A Kisumu girls' chiq goes to the bookshop, he finds a Nyakemincha secondary guy also doing purchases. The guy notices the chiq n makes a move...

Nyakemincha; habari ya dada?
Kisumu girls; ya swaleh mdoee, ama ya mohammed ali?
Nyakemincha; yaani namaanisha sema?
... Kisumu girls; hivi kwamba, katika vijimisuli vya ngoma la sikio lako, nimenyamaza tangu awali?
Nyakemincha; pole dada, mi nakupenda!
Kisumu girls; ...kiplatoniki ama kiashiki za kimwili?
Nyakemincha; sasa ni madharau ama ni nini?
Kisumu girls; aliye juu mngoje chini, si mimi nilinena bali wahenga ndo walonoga. Rafiki yangu, niko JUU, lakini juu yangu ipo chini. Kwa hivyo sijui nitaenda chini zaidi ya hapa siku gani?
Nyakemincha; umekuja kununua kitabu kipi?
Kisumu girls; sijakuja kununua kitabu, nimekuja kupendekeza daftari langu la kiswahili...
Nyakemincha; Si unipe namba yako ya simu nitakupigia?
Kisumu girls; swali mufti kabisa ila nina swali, nini umoja wa 'ma'?
Nyakemincha; LA!
Kisumu girls; we si mjinga, bali ni kutojua kwako, kwamba hamna umoja wa 'ma'! Lakini umenikumbusha neno hilo!

This joke has really made my day. It is allegedly excerpted from an article about a bank robbery which appeared in the Dublin Times (metropolitan edition, page 2A) on 2 March 1999:
Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the internal security system got underway immediately.
The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash and valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes scattered throughout the bank.
The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a bowl of vanilla pudding. As recorded on the bank's audio-tape system, one said, "At least we'll get a bit to eat,"
The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all the safes were opened.
They found not one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding. Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.
The newspaper headline read: IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING.

GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSS!!!

This must be @T-mall

10 ADVANTAGES of Having GUN over WIFE



Advantages of a GUN over WIFE

#10 - You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

#9 - You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

#8 - If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7 - Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

#6 - Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

#5 - A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

#4 - Guns function normally every day of the month.

#3 - A gun doesn't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

#2 - A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST

#1 - You can buy a silencer for a gun

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@dunkang you have just thrown a stone at central police station,wacha tungoje vile utowekwo user pap!

......he has survived thus far!!!