Mohamed DIDA has urged his supporters to remain calm and assures them that the results from his
strongholds have not yet
arrived.

Peter KENETH has conceded defeat saying that, Tukiendelea Hivi
TunawesFAINT.....

FATHER: son, did u receive a text confirming your KCSE results
SON: yes dad, i got it last week
FATHER: ohh good why didn't u tell me what u got?
... SON: dad, coz those are still provisional results, they are not very accurate
FATHER: ok, so what did you get son?
SON: dad, u do know that provisional results received by electronic means, somebody can tamper with it b4 u receive it
FATHER: son, you are not answering my question, what did you get?
SON: dad, i think someone hacked my SMS feed.
FATHER: i will not ask u one more time, mama nani, leta kiboko
SON: chill, chill dad. the SMS implied that i got an E but its still too early to call, meaning it can change dad, it can change coz my stronghold subjects r not in yet!!

C&P

Julie : Why did THE CHICKEN cross the road??

DIDA: Its about time we started teaching Chicken the values of NOT crossing roads. Its better to stay on one side of the road than the other. Suppose it was knocked down by a speeding car! What would it have said? Thats the kind of Chicken that would vote for Waititu.

KIYAPI: It depends with WHERE the chicken was going. Crossing the road is NOT the end of the story. I resigned from the Education Ministry to fight for the rights of Everyone! Chickens included! If a chicken wants to cross the road,let it cross the road! Thats what my party RBK stands for!

UHURU: The JUBILEE government will ensure a 24-hour Economy where a chicken will NOT have to cross ANY road in search for jobs. I will create jobs right where the chicken is standing...And the ONLY time a chicken leaves the work station,is maybe when its going to answer charges at the ICC.

KENNETH: I was born in Bahati. We used to call it,"Bahaa....." ,I went to Starehe,where we used to eat chicken every weekend. And am sorry,I think we ate that chicken too.Anyway,dont worry, My Government will create another chicken within the first 100 days...

MUDAVADI: Did YOU mention a CHICKEN?? Julie Gichuru,did You JUST mention a chicken?? Wait,Is that chicken here??! Am sorry but I think we are NOT supposed to be discussing a chicken. We should be EATING it!

KARUA: I believe in Integrity. I pushed so hard for that chicken to stay ON one side of the road. But the two principals failed to convince their troops to stop the chicken from crossing. The constitution is clear on the role of chickens. And My government will NOT only bring back the chicken,I wil also close down that road!

RAILA: Chickens are just chickens. That is the kind of chicken that owns huge tracts of land on the other side of the road! As a chicken,I believe You should stay in one place! Not crossing roads every now and then! You cant lay eggs through Skype.

MUITE: The Safina Government will get down to the bottom of the matter! You cannot convince Me,or any rational Kenyan,that that chicken was acting alone! NO! That chicken must have been sent by other chickens! You cannot tell me that other chickens were NOT aware that that chicken was crossing the road! Of course they were! And am NOT holding brief for that chicken,but My Government will investigate the matter and include more chickens in this whole 'Road-Crossing' Scandal!