Girlfriend to boyfriend.........only 1 kiss and i will be yours forever.

Boyfirend..... thanks for the warning.

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day,a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address or postcode. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read:
Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow,living on a very small pension.
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had £100 in it,which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. Next Sunday is my birthday,and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money,I have nothing to buy food with,have no family to turn to,and you are my only hope..
Please help me?
Sincerely,Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few pounds. By the time he made the rounds,he had collected £96,which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.
The rest of the day,all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
A few days later,another letter came addressed to God and in the same hand. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read:
Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love,I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way,there was £4 missing. I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.
Sincerely,
Edna

'Make everything as simple as possible,but not simpler.'
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop; with
them are their 8
children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes.
When the bus
arrives,they find it overloaded and only the wife and
her eight
children are able to fit in the bus. So the husband
and the blind man decide to walk. After a while the
husband gets irritated by the ticking of the
stick of the blind man and says to him: 'Why don't
you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick,
that ticking sound is driving me crazy!!'


>The blind man replies: 'If you would've put a rubber
on the end of
YOUR stick,we'd be sitting in the bus,so shut
up!!!!'


'Until the lions have their historians,tales of hunting will always depict the hunter as a brave man.'

heaven is when u have german car,american salary,chinese food and indian wife,

hell is when u have chinese car,german food,american wife and indian salary.

A little boy asks his father one day,dad where did i get all my intelligence from ?

Father replies,well son must have been your mother casue i still have mine.

Meaning of marriage for a woman :

Sacrificing admiration of many men for the criticism of one man!

KISS is key to start SEX from top floor. if you pass then you go to 2nd floor to play BASKETBALL. if you pass then you go to ground floor to play SNOOKER.

Sam : why are you heating the knife ?

Bob : to do suicide.

Sam : but why are you heating it ?

Bob : to prevent infecion.

If u want to be happy with a man,,,love him less and understand him more... and If u want to be happy with a woman,,,love her more and never try to understand her....

SEXYPEAR.................

@ Hello,Kwani all your jokes are about sex?