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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/11/2007 Posts: 1,680 Location: nairobi
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someone will one time sue SK for outlaying marriage as one of the next to impossible thing.
Wenzs.. soo many points..am still stuck on 13. Fight naked. ;).. that shld work..so wld sleeping naked no matter the weather..,
avoid big beds..you know the 6x6.. not good for marriage..when you fight and she takes the far end corner..hamtamek,
have kids bed in your room.. might sound from venus but i know it helps..some say that thier kids are too loud when they cry..hell yes because you are never there when they wake up from a bad dream...
the inlaws,they can save your marriage ..but thats a story after my next beer.
muthomi mugi aiikagia maitho kabere...
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Rank: Member Joined: 6/26/2008 Posts: 365
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It seems like this marriage is bad coz both of you are enjoying that kind of arrangement. I don't think she is ignorant of your escapades and I believe she is also having her cake and eating it at the same time. Don't think you are the only one fooling her,she is also fooling you. Enjoy your bad marriage because you both made it so!!! I will praise thee,O Lord my God,with all my heart: And I will glorify thy name forever more. Psalms 86:12 If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love - Maya Angelou
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/19/2008 Posts: 839
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one cardinal rule..... ......... always sleep in the nude...... and especially in the old spring beds that bulk in the middle...... hata mkijaribu namna gani...... hiyo usiku..... there will be a shooting parade.... I'm the real Massey F.....shut your mouth I'm the real Massey Fergu...... Shut your mouth....
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Rank: Elder Joined: 8/1/2008 Posts: 1,432 Location: Marsabit
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I might be one of the few people left on this planet who still believes in marriage and i believe that most people are in bad marriages coz of their own ignorance. The biggest mistake people make is marrying someone you cannot communicate with and someone who is not mature enough,then complaining about it later on. Men blame women,women blame men... Am sure @pavlovs wifey also blames him. but when did your troubles start? How can your wife love and respect you when all you do is drink and seek 'companionship' in other women? Take time on a day when you're sober and talk to her,am sure she's also hurting and holding on because of the junior. As long as your child needs two parents....they better be two loving,respectful,responsible adults..because when he starts understanding what is going on between his parents,he will be very mad at the both of you. I do not advocate for divorce but in a case of habitual adultery...I do! Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.. Nevermind what haters say, ignore them til they fade away - Just live your life
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Rank: Member Joined: 3/28/2009 Posts: 13
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hi y'all.interesting advice/opinions/views u have all given.'The real shaft,interesting u should mention slleping naked and others mentioned a small bed.i couldn't agree with u more.we have those kingsize beds and our son has been sharing the bed with us since he was 6mths old!that's one of the reasons we cant shag whenever we want!not only that,there's a subconscious repulsion between this wife of mine and myself,even contact in bed leads to reflex withdrawal.i don't know if we have reached a point of no return.r u guys feeling me?
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/19/2008 Posts: 839
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wewe wacha.... 'we men' get aroused by thought,sight and touch.... imagine you are 'banging' you dream model..... then turn to her..... after a season of 'shadow-banging'... you will be good to go.... I'm the real Massey F.....shut your mouth I'm the real Massey Fergu...... Shut your mouth....
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/31/2008 Posts: 7,081 Location: Kenya
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@ Real: I agree with you. The problem with our bedrooms these days is that you find one 'acre of a bed' inside there. You cling to one corner and your partner clings to the other. In between there is space that can be occupied by 2 other couples. When talking you have to shout to be able to hear one onother. Mimi,hiyo acre ya kitanda nimetoa. Instead i have put those old vono beds. That one,even if the fight the night before was a big as what,the morning desire and the clseness will sort it out....
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Rank: Member Joined: 11/21/2007 Posts: 3
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@ pavlov. sorry to hear your predicament man,its an issue affecting countless marital unions all over the place. after all the womanising and drinking,the reality is still there the next morning,staring you starkly in the face. r u gonna keep running or r u gonna face it like a decent human being? your escapist attitude is really self-defeating and self destructive ... its analogous to biting your nose to spite your face. however,when all is said and done,you have to ask yourself the really hard questions. why get married in the 1st place? it seems for your case that although the intention was noble,the reasons were not good enough. same can be said of your reasons for staying in the marriage. look to yourself; are you part of the problem? what solutions are you offering? are you really the angel you want us to believe you are? once you turn the spotlight on youself,you will get a little more clarity. no one here can help you but yourself
Bludrip
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/19/2008 Posts: 839
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magigi*, thats the way to go about it..... a woman can adapt to not having the shooting parade... more easily than 'we-men'...... so... a month of no parade..... means more trouble... than a week without parade.... I'm the real Massey F.....shut your mouth I'm the real Massey Fergu...... Shut your mouth....
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/13/2008 Posts: 1,565
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Pavlov,putting your son's interest's first is a good thing. But your reasons for sleeping around are,at best,very juvenile. How has any of that helped solve the problem? You have removed yourself from collective responsibility.
In case I am speaking without profound understanding,when it comes to divorce,you are not doing the kid a favour by staying together - you are simply giving the kid a chance to grow up some more,perceive and understand more - thus hate or get hurt more. Kids under 5 years rarely get that much affected by divorce.
The problem with equality is that we desire that it be with those that have more than us rather that those that have less
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Rank: Member Joined: 7/1/2008 Posts: 68
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@pavlov
I hear and feel you bro. You sound young; you only have one child. What you are going through is what very many people are going through and you are not alone. My small piece of brain tells me that you actually needs to divorce. Your wife is not the problem. You are actually the problem. First,you compromised and paged the gal. She brought the fruit of your labour to your store. So take care of it. 2ndly,you fear to face a problem that you are well aware of. People face difficulties of every kind. A successful man,faces the problem and fights it off. Dont shy away and look aside. Kick offs and beer can not solve your problem. You alone can solve it. This is what makes me think that the lady got an inadequate man in her life. COMPANIONSHIP is the key in marriages. All other things are secondary.
In so doing,I think your wife needs to trace you out when you are committing adultery and use that evidence to divorce you once and for all.
If you are seeking a long term solution,it all starts with you. Look at your confession and start by running away from bad behaviour. Once you do it for yourself,it will be much easier to influence your wife. Your conscience also looks dead. It will have revived by then.
Therefore my guy; change. for the sake of your future,your happiness,your productivity and your family: please change. Embrace the change. Sort out this small mess and life will be good thereafter.
Regards,
tash
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