so attractive that even a mediocre sale gives good returns.
bwenyenye
#17 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 3:43:44 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/24/2007
Posts: 1,805
At the risk of stoning, sometimes I think that arranged marriages are better. At that stage in life, one can hardly make the right decisions. Why not leave it to someone who understands you much better than yourself? i.e your parents, uncles and aunties. They also know the family of the 'husi'well. For now, I think I can tell quite well who can make a beter choise for my kidz. Kuna watu siwezi kubali purely based on their personality.

A disclaimer: I have assumed that your parenst have your best interests at heart.
I Think Therefore I Am
2012
#18 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 4:00:03 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 12/9/2009
Posts: 6,592
Location: Nairobi
Unreal expectations are what kill marriages.

Before you get married, you'll think you husband or wife to be is a very intelligent and very caring person who understands you fully. Wrong! You only think that because you are looking for someone like you. If you're a woman looking for a man who best fits the description in Lionel Richie songs then marry another woman after all isn't Lionel Richie divorced for like a couple of times?

When you marry a woman, always remember that you married a woman so don't get shocked when she will act and behave like one. And for women don't get shocked when the man you married behaves like a man ie forgets not just your birthday but other things too like you waiting outside 20th Century...

But let's be honest, the biggest problem we men have is lying - not cheating but lying.

BBI will solve it
:)
carygoh
#19 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 4:30:18 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/4/2008
Posts: 1,703
2012 wrote:
Unreal expectations are what kill marriages.

Before you get married, you'll think you husband or wife to be is a very intelligent and very caring person who understands you fully. Wrong! You only think that because you are looking for someone like you. If you're a woman looking for a man who best fits the description in Lionel Richie songs then marry another woman after all isn't Lionel Richie divorced for like a couple of times?

When you marry a woman, always remember that you married a woman so don't get shocked when she will act and behave like one. And for women don't get shocked when the man you married behaves like a man ie forgets not just your birthday but other things too like you waiting outside 20th Century...

But let's be honest, the biggest problem we men have is lying - not cheating but lying.

Applause Applause Applause true
Think Positive Test Negative
Dia
#20 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 4:45:53 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 3/30/2010
Posts: 176
'user' wrote:
Who is happily married here?
Who met his dream wife or husband? no matusis , full of respect madharau dogo dogo hakuna.
The stories i hear from people make me wonder if there is anything like a happy marriage


Happy marriages happen when the two parties are willing to work things out without selfishly thinking about their interests. Then you are able to put up with your partners small peeves as they do the same with you.

And yes, I'm happily married and working on having a thrilling marriage! smile
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