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Child custody - married parents
Rank: Member Joined: 6/21/2010 Posts: 345 Location: easto
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hardwood wrote:No man should interfere with the affairs of another man's home. As you said up there, choices and consequences, when you marry a lady/am with a child, I think you should be ready for consequences also. Blood is way thicker, you cannot just dismiss biological parents "The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence." ― Charles Bukowski
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/8/2013 Posts: 4,068 Location: At Large.
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shadowinvestor wrote:[quote=Bigchick]
What is the way out..
I dont think the law should come in.Let biological father and mum meet and discuss the issues around the matter.Let biological father lay down his demands.It is not advisable for a baby girl to be released to the father at age 10.
The Father has a right to the Toi, 10 years or not, in any case he is married and has a wife to take care of the Kid if its a womans touch needed.
In regards to the school thing, whether its Ego or not, if the school the father wants to take the Kid is better than current he has the right to demand it, i can see how this can be an issue for the mother as if she has other Kids with the new Husband and cannot afford Riara for example, you have three kids in the house, 2 going to Kilimani primary and one Riara. I think a compromise here it needed, both sides
Compromise is the english word I was looking for.It need not be a court matter. About custody my statement is its not advisable to release girl to father but its not impossible. Love is beautiful and so are those who share it.With Love, Marriage is an amazing event in ones life time, the foundation of joy, happiness and success.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/28/2015 Posts: 9,562 Location: Rodi Kopany, Homa Bay
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shadowinvestor wrote:[quote=Bigchick]
What is the way out..
I dont think the law should come in.Let biological father and mum meet and discuss the issues around the matter.Let biological father lay down his demands.It is not advisable for a baby girl to be released to the father at age 10.
The Father has a right to the Toi, 10 years or not, in any case he is married and has a wife to take care of the Kid if its a womans touch needed.
In regards to the school thing, whether its Ego or not, if the school the father wants to take the Kid is better than current he has the right to demand it, i can see how this can be an issue for the mother as if she has other Kids with the new Husband and cannot afford Riara for example, you have three kids in the house, 2 going to Kilimani primary and one Riara. I think a compromise here it needed, both sides
There should be no compromise whatsoever. If anything the man of the house should get a court order to restrain "the stranger" from contacting his wife or kids.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 8/25/2012 Posts: 1,826
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tnai9 wrote:hardwood wrote:No man should interfere with the affairs of another man's home. As you said up there, choices and consequences, when you marry a lady/am with a child, I think you should be ready for consequences also. Blood is way thicker, you cannot just dismiss biological parents I think its juvenile for the man to try and interfere with another man's house, sasa he wants to take the girl to a school the levels of makini then the girls takes a matatu and goes back to kariofangi in the evening, hiyo ni kutesa mtoto. if the kid is happy where she is, wachana yeye, otherwise hii kuvutana and trying to show he has a bigger wallet will only end up messing up the kid.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 1/3/2014 Posts: 1,063
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hardwood wrote:shadowinvestor wrote:[quote=Bigchick]
What is the way out..
I dont think the law should come in.Let biological father and mum meet and discuss the issues around the matter.Let biological father lay down his demands.It is not advisable for a baby girl to be released to the father at age 10.
The Father has a right to the Toi, 10 years or not, in any case he is married and has a wife to take care of the Kid if its a womans touch needed.
In regards to the school thing, whether its Ego or not, if the school the father wants to take the Kid is better than current he has the right to demand it, i can see how this can be an issue for the mother as if she has other Kids with the new Husband and cannot afford Riara for example, you have three kids in the house, 2 going to Kilimani primary and one Riara. I think a compromise here it needed, both sides
There should be no compromise whatsoever. If anything the man of the house should get a court order to restrain "the stranger" from contacting his wife or kids. The biological father has the right to see his daughter.Wazungus do this all the time.Waafrika hio level hatujafika. Consistency is better than intensity
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Rank: Member Joined: 6/21/2010 Posts: 345 Location: easto
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hardwood wrote:
Once you marry a woman all her children become your children and you take care of them all, and therefore no man should come into your home and insist to take care of "his biological child". If the man loved his daughter too much he should have married the mother. Choices have consequences. You cant have your cake and eat it.
Breakup: These guys had an unplanned baby. They were working in different towns, one evening my colleague made an impromptu visit to the X's house and found her in a compromising situation with another man, that is how he ended up not marrying her. So details have devils. There is a situation here. "The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence." ― Charles Bukowski
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/28/2015 Posts: 9,562 Location: Rodi Kopany, Homa Bay
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tnai9 wrote:hardwood wrote:
Once you marry a woman all her children become your children and you take care of them all, and therefore no man should come into your home and insist to take care of "his biological child". If the man loved his daughter too much he should have married the mother. Choices have consequences. You cant have your cake and eat it.
Breakup: These guys had an unplanned baby. They were working in different towns, one evening my colleague made an impromptu visit to the X's house and found her in a compromising situation with another man, that is how he ended up not marrying her. So details have devils. There is a situation here. Has the man taken a dna test to prove the daughter is his now that the woman has a history of f@#%^& around?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/23/2008 Posts: 3,017
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This is actually tougher than I thought. The biological father has a reasonable expectation to interact with the daughter and provide for a her a quality of life that he feels she deserves. While the step father has a reasonable argument to want to raise all his children equally, and to run his family without interference by another man. My advise is they all sit down and reason together, lakini the biological father has to appreciate that he is the outsider here. "The purpose of bureaucracy is to compensate for incompetence and lack of discipline." James Collins
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Rank: Member Joined: 6/21/2010 Posts: 345 Location: easto
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hardwood wrote:
Has the man taken a dna test to prove the daughter is his now that the woman has a history of f@#%^& around?
@Hardwood that I don't know but I believe the guy is not just following responsibility in vain. I give him the benefit of doubt..and I believe he has rights "The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence." ― Charles Bukowski
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Rank: Member Joined: 6/21/2010 Posts: 345 Location: easto
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sitaki.kujulikana wrote:
I think its juvenile for the man to try and interfere with another man's house, sasa he wants to take the girl to a school the levels of makini then the girls takes a matatu and goes back to kariofangi in the evening, hiyo ni kutesa mtoto.
if the kid is happy where she is, wachana yeye, otherwise hii kuvutana and trying to show he has a bigger wallet will only end up messing up the kid.
How will the kid turn out, say compared to others who get better schooling? I know the future is unknown to all of us, but one can invest well now to hopefully have better outcome in future. Its a tough one..., but what several lawyers have told him is he will be granted access and will have a stake in major decisions affecting the child like religion, medical care, schooling etc. Custody is another story. The further very heartbreaking issue for this colleague is the X works in some shift based job and is away sometimes at night, several times a week. So guess who assists the kid do homework and many other things!! "The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence." ― Charles Bukowski
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