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How to kill or chase away monkeys forever
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essyk
#31 Posted : Wednesday, January 31, 2018 3:11:48 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 11/15/2011
Posts: 4,518
Fullykenyan wrote:
essyk wrote:
Fullykenyan wrote:
Invest in rubber snakes. Monkeys are very scared of snakes. If you get pepper spray it can also help


Very nice thanks.Pepper spray will do.A lot of pepper.
Zitashangaa!!

Just make sure you are not in the direction of the wind. Rubber snakes are however very effective. Monkeys lose their young ones every year from snake bites. Therefore, all precaution is taken by them to avoid snakes at all costs


8 snakes will do
Thanks.
"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
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essyk
#32 Posted : Wednesday, January 31, 2018 3:13:23 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 11/15/2011
Posts: 4,518
Lolest! wrote:
wukan wrote:
essyk wrote:
The monkeys in my neighbourhood are driving me nuts.
So now they they have learnt how to open windows fridges and dare one inside their houses.You can't open windows.
I tried to bark like a dog and scare them but they jumped back!! luckily it was a glass partition.
The big one keeps trying to open the door as I watch!!
Yesterday it stole my avocado.
Now I am worried that they might feed on me if I deny them food.
I want to kill them.

any ideas?


Simple get your male friends or male relatives to visit more often. If you can't get a man to come over dress like a man and do the male dominance ritual(expand your thorax and do chest thumping) standing on your windows. Ofcourse your neighbors will think you are weird but the monkeys will get the memo. Monkeys and other primates tend to look down on women. Even in the forest shambas monkeys will harass women but flee once a man appears.

I thought monkeys can tell women apart from men even with confusing clothing

Something about scents

I was told by some KWS guy that monkeys can even tell when a woman is from a copulation session


Now this makes me even more angry.
They must die.
"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
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essyk
#33 Posted : Wednesday, January 31, 2018 3:16:09 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 11/15/2011
Posts: 4,518
ZZE123 wrote:
essyk wrote:
The monkeys in my neighbourhood are driving me nuts.
So now they they have learnt how to open windows fridges and dare one inside their houses.You can't open windows.
I tried to bark like a dog and scare them but they jumped back!! luckily it was a glass partition.
The big one keeps trying to open the door as I watch!!
Yesterday it stole my avocado.
Now I am worried that they might feed on me if I deny them food.
I want to kill them.

any ideas?


I know a case in Nakuru where a Monkey “ate” a lady!!Pray Pray Pray Pray Pray Pray @ essyk please don’t expose your bread as this might increase the Monkeys appetite


Will castrate a few after spraying them with pepper.
"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
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essyk
#34 Posted : Wednesday, January 31, 2018 3:23:19 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 11/15/2011
Posts: 4,518
kayhara wrote:
ZZE123 wrote:
essyk wrote:
The monkeys in my neighbourhood are driving me nuts.
So now they they have learnt how to open windows fridges and dare one inside their houses.You can't open windows.
I tried to bark like a dog and scare them but they jumped back!! luckily it was a glass partition.
The big one keeps trying to open the door as I watch!!
Yesterday it stole my avocado.
Now I am worried that they might feed on me if I deny them food.
I want to kill them.

any ideas?


I know a case in Nakuru where a Monkey “ate” a lady!!Pray Pray Pray Pray Pray Pray @ essyk please don’t expose your bread as this might increase the Monkeys appetite

At home if a lady is by herself the monkeys will harass her, but if a man or a boy is around they keep their distance, my 3 year old boy can comfortably eat his lunch outside with no issues, my mum on the other hand can't even drink water outside without the monkeys climbing down from the trees, woe unto you
if you leave your kitchen open, they now actually know how to turn cabinet keys.
But kill them ? no live and let live


They need to respect humans.
At my area no one opens their windows.
I used to be tolerant,until it walked majestically infront of me carrying my avocado from the kitchen.Another time it took sweet bananas from the dining table.Now it's entering my bedroom window.
It's a marked and wanted one.
I am Saying NO to Monkey terrorism.
"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
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essyk
#35 Posted : Wednesday, January 31, 2018 3:27:46 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 11/15/2011
Posts: 4,518
wukan wrote:

Quote:
Nachu's women have tried wearing their husbands' clothes in an attempt to trick the monkeys into thinking they are men - but this has failed, they say.

"When we come to chase the monkeys away, we are dressed in trousers and hats, so that we look like men," resident Lucy Njeri told the BBC News website

"But the monkeys can tell the difference and they don't run away from us and point at our breasts. They just ignore us and continue to steal the crops."

In addition to stealing their crops, the monkeys also make sexually explicit gestures at the women, they claim.



What the hell!! A monkey?
I am more determined to teach one a lesson.Just one..The dominant one.


"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
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tycho
#36 Posted : Wednesday, January 31, 2018 8:37:11 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 7/1/2011
Posts: 8,804
Location: Nairobi
Swenani wrote:
tycho wrote:


One power well distributed among women for example is magick.



Wacha philosophy mingi, the only magick relevant here is that of a woman taking in sperms and delivering a baby nine months after.

tycho wrote:

It's about you calling the monkeys to yourself, and letting them reign.



Are you suggesting that My Kysse should allow monkeys to copulate with her?


I understand you @Swenani. I understand my self.

There's a new word in the dictionary. It's called 'Mansplaining'.

The monkey is a man, essyk needs a monkey either way.

An alpha at that.

Then the other monkeys will keep off.

But maybe essyk has some other ideas of how to be a monkey.

Maybe a gorilla thumping its chest in the wazuan jungle.

But there's also a snake.

Venom like pepper

But the snake is a man

Down the tree it whispers

Perennially to evesk

Of the tree of knowledge.
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essyk
#37 Posted : Wednesday, January 31, 2018 9:59:53 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 11/15/2011
Posts: 4,518
tycho wrote:
Swenani wrote:
tycho wrote:


One power well distributed among women for example is magick.



Wacha philosophy mingi, the only magick relevant here is that of a woman taking in sperms and delivering a baby nine months after.

tycho wrote:

It's about you calling the monkeys to yourself, and letting them reign.



Are you suggesting that My Kysse should allow monkeys to copulate with her?


I understand you @Swenani. I understand my self.

There's a new word in the dictionary. It's called 'Mansplaining'.

The monkey is a man, essyk needs a monkey either way.

An alpha at that.

Then the other monkeys will keep off.

But maybe essyk has some other ideas of how to be a monkey.

Maybe a gorilla thumping its chest in the wazuan jungle.

But there's also a snake.

Venom like pepper

But the snake is a man

Down the tree it whispers

Perennially to evesk

Of the tree of knowledge.



You two!

Thread is a simple dicussion about sokwe or tumbili or nyani.

don't dig in too much.Its not complex.
"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
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Angelica _ann
#38 Posted : Wednesday, January 31, 2018 10:35:25 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 12/7/2012
Posts: 11,935
essyk wrote:
tycho wrote:
Swenani wrote:
tycho wrote:


One power well distributed among women for example is magick.



Wacha philosophy mingi, the only magick relevant here is that of a woman taking in sperms and delivering a baby nine months after.

tycho wrote:

It's about you calling the monkeys to yourself, and letting them reign.



Are you suggesting that My Kysse should allow monkeys to copulate with her?


I understand you @Swenani. I understand my self.

There's a new word in the dictionary. It's called 'Mansplaining'.

The monkey is a man, essyk needs a monkey either way.

An alpha at that.

Then the other monkeys will keep off.

But maybe essyk has some other ideas of how to be a monkey.

Maybe a gorilla thumping its chest in the wazuan jungle.

But there's also a snake.

Venom like pepper

But the snake is a man

Down the tree it whispers

Perennially to evesk

Of the tree of knowledge.



You two!

Thread is a simple dicussion about sokwe or tumbili or nyani.

don't dig in too much.Its not complex.


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins - cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later - H Geneen
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Fullykenyan
#39 Posted : Thursday, February 01, 2018 12:00:07 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 7/27/2014
Posts: 560
Location: Eastlando
essyk wrote:
Fullykenyan wrote:
essyk wrote:
Fullykenyan wrote:
Invest in rubber snakes. Monkeys are very scared of snakes. If you get pepper spray it can also help


Very nice thanks.Pepper spray will do.A lot of pepper.
Zitashangaa!!

Just make sure you are not in the direction of the wind. Rubber snakes are however very effective. Monkeys lose their young ones every year from snake bites. Therefore, all precaution is taken by them to avoid snakes at all costs


8 snakes will do
Thanks.

Dont forget to change their position everyday. This is because Monkeys are very smart and they can easily tell if you are playing games with them. One thing, you should not do, dont try to corner them. Their animal instinct will kick in and you will leave to regret it.
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madhaquer
#40 Posted : Thursday, February 01, 2018 3:00:42 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 11/10/2010
Posts: 281
Location: Nairobi
Don't feed the monkey.
Whatever you do, your place should be clear of any food they can take. Yes it's an inconvenience but they learn pretty quickly that there is nothing there for them.

If your compound is not very large, get some big dogs.
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