This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations! ):

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'

Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect. '

Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'

Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'

Caller: 'They disappeared'

Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'

Caller: 'Nothing.'

Operator: 'Nothing??'

Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'

Caller: 'How do I tell?'

Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'

Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'

Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'

Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'

Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'

Caller: 'What's a monitor?'

Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'

Caller: 'I don't know.'

Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'

Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'

Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

Caller: 'Yes, it is.'

Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? '

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'

Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'

Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer..'

Caller: 'I can't reach.'

Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'

Caller: 'No..'

Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean
way over?'
Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.'

Operator: 'Dark?'

Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'

Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'

Caller: 'I can't.'

Operator: 'No? Why not?'

Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'

Operator: 'A power ...... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?'

Caller: 'Well,yes,I keep them in the closet.'

Operator: Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'

Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'

Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'

Operator:'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'

a certain girls private school in Nairobi recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of form 3 girls use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.Every night, the matron would remove them and the next day... See More, the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the matron. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the matron who had to clean the mirrors every night.To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the matron to show the girls how much effort was required. The matron took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet bowl and cleaned the mirror with it.

THE MARRIAGE TEST.

I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year,and
so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my
friends encouraged me.and my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed. That one
thing was her younger sister.. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty
years of age, wore tight miniskirts, and low cut blouses. She would
regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her
underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near
anyone else.

One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the
wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me
that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me
that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She
told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got
married and committed my life to her older sister.

I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going
upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come
up and get me."
I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the
stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw
them down the stairs at me.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front
door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house and walked
straight towards my car.

My future Father-in-Law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes
he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our
little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter.
Welcome to the family...!"


The moral of this story is ...........................

ALWAYS KEEP YOUR CONDOMS IN YOUR CAR .... !.

@ brav the interview noma sana!!

An old pastor lay dying. He sent a message for a Kenya Revenue
Authority (KRA) agent and his lawyer to come to the hospital.
When they arrived, they were ushered up to his room. As they entered
the room, the pastor held out his hands and motioned for them to sit
on each side of the bed. The pastor grasped their hands, sighed
contentedly, smiled, and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one
said anything.
Both the KRA agent and lawyer were touched and flattered that the old
man would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were
also puzzled because the pastor had never given any indication that he
particularly liked either one of them.

Finally, the Lawyer asked, 'Pastor, why did you ask the two of us to
come here?'

The old pastor mustered all his strength, and then said weakly, 'Jesus
died between two thieves, and that's how I'd like to go.'

@ wendz, nice video on facebook. Something noted, on that facebook page, is one of those names yours? Wazuanites can now narrow down on your identity....

The Football Association today proudly unveiled Total, f*** and UPS as the
new sponsors of the England football team. 'The combination of these three
corporate giants perfectly captures the ethos of the England side,' said an
FA spokesman. 'After all, they had nothing in the tank when it counted, and
they've proved themselves to be a bunch of expensive posers who always fail
to deliver.'

The new shirts come in a range of bright 'easy to spot' colours after claims
from England players that the old kit was painted in 'magic invisible ink'
which made it impossible to pick out an easy and obvious pass to a team
mate. The new shirts are also made of a super lightweight material, unlike
the old tops which were apparently made of extra-heavy chain mail which left
the Premiership stars lumbering around looking exhausted and unfit.

However, one criticism has been made of the design of the new England kit
with claims that the neck hole was inexplicably too small for the heads of
the Premiership stars. Players say this will make it very hard to pull the
shirt off during an over-exuberant goal celebration, but a spokesman for the
manufacturers said 'we don't envisage this being a problem.'
[GOOGLEWIDGET][/GOOGLEWIDGET]

A man and his wife quarreled and had a fight.

After the fight, the wife went into the bedroom.

A few minutes later, the husband also trooped into the bedroom and only to find the wife busy packing her suitcase.

He asked "You are packing! Where are you going??"

She answered "To my mother!" The man paused for a while and also got his big brown pure leather suitcase and started packing his clothes.

The wife angrily stared at him and said "You are packing! Where are you going?" He replied " Oh ya! I am going to my mother!" The wife says: "To your mother? And what about the children! Who is going to look after them?"

The man "You are going to your mother! Fine. I am also going to my mother. The children also should go to their mother"

The woman did not continue with her packing.

C & P

Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:

1) Argued over nothing.

2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.

3) Gained weight.

4) Talked excessively without making sense.

5) Became overly emotional.

6) Couldn't drive.

7) Failed to think rationally.

8) Had to sit down while urinating.

No further testing was considered necessary...

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax -- OH MY GOD!" Silence followed and after a few minutes, the Captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilt it on my lap. You should see the front of my pants! A passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing, he should see the back of mine!"