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So Weinstein also ate Lupita
Kusadikika
#61 Posted : Tuesday, October 24, 2017 6:30:45 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/22/2008
Posts: 2,703
Dahatre wrote:
Sansa wrote:
I think we need to revisit consent with this tea analogy that has been shared before:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQbei5JGiT8

If you ask your friend, “Hey, would you like a cup of tea?” and they go, “OMG, f*ck yes, I would f*cking LOVE a cup of tea! Thank you!” Then you know they want a cup of tea.

If you say, “Hey, would you like a cup of tea?” and they um and ahh and say, “I’m not really sure…” then you can make them a cup of tea or not, but be aware that they might not drink it, and if they don’t drink it then — this is the important bit — don’t make them drink it. You can’t blame them for you going to the effort of making the tea on the off chance they wanted it; you just have to deal with them not drinking it. Just because you made it doesn’t mean you are entitled to watch them drink it.

If they say, “No, thank you,” then don’t make them tea. At all. Don’t make them tea, don’t make them drink tea, don’t get annoyed at them for not wanting tea. They just don’t want tea, okay?

They might say, “Yes, please, that’s kind of you,” and then when the tea arrives they actually don’t want the tea at all. Sure, that’s kind of annoying as you’ve gone to the effort of making the tea, but they remain under no obligation to drink the tea. They did want tea, now they don’t. Sometimes people change their mind in the time it takes to boil that kettle, brew the tea and add the milk. And it’s okay for people to change their mind, and you are still not entitled to watch them drink it even though you went to the trouble of making it.

If they are unconscious, don’t make them tea. Unconscious people don’t want tea and can’t answer the question, “Do you want tea?” because they are unconscious.

Okay, maybe they were conscious when you asked them if they wanted tea, and they said yes, but in the time it took you to boil that kettle, brew the tea and add the milk they are now unconscious. You should just put the tea down, make sure the unconscious person is safe, and — this is the important bit — don’t make them drink the tea.

If someone said yes to tea, started drinking it and then passed out before they’d finished it, don’t keep on pouring it down their throat. Take the tea away and make sure they are safe. Because unconscious people don’t want tea. Trust me on this.

If someone said “yes” to tea around your house last Saturday, that doesn’t mean that they want you to make them tea all the time. They don’t want you to come around unexpectedly to their place and make them tea and force them to drink it going, “BUT YOU WANTED TEA LAST WEEK,” or to wake up to find you pouring tea down their throat going “BUT YOU WANTED TEA LAST NIGHT.”

Great lesson for all..
The most mind blowing sex is of the “OMG, f*ck yes, I would f*cking LOVE a cup of tea!" variety..Trust me..


A very good story for western countries which is why Weinstein is in trouble there. I would also like to share an African story. When you arrive as a guest in an African home you are not asked questions, you are not asked whether you are hungry or thirsty or what you would like to eat. Events are set in motion to feed you and to satisfy your thirst. Your presence in the home is consent enough that you are hungry and thirsty and are ready to eat and drink whatever is served. Always be aware of what kind of home you are visiting.
hardwood
#62 Posted : Tuesday, October 24, 2017 6:51:52 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/28/2015
Posts: 9,562
Location: Rodi Kopany, Homa Bay
You seduce a woman. Then invite her for lunch in your simba. After the lunch you both agree to head to the bedroom. You offer to give her a massage but she offers to massage you first. You want more but then she tells you "not today". You respect her decision and she goes home. How the hell is this sexual harassment?

Should we men be expecting a woman to lie on her back and spread her thighs wide when she accepts our proposition for $ex? With anything less than that being deemed as sexual harassment?
Shak
#63 Posted : Wednesday, October 25, 2017 7:14:59 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/22/2009
Posts: 2,449
Location: Africa
hardwood wrote:
You seduce a woman. Then invite her for lunch in your simba. After the lunch you both agree to head to the bedroom. You offer to give her a massage but she offers to massage you first. You want more but then she tells you "not today". You respect her decision and she goes home. How the hell is this sexual harassment?

Should we men be expecting a woman to lie on her back and spread her thighs wide when she accepts our proposition for $ex? With anything less than that being deemed as sexual harassment?

Reading this will do you some good
Mike Ock
#64 Posted : Wednesday, October 25, 2017 7:36:04 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 1/22/2015
Posts: 682
Dahatre wrote:

Classic text book case of deflection..Less than 10% of sexual assault accusations are false. but let's ignore the more than 90% that are true.


Thank goodness the law does not rely on numbers pulled out of Dahatre's ass. Lupita's story has so many holes in it, if you can't see that, enyewe I can't argue with you. Just be sincere with yourself and see that story objectively.
Impunity
#65 Posted : Thursday, October 26, 2017 4:39:38 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,328
Location: Masada
radio wrote:
As an individual affected with rape, I completely agree with the ladies...

Nothing can justify rape...


Pole sana @radio
Sad
Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

Impunity
#66 Posted : Thursday, October 26, 2017 4:44:40 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,328
Location: Masada
radio wrote:
As an individual affected with rape, I completely agree with the ladies...

Nothing can justify rape...


Pole sana radio.
Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

newfarer
#67 Posted : Thursday, October 26, 2017 7:01:03 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/19/2010
Posts: 3,504
Location: Uganda
these sex issues can be really tricky and most men if not all, can easily fall.sometimes there is a thin line between yes and no.nothing justifies sexual assault.a neighbour was on a night shift, a stranger lady comes crying saying the person she was to meet is mteja.she request the neighbour for an overnight accommodation which he obliges since he was to be on a night shift anyway.

in the mid of the night the neighbour akapigwa Na baridi akakumbuka ile 'nyama' aliwacha kwa nyumba.he sneaks out of duty to his house. akajitetea and the stranger lady akakubali kureturn favour for the night accommodation.

the following morning, lady akatoka.by 10 am my neighbour was under arrest for raping the stranger lady.ilibidi neighbours wamsave cos some witnessed the incident and it appeared as a setup.

but then men can be foolish when it comes to matters below the belt.
punda amecheka
Dahatre
#68 Posted : Thursday, October 26, 2017 9:01:50 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 12/21/2009
Posts: 602
Kusadikika wrote:
Dahatre wrote:
Sansa wrote:
I think we need to revisit consent with this tea analogy that has been shared before:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQbei5JGiT8

If you ask your friend, “Hey, would you like a cup of tea?” and they go, “OMG, f*ck yes, I would f*cking LOVE a cup of tea! Thank you!” Then you know they want a cup of tea.

If you say, “Hey, would you like a cup of tea?” and they um and ahh and say, “I’m not really sure…” then you can make them a cup of tea or not, but be aware that they might not drink it, and if they don’t drink it then — this is the important bit — don’t make them drink it. You can’t blame them for you going to the effort of making the tea on the off chance they wanted it; you just have to deal with them not drinking it. Just because you made it doesn’t mean you are entitled to watch them drink it.

If they say, “No, thank you,” then don’t make them tea. At all. Don’t make them tea, don’t make them drink tea, don’t get annoyed at them for not wanting tea. They just don’t want tea, okay?

They might say, “Yes, please, that’s kind of you,” and then when the tea arrives they actually don’t want the tea at all. Sure, that’s kind of annoying as you’ve gone to the effort of making the tea, but they remain under no obligation to drink the tea. They did want tea, now they don’t. Sometimes people change their mind in the time it takes to boil that kettle, brew the tea and add the milk. And it’s okay for people to change their mind, and you are still not entitled to watch them drink it even though you went to the trouble of making it.

If they are unconscious, don’t make them tea. Unconscious people don’t want tea and can’t answer the question, “Do you want tea?” because they are unconscious.

Okay, maybe they were conscious when you asked them if they wanted tea, and they said yes, but in the time it took you to boil that kettle, brew the tea and add the milk they are now unconscious. You should just put the tea down, make sure the unconscious person is safe, and — this is the important bit — don’t make them drink the tea.

If someone said yes to tea, started drinking it and then passed out before they’d finished it, don’t keep on pouring it down their throat. Take the tea away and make sure they are safe. Because unconscious people don’t want tea. Trust me on this.

If someone said “yes” to tea around your house last Saturday, that doesn’t mean that they want you to make them tea all the time. They don’t want you to come around unexpectedly to their place and make them tea and force them to drink it going, “BUT YOU WANTED TEA LAST WEEK,” or to wake up to find you pouring tea down their throat going “BUT YOU WANTED TEA LAST NIGHT.”

Great lesson for all..
The most mind blowing sex is of the “OMG, f*ck yes, I would f*cking LOVE a cup of tea!" variety..Trust me..


A very good story for western countries which is why Weinstein is in trouble there. I would also like to share an African story. When you arrive as a guest in an African home you are not asked questions, you are not asked whether you are hungry or thirsty or what you would like to eat. Events are set in motion to feed you and to satisfy your thirst. Your presence in the home is consent enough that you are hungry and thirsty and are ready to eat and drink whatever is served. Always be aware of what kind of home you are visiting.

So the method of delivering the message is not appropriate. How would you teach a group of African youngsters (boys and girls)to respect each others agency?

On the food offer issue: Is there a time when a guest's nose is held as the uji is poured into their mouth? Are they ever threatened with violence if they refuse the food?
Dahatre
#69 Posted : Thursday, October 26, 2017 9:13:49 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 12/21/2009
Posts: 602
Mike Ock wrote:
Dahatre wrote:

Classic text book case of deflection..Less than 10% of sexual assault accusations are false. but let's ignore the more than 90% that are true.


Thank goodness the law does not rely on numbers pulled out of Dahatre's ass. Lupita's story has so many holes in it, if you can't see that, enyewe I can't argue with you. Just be sincere with yourself and see that story objectively.

The law is always on the side of power and money.
I am sure Weinstein will sue Lupita for libel if she is lying. In the meantime, may be you will publish the correct statistics on how many women lie about sexual harassment/assault rather than storing them in Mike Ock's a$$?
Dahatre
#70 Posted : Thursday, October 26, 2017 9:18:23 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 12/21/2009
Posts: 602
Impunity wrote:
radio wrote:
As an individual affected with rape, I completely agree with the ladies...

Nothing can justify rape...


Pole sana radio.

(((Radio)))...May you heal..
Sansa
#71 Posted : Thursday, October 26, 2017 9:44:32 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 3/19/2013
Posts: 344
newfarer wrote:
these sex issues can be really tricky and most men if not all, can easily fall.sometimes there is a thin line between yes and no.nothing justifies sexual assault.a neighbour was on a night shift, a stranger lady comes crying saying the person she was to meet is mteja.she request the neighbour for an overnight accommodation which he obliges since he was to be on a night shift anyway.

in the mid of the night the neighbour akapigwa Na baridi akakumbuka ile 'nyama' aliwacha kwa nyumba.he sneaks out of duty to his house. akajitetea and the stranger lady akakubali kureturn favour for the night accommodation.

the following morning, lady akatoka.by 10 am my neighbour was under arrest for raping the stranger lady.ilibidi neighbours wamsave cos some witnessed the incident and it appeared as a setup.

but then men can be foolish when it comes to matters below the belt.


And you don't see how this woman could have felt powerless in this situation?
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