C&P and #hiding....

Four surgeons are having a coffee break.
1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is colour coded."
4th surgeon says "I prefer Man U fans. They're gutless, spineless, heartless and their heads are interchangeable."

We we kwisha. From them being landed on to this. Wii.

Amenyangaywa password na mzee!!!

UTAJUAJE WEWE NI MZEE???

- Kama unajua ulifanya Science ikiwa na
Agriculture, na GHCRE... Wewe ni mhenga.

- Kama ulicheki tv ukajua Inspekta Mwala ako na brother anaitwa Likobe...
Tafadhali usiulize nywele nyeupe hutoka wapi.

- Kama ulitumia 5bob, 10bob na 20bob za noti...Anza kupanga mazishi yako pris.

- Kama ulipanda matatu zile watu huangaliana....Nani, kubali tu.

- Kama uliwatch tv channel inaitwa STV na bado unaandika X badala ya S....Mboss maombi kwako!

- Kama picha yako ya ID sio coloured... We ni analogue. Na kama ID yako haiingi kwa wallet...Pea wengine nafasi wazaliwe!

- Kama ulikunywa soda inaitwa Softa na Babito, na juice ya Tree Top... Uko pale pale.

- Kama Primo ulifanya 8 subjects, deactivate your facebook account uanzishe familia.

- Kama uliona kipindi ya Tausi, Maria de Los angeles, na movie ya mbwa ingine hapo inaitwa Rex... Shikamoo babu/bibi.

- Kama ushawahi pelekwa date kwa hoteli mkasomea menu nje... Wewe na akina Ole Kaparo na Ole Ntimama ni agemates.

- Kama unatambua zile era za kupigwa picha then unaingoja for a whole month ndio itoke... Mzeiya umekula chumvi, masala, chili, n.k.

- Kama ulinunua tule tu biscuits twa round twa kuuzwa peni moja... Wewe uliona Noah akitengeneza Ark!!

Lunch at a Meru hotel...

During a robbery in a bank, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move, The money belongs to the State, Your life belongs to you. "Everyone in the bank lay down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking. When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: "Please be civilised! This is a robbery and not a rape!"This is called "Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do! When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA- trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 inprimary school): "Big bros, let's count how much we got."The older robber rebutted and said: "You are very stupid. There is so much money, it will take us a long time to count Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"This is called "Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications! After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly But the supervisor said to him: "Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”. This is called "Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavourable situation to your advantage! The supervisor says: "It will be good if there is a robbery every month. This is called "Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job. The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted, counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: "We risked our lives and only took $20million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!"This is called "Knowledge is worth as muchas gold! "The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery. This is called "Seizing the opportunity.”

Wendzzzzz, smh.

1. Hata panga iwe kali aje haiwezi kata kiu.
2. Hata uwe na magari mia, choo utaenda miguu
3. Hata uwe fundi aje huwezi repair breaking news
4. Hata uwe mweupe aje shadow yako bado itakuwa nyeusi
5. Hata nyani awe mtaalamu vipi hawezi rukia branch ya
bank

7. Hata redio yako iwe noma aje haiwezi shika police station
8. Hata uwe kinyozi hodari aje huwezi nyoa vichwa vya
habari
9. Hata uzame vipi huwezi toka na samaki katika dimbwi la
mapenzi
10. Hata ujifanye mgumu aje najua umesmile kidogo

When a woman dies, God asks the angels: "Was she married?" If the answer is 'Yes', He says "Take her straight to heaven, she's already been through hell!"