C & P

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.. .

"You all have obsessions ,"he observed. To the first mother, Mary, he said,"You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.

"He turned to the second Mom, Ann:"Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.

"He turns to the third Mom, Joyce:"Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers."Come on, Joystick, we' re leaving!"

Borrow money from a pessimist.They don't expect it back.
I never forget a face but in your case I'll make an exception.

The linguistics professor decided to spice up his lecture by comparing languages to mathematics. As he scribbled examples on the board, he explained how both math and languages had positives and negatives.

"In both math and language, two negatives, when combined, make a positive. However," he droned on, "in math or
language two positives never make a negative."

From the back row of the room one student sighed, "Yeah, right."

Me too.