i was once asked 'kwani mumefunga mlango?' and we imagined the sulking face....

Please,kids are 'small people' with needs/emotions as well.We are are just but big people in control.

Allow them to express themselves in whichever childish manner because they are human, but never ever disregard them no matter how silly they sound.
Seen kids who open up to strangers more than their own parents because they took time to 'just listen'
I don't believe in rewarding kids for good behavior either because as a parent, I must ensure that it becomes a norm through cultivating it and that it can never be bought.
Reward only if they do exceedingly better than expected.
The rest of the time, appreciate and commend them as often as you can.

We call it TOUGH LOVE and it really helps because it is we parents who refuse to let go not the kids.



The kanyau part deleted as it may traumatise baby as per Guru's advice.

Thanks all, been trying all the above but as observed here its not easy and patience is tested. She had a cot until she was 9 months, then she graduated to her bed in our bedroom. Some period of sick nights and she moved to our bed. Moving back to her own became a problem. We removed the bed and made her a bigger one in her brother's room akakataa (this is where we are).

So far so good this week, she's coping lakini does not seem to respond to routine (or is it disruption?).

The paediatricians would massacre you for saying children are small adults. You would never hear the end of that discussion.



More advice:

1. Don't go to bed at the same time as the child. Let the child go to bed, say at 9pm, to his/her own room, with or without the househelp. Then you and your better half can retire, at say 10pm.

2. Make going to bed a daily routine. Stick to the schedule. Supper at 6pm or 7pm. Some milk at 8pm. 8.30pm, pyjamas/bed clothes and then to his/her bed. Also, a bath at say 8.30pm, oiling/massage (they love this!), then dressing up in pyjamas/bed clothes relaxes the baby and soothes them to sleep better with less resistance.

3. Don't let the baby take a nap between 4pm and 9pm. When they sleep they have more energy to cry and to emotionally solicit for nights in your bed "woishe mamie nifungulie...". And you'll have problems putting them to bed.

4. No TV or cartoons after 8pm. Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon etc just stimulate him/her and you'll have trouble putting him/her to bed.

5. Having your child sleep in your bed doesn't necessarily improve the bond between you and the child. So, you can safely chase him/her away. This is the same child who will, when older, sleep under your car, jump over the fence, smoke your cigarettes or sip that Triple Distilled that you keep in the cabinet for your visitors. These bonds are created when you and the child are both awake.

6. Don't scare your child. No stories of 'giants' or that there's a 'wolf inside your bed' or the boogeyman or cats that will pee on them. Children are easily traumatised by these stories. That's why they bed-wet or they have nightmares while alone in their beds.

Ni hayo tu.

As Maka said, parenting is hard work

del.rpt.