The problem with this generation is we confuse a wedding for marriage. That's why after the wedding everything goes back to normal, the guy goes back to his 'buddies' and the lady goes back to her 'girlfriends'.
You'll need to get new MARRIED friends and cut off some pals completely while keeping others at bay or else your marriage will not survive. If you have a married friend of questionable qualities eg when you did a guys trip to Naivasha he came with Susan instead of mama Carol, huyo cut-off without second thoughts if your marriage is still young.

I think marriage is like a house.You sit and chart a plan with your other half and always leave some room for emotions to run.Never lose your head in a marriage because you will as well lose the marriage.

@Vin

Before you try it, you may think it is as easy as ABCD. Know that these are two different people raised by different parents in different environment. They have decided to stay together when they are already adults. Adults whom you cant change.

Marriage has 4 stages....4 Ds of marriage

1. Dream
Mostly when dating and the first years of marriage. This is the time when love is at it's peak. also known as 'HONEY MOON STAGE'


2. Drama
Honey moon is over reality checks in. you begin to notice things about your partner that you dont quite agree with. boredom checks in, spending time with your boys/girls is more interesting than being with your mate.
MOST RELATIONSHIPS/MARRIAGES BREAK AT THIS POINT
Mpango wa kando also starts here.

3. Discovery
You begin to understand your man/woman. e.g maybe the reason he preferes spending time with the boyz is because iam always nagging him about this or the other etc......... Hence a change in atitude/approach
OR some times you realize you have kids together hence separation may not be a good option.

SOME WILL CHOOSE TO CHANGE THEIR ATITUDE HANCE PROGRESS TO THE NEXT STAGE, BUT SOME DECIDE TO LIVE WITH THE PROBLEM, HENCE LIVE AN AVERAGE LIFE NEITHER HAPPY NOR SAD JUST THERE..

4. Destiny
You fall in love again only that this time you are wiser and will be able to avoid certain mistakes.....AND YOU LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER
Have you noticed that most of our grandparents/parents are happy with each other?

MARRIAGE CAN BE ENJOYABLE IF YOU ARE WILLING TO WORK YOUR WAY THROUGH TO 'DESTINY' AND BY THE WAY IT DOESN'T HAVE TO TAKE 30 YEARS EVEN 5 YEARS IS POSSIBLE

@XSK

Agreed challenges never stop however you will have grown wiser and more in sync with each other, so you can handle them in a better way.

Read Somewhere cant remember where that the perfect marriage is where the husband is deaf while the wife is blind.
On a serious note though I think present day couples have become intolerant of each other.There is too much brinkmanship from either side and the whole setup looks like the 'politics in kenya'.

It may seem uphill, or plain impossible but it really is possible to be in a happy marriage. Just Use Your Head.

@ Aloo
I agree with you but again there are some couples out there who will never have time to sit down with the partner to discuss on anything. From what you have said i think attitude also matter a lot. How do you deal with the financial part?

@atiriri,

As for my husband and i have no financial secrets, i know how his payslip looks like he knows mine, we draft our budgets together. We are very transparent with one another on all issues. No secrets among us (Wife & Hubby) . Outsiders know nothing about our issues which we have learnt to solve amicably. I still Insist on involving God in everything because we can't do anything on our own.

I think what breaks most marriages nowadays, is the wife "wanting to wear the trousers in the house". Domestic dramas lead to loss of respect between the wife and the husband. A lady needs to be a tad submissive to the gentleman for a marriage to survive.

And the man should respect the lady of the house. I have seen cases where us men we invite the so called mistresses to our matrimonial bed when our wives are away. Or we bring them in the name of relatives in the house. Can trust still exist after the lady of the house has discovered?