Latest reports at CNN:
"News just in reaching us at this
very moment is that there are a
couple of dangerous citizens who
are said to be planning a very
serious attack on Kenyan soil during
their 1st ever election
under the new constitution. The
names of these citizens and the
weapons they possess have been
revealed to CNN as the following:
a) Dj Bunduki - Armed with
Grenades looking like headphones
and disks with sound effects of
bullets and
breaking glass, may sometimes be
heard saying "ikibamba sana wapi
nduru weuweeeee"
b) Risasi - almost the same as the
above, but not as dangerous as him.
Is not commonly known since he is
mostly under ground
c) Cannibal - said to be a
carnivorous man, i.e may eat
people at any time. His weapons of
mass destruction are his teeth.
d) DNA - said to be inciting kenyans
by carrying what kenyans call
"fimbo" and chanting "fimbo chapa"
e) Jaguar - this citizen is said to be
using his hand to slap people on
their behalf. This is proven by the
fact that he is heard saying
"nawapigia
makofi....eeeh....makofi....eeeh....makofi
eeeeh"
CNN will keep you up to date with
this latest trending report. Stay
tuned