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Understanding dowry terms in intermarriages
essyk
#51 Posted : Thursday, June 21, 2012 12:07:05 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 11/15/2011
Posts: 4,518
WHERE ARE THE OTHER TRIBES.

What do u ask for and what do they mean?
"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
nakujua
#52 Posted : Thursday, June 21, 2012 12:08:34 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 12/17/2009
Posts: 3,583
Location: Kenya
I wonder why they don't ask men to bring with them a bundle of firewood, I think it was one of the requirements back then.
Lolest!
#53 Posted : Thursday, June 21, 2012 12:11:48 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 3/18/2011
Posts: 12,069
Location: Kianjokoma
Njung'e wrote:


@Lolest,

You belong to the group that believes bride price is for buying the girl?smile ....wacha wewe!!...Unatak kuwa mtwanga freeLaughing out loudly ....Anyway,it's a symbol of bonding the two families.that much we have been told.

I wonder why then we call it 'kugurana'(kununuana) and why a lot of bargaining is involved plus the many trips the bride's side force the groom's side to make.

I wonder why some women have already pegged a price on themselves-like that woman who wanted 1m for her bride price. There are lots of other things too, like why bad blood develops between families and individuals after the negotiations.

If it's just for bonding, fine. But I thought the main reason was based on the traditional economy. Land was tilled by family members thus losing a family member to another family had to be compensaated. In those days the woman would move to the man's family and become one of them tilling their land and other duties.

Today, the young man lives in umoja, he plans to buy a hse in he metropolis or buy a kaplot in Syokimau away from the flight path. There is no major economic advantage to his family when he marries this girl. Infact, the wife's parents may benefit more from the marriage than the husband's!
Laughing out loudly smile Applause d'oh! Sad Drool Liar Shame on you Pray
Lolest!
#54 Posted : Thursday, June 21, 2012 12:20:41 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 3/18/2011
Posts: 12,069
Location: Kianjokoma
wapi @magigi, we need a Mukamba version!!
Laughing out loudly smile Applause d'oh! Sad Drool Liar Shame on you Pray
Njung'e
#55 Posted : Thursday, June 21, 2012 12:25:07 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 2/7/2007
Posts: 11,935
Location: Nairobi
@Lolest,

A woman slapping a price on herself???....I would run to the edge of the world.In a very fair scenario,the lady is always on the man's side and she will have leaked what they should expect during negotiations.....If i were the bridegroom's negotiator in this case,my counter offer would be a single damn tick (kupe).
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
jguru
#56 Posted : Thursday, June 21, 2012 12:37:08 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 10/25/2007
Posts: 1,574
Lolest! wrote:

I wonder why some women have already pegged a price on themselves-like that woman who wanted 1m for her bride price.


For those who missed it, here's the thread:

MEN, Would you pay Sh1 million for a wife? WOMEN, Would accept to be bought?

Set out to correct the world's wrongs and you will most certainly wind up adding to them.
AlphDoti
#57 Posted : Thursday, June 21, 2012 1:04:39 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,275
Location: Kenya
Njung'e wrote:
@Lolest,

A woman slapping a price on herself???....I would run to the edge of the world.In a very fair scenario,the lady is always on the man's side and she will have leaked what they should expect during negotiations.....If i were the bridegroom's negotiator in this case,my counter offer would be a single damn tick (kupe).


Noooo @guka. You should know that this's practiced in other cultures!

In Islam, the word gift is ususally used. Young women are encouraged to have a realistic expectation of what should be paid: an equitable amount that makes the woman feel secure. That's something to strengthen the bond of friendship between two people and family.

It is the man who pays the dowry to the woman, unless the woman chooses not to take it. They can even choose to share some of it with the man!
For example she can ask for somehting you'll both use in your new home

The Prophet said, "the most blessed marriage is one in which the marriage partners place the least burden on each other."

Marriage should not be used as a ticket to "get rich quick".

Some parents request very high dowry. DOn't they see that this practice leads to many young men to forsaking marriage, or postpone or fall into come-we-stay?
as a result, a large number of young women not finding husbands!
Tebes
#58 Posted : Thursday, June 21, 2012 1:23:24 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 11/26/2008
Posts: 2,097
Payment of dowry has been banned in some countries. In Kenya there was a proposal to consolidate all marriage related legislations in the Marriage Bill 2012 which proposes among others, setting 18 as minimum age, the legalising of polygamy.
Quote:
8. No person shall marry while under the age of eighteen years.
Prohibited relationships.
9. (1) No person shall marry—
(a) his or her grandparent, parent, child, grandchild, sister, brother, great aunt,
great uncle, aunt, uncle, niece, nephew, great niece or great nephew; or
(b) the grandparent, parent, child or grandchild of his or her spouse or former spouse; or
(c) the former spouse of his or her grandparent, parent, child or grandchild; or
(d) a person whom he or she has adopted or by whom he or she has been adopted.
(2) For the purposes of this section,relationship of the half blood is as much impediment to marriage as relationship of the full blood.
(3) A person who, by this section is forbidden to marry shall be said to be within aprohibited relationship.

"Never regret, if its good, its wonderful. If its bad, its experience."
radio
#59 Posted : Thursday, June 21, 2012 1:45:12 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 11/9/2009
Posts: 2,003
If we say goats should be literal, then 'kúhanda gíthígì' should be literal too.

What I've witnessed is a mixture of the two where you take some 'mbúri meeee' meaning real goats and cash counted per the remaining goats requested.
nakujua
#60 Posted : Thursday, June 21, 2012 2:13:01 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 12/17/2009
Posts: 3,583
Location: Kenya
radio wrote:
If we say goats should be literal, then 'kúhanda gíthígì' should be literal too.

What I've witnessed is a mixture of the two where you take some 'mbúri meeee' meaning real goats and cash counted per the remaining goats requested.


but in traditional Kikuyu there was no cash. Plus in every language there are sayings which are well understood. I don't think negotiation for goats was a saying - it was the literal goat they were asking for as opposed to 'kúhanda gíthígì'
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