lady admin amefurahia hio joke..she is human

C&P

An aircraft was losing height due to over load, the pilot announced, we will throw some passengers out of the aircraft in alphabetical order. Any African? No one answered, Any black? No one moved, Any Caribbean? Still silence. Then a black boy asked, Dad what are we? the father replied, Son, today we are Zulus

Cleavage is like the sun. It's okay to take quick glances, but dangerous to stare. Unless you're wearing sunglasses.......

A bookseller conducting a market survey askd a woman "whch book has helped u the most in ur life?"

The woman replied,
"my husband's cheque book"

CC @Magigi and @user

Spotted in Kitui 'kojoa hapa utuambie ulitoa maji wapi!!!'

not sure if this has been posted before ( i ran a search first) but here goes....


BEST INSHA: CENTRAL PROVINCE KCPE 2011


Turikuwa tumerara for for for. Tukasikia mayowe kwa jilani..wuuuuui… wuuui.. wuuuu…, Kusikia mayowe kwa jilani kwanza nikarenga!!!..Kusikia wuuuui tena nikaona nisi assume kwani wahenga wahenguzi hawakujifunga kiremba cha mbwaa koko waliposema mbiuu ya mgabo ikiria kuna jabo. Nikashuka kitadani kwa mwedo wa hajikwaiiii. Nakwambia kufungua mlango hivi tu nusra nipige ukemi!!, kurikuwa na giza mingi, imejaa kila mahari.Nikasikia uwoga ukipita kwa tubo, harafu roho yangu inagonga mbu! mbu! mbu! Usitake njua vile nilikuwa nimemaka kama kibogoyo ameota akikula mifupa. Nikatembeaa aste aste nikiwaza kinaga ubaga kuerekea kure masauti za mayowe zilikotoka.

Nilikuwa nikijaribu kama naweza pata mawe kwa balabala, lakini hiyo balabala ya kwetu hainanga mawe kumbwa kumbwa ni kokoto tu, kwa hivyo nikatoa kiatu nikitumie kama mawe. Nilipokuwa nikitembea nikasikia jogoo amewika kurukuku kuuuuu!!Nikashangaa Abadan katan kwanini amewika mapema hivyo lakini nikakumbuka chambilecho wahenga jogoo wa taoni hawiki ushago. Nikajua huyo jogoo lazima awe anakaa kwa mpaka ya mashambani na mjini, ndiposa hakujua masaa ya kuwika. Nikataka kumwambia huyo jogoo anyamaze lakini nikaona niwache kama walivyo nena waredi hayanihusu ndewe wala sikio ama shingo. Tuendelee na stori ya wezi.

Sasa kutembea hivyo hivyo nikaona umati wa watu ukierekea mboma Fulani hapo kwa neiba wetu wamembemba mapanga, ma mawe na makamba. Nikawafuata, kuenda huko nikapigwa na butwa, lakini sikumupiga mimi kwa sababu ya kumuogopa. Kuangalia nje ya ile mboma hapo napo nikapigwa na hamaki,,wololo, palikuwa na kijana wa miraba mine na mwingine mwenya mramba mnusu!!Kijana huyu wa miramba mine alipigwa ngumi na kijana barobaro, jambo hilo linifurahisha nikacheka kwe kwe kwe na bashasha ribo ribo ribo.Kupigwa ngumi alitoka ndamu kwa mapua pole pole mpaka nikaamini ndamu ni nzito kuliko manji. Kando kurikuwa na wamama wanapiga nduru, Kuulizia ni nini kinaendelea ati niwakora wanapigwa.

Nikasikia nimemboeka sana kwani nilidhania ni wezi warikuwa wamekunja kumbe ni wakora…Kwa hivyo nikakubaliana na wahenga wahenguzi na nyakanga ukistanjambia ya Mutha utaona ya firauni,,,kwani nilidhani ni wezi kijijini walipigiwa nduru kumbe ni wakora. Nikirundi nyumbani nikaenda nikumbuka kwamba kila kilicho na mwanzo hakina mwisho..!!

aigh this one killed me . pap ! noma sana

A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in Mombasa when they got to talking.

The lawyer mentioned, "I'm here because my house burned down and everything got destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything."

"That's quite a coincidence," remarked the engineer. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood. My insurance company, too, paid for everything."

There was a brief pause, and then the puzzled lawyer asked, "By the way, how do you start a flood?"