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147 Pages«<9596979899>»
Just for laughs...corner
nostoppingthis
#1921 Posted : Tuesday, December 03, 2013 10:36:42 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 8/24/2009
Posts: 5,909
Location: Nairobi
butterflyke wrote:
Dear Microsoft, If you had called your search engine Bang instead of Bing, you'd have destroyed Google. What would you rather say? "I just Googled Charlize Theron" or "I just Banged Charlize Theron"?


smile smile @Butterflyke, do you have a marketing background?
butterflyke
#1922 Posted : Thursday, December 05, 2013 8:46:46 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/1/2010
Posts: 3,024
Location: Hapa
A man driving carefully and a woman driving carelessly are in collision. Their cars are wrecked but they escape without injury. Miraculously, a bottle of wine remains unbroken in the woman’s car.

“Let’s drink to our survival,” she says, and hands the bottle to the man. He drains a good half and hands it back, but the woman replaces the cork. “Are you not going to drink?” he asks. “Nah,” she says, “I’ll just wait until the police arrive with their breathalyser

C&P
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. - Muhammad Ali🐝
butterflyke
#1923 Posted : Thursday, December 05, 2013 8:48:29 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/1/2010
Posts: 3,024
Location: Hapa
nostoppingthis wrote:
butterflyke wrote:
Dear Microsoft, If you had called your search engine Bang instead of Bing, you'd have destroyed Google. What would you rather say? "I just Googled Charlize Theron" or "I just Banged Charlize Theron"?


smile smile @Butterflyke, do you have a marketing background?


heheheh...nope

C&P
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. - Muhammad Ali🐝
brav
#1924 Posted : Thursday, December 05, 2013 12:22:48 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 11/26/2008
Posts: 745
C&P

A LETTER FROM A Mc-Mende MOTHER TO SON

Dear Son,

I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.

It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.

The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funderal bill, up she comes.

About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safery. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down.

Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.

Love, Ma
symbols
#1925 Posted : Thursday, December 05, 2013 10:36:31 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/19/2013
Posts: 2,552
washiku
#1926 Posted : Friday, December 06, 2013 9:44:57 AM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
"Ladies want a man who is 6 feet tall, has a 6 pack and earns 6 figure salary. ILLUMINATI!!!!!"
Birthright
#1927 Posted : Friday, December 06, 2013 1:00:59 PM
Rank: New-farer


Joined: 10/22/2012
Posts: 17
There was a millionaire, who collected live
alligators.
He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion.
The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who
was single.
One day he decides to throw a huge party, and
during the party he announces, "My dear
guests . . . I have a proposition to every man here.
I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the
man who can swim across this pool full of
alligators and emerge alive!"
As soon as he finished his last word, there was the
sound of a large splash! There was one guy in the
pool swimming with all he could and screaming out
of fear.
The crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking as
though he was running for his life. Finally, he made
it to the other side with only a torn shirt and some
minor injuries.
The millionaire was impressed. He said, "My boy
that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it
could be done! Well I must keep my end of the
bargain.
Do you want my daughter or the one million
dollars?"
The guy says, "Listen, I don't want your money, nor
do I want your daughter! I want the person who
pushed me in that water!"
Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
What if one day Google was deleted and we couldn't Google what happened to Google
washiku
#1928 Posted : Friday, December 06, 2013 11:29:16 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
If you don't know who Mandela is, please be silent. a girl just updated her status
Magigi
#1929 Posted : Saturday, December 07, 2013 6:58:50 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/31/2008
Posts: 7,081
Location: Kenya
washiku
#1930 Posted : Tuesday, December 10, 2013 1:21:11 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
When a Kamba says "Muli amepaint" do you look at the wall or call an ambulance?
washiku
#1931 Posted : Tuesday, December 10, 2013 1:23:10 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
This is how a civilised lady
texts you :

"Hi honey. I'm just out of
class,
heading for lunch now. Wish
I could see you today and
even buy you lunch. Take
care,good day and love
you. Don't forget to pray."

Sasa hiki ni kile kiwaruwaru kiako kenye kinakuibia tu!:

"Xwiwie aki i mixx u xow
muh!!Nimekuhatar kama
Mahatma Gandhi Laughing out loudlyest!!
aki xi u kam buy me n ma
galfwends pixzza??
Pweety pweez?? I mixs u
xanar xanar! Alxo kam na
credo ya airtel ya 50, ya xaf
ya mbao na uninunulie
simcard ya yu pale ngara.
Luv u hun...
I lurv u xo xo muxx!! XOXO.
XXX. LOL. LMAO. LMFAO.
YMCMB. CORD. NTV. RBK.
KEBS. CCK. GHC. IEBC. UN.
washiku
#1932 Posted : Tuesday, December 10, 2013 1:29:29 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
Prove how bad cheating is: Mandela was able to forgive those who oppressed and jailed him for 27 years,but was never able to forgive his wife winnie for cheating on him
ZZE123
#1933 Posted : Tuesday, December 10, 2013 1:32:11 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/21/2008
Posts: 2,490
washiku wrote:
When a Kamba says "Muli amepaint" do you look at the wall or call an ambulance?

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
The man who marries a beautiful woman, and the farmer who grows corn by the roadside have the same problem
washiku
#1934 Posted : Tuesday, December 10, 2013 1:40:09 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
Robert Mugabe stated yesterday

"I want people of Africa to treat me the same way they treated Nelson Mandela"

Morgan Tsavangirai immediately responded

"What a great idea.Let's start with 27 years in jail"
washiku
#1935 Posted : Tuesday, December 10, 2013 1:41:50 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
Mukiri
#1936 Posted : Tuesday, December 10, 2013 3:13:49 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/11/2012
Posts: 5,222
ZZE123 wrote:
washiku wrote:
When a Kamba says "Muli amepaint" do you look at the wall or call an ambulance?

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly (h)adi nime-veint

Proverbs 19:21
sorovi
#1937 Posted : Tuesday, December 10, 2013 5:40:39 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 8/3/2007
Posts: 146
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault." smile smile
kysse
#1938 Posted : Tuesday, December 10, 2013 8:24:12 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 1/17/2013
Posts: 4,693
Location: Earth
Grew up among these guys. love the intergration of languages.perfect.smile

washiku
#1939 Posted : Wednesday, December 11, 2013 8:36:37 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
Graca Machel you married samora he died,you then married Nelson Mandela he is now dead NOW if you could pliz marry Mugabe. .........the people of zimbabwe would be happy
washiku
#1940 Posted : Wednesday, December 11, 2013 8:38:12 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
Be very careful on what u ask from God:
A man prayed to God and asked Him to give him a biiig car and to be surrounded by beautiful girls. After afew years, God answered his prayer and today he is a bus driver in a girls' school....!
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