Did you mention Vihiga? Man,that kid is in funk.

@sheep. You cound'nt be more right. In form 0ne,my old geezer made sure I was enrolled into Kapsabet Boys High School. MAN,THE CULTURE SHOCK!. Then the pain of abandonment and the agony of puberscence put a screw through my brain and psych that has lasted todate. I have a problem dealing with authority and there is no rule I can let pass without bending it. My conscience was sear as with a hot iron. I went on till post grad and numerous professional courses but I might just be a social misfit. Thanks to boarding school. I swore my two lads will never have to go through what I went through as long as I am alive and even if I should die.

The kid is probably blowing weed and inhaling it. The starry look was bewilderement as to where he will get a dealer in Nairobi. Talk to the poor chap,you will learn alot.


As a man thinketh so is he

@poggie

In form 1 i thought kids should be able to deal with boarding? If you are in nairobi,would you rather the kid goes to secondary boarding or be a day scholar? remember (i dont know whether you watched) the programme that highlighted what the secondary school,gals especially,are doing in river road? they leave home like they are going to school,then they change and rent a room where they 'work' all day??

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

I believe that good parenting and communication is the key to everything. We have no idea of the background of your parenting but assuming it's good then you need to be open with the little boy. I believe 12 is young for the boy to go to boarding but with good guidance and telling him the reasons why and all that he can cope with a good boarding.Also make sure that the choice of school is good. I had the perfect boarding life. My high school life was greater than anything else at the moment I was there,always looking forward. I don't bend rules,drink alcohol or smoke anything.Talk to the boy and make a sure decision.

'The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.” William James

@Skodhe,

Cheers to Sheep/Poggie and Jaribu for telling it forthright......and to young parents who harbour ambitions of taking kids to boarding primary schools,you just heard it,not from one horse but many...........What a lesson

Old man about town....

@Skodhe
Your son could be in more trouble than you think and he might not be in a position to discuss it with you due to many factors that we as parents cannot understand sometimes.
I once taught in a boarding school,and the kind of things i saw there...i promised never to take my young kids to a boarding school until they mature enough to take care of themselves and until i've established a healthy & trusting relationship with them. It's quite devastating but parents never seem to understand it coz all they look at is the performance side of the school. This particular school is a very well known and excellent performing school and takes kids as young as 8yrs. Pressure boils in to the kids from all corners,Culture shock...boarding life...environment..and worst of all,the teachers are also under pressure from the management/board to keep the school standards high,thus take down the pressure on the kids. The older kids take down the pressure on the younger kids & new comers..and the younger kids and new comers have nobody to turn to,and they persevere the hard times until a solution comes by.
Does your son have an auntie/uncle/cousin he can talk to?maybe he thinks all you'll do is go to the school and raise hell,then leave him in the same school! Maybe,he doesnt want to go back there..but since he has seen how hard you work towards his education and doesnt want to disappoint you,yet he's hurting inside. Kids naturally tend to put others before them btw. Bad stuff happens in boarding schools btw,and sometimes children are under pressure from their trouble sources to never tell a soul. Ever wondered why child abusers are mostly the closest people to the kid/those who spend most time with them? Children take threats very seriously and are usually more concerned about the consequences thus prefer to suffer in silence than suffer the unknown. Someone very close could be responsible for your son's blank gaze..

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't..

@Skodhe,

i have decided to revist this post coz it's very emotional as it involves a totally innocent kid whom your gut feeling as a dad is convinced beyond any doubt that there is something wrong. as a parent,you can tell just by looking at your kid that there's something gnawing his/her inner soul. on how to got about it,i dispute what jay r said,with all due respect and concur with leona. your son will not easily open up despite all the tricks you apply as a dad. i would suggest,like leona you use a third party,probably your son's favourite uncle or aunt. that way,he's more likely to open up-no matter how little-than when a parent is concerned. another way to get into his head and heart is using his best friend,mostly boys of the same age to play that game whereby they ask each othe about personal questions,what one likes or hates in school etc. then you can pick it up from there. the third option is to ask the school especially non teaching staff,eg cateress,groundsmen,cleaners etc. some of them can easily be frank if they know any scadalous activities going on. alternatively,just transfer the kid if you don't trust the school instead of taking risks! keep us posted and good luck!


bY aNy MeAns NecEsSaRy.....

@jaribu. I agree what i said might not work on all cases,but i have seen it work on several occasions. Anything that could help out the guy and his son is okay with me. In one of the above cases,all the close friends of the boy went to the same school,same academy and also attended the same Taekwondo classes. The parents would talk to the boy's friends but they always said everything was alright,even when they knew one of their big buddies was responsible for the little boy's miseries.So the parents invested time in knowing their son and in a month's time the boy had opened enough for them to put the pieces together.They continued talking to him for quite sometime,he finally narrated the whole ordeal to them.All this time,the friends kept their silence. It's like kids practice ormeta. It's not fool-proof,but it's worth trying. I rest my case.

When i see my purple,you see it not.