Tis amazing that 6 years after this thread ianze, the manenos are still going on daily.
Dealing with these wagondii in their new blue Rivatex cotton outfits leaves a very sour taste in the mouth.
Whoever said that owning a car has now become a crime is so right.
Juzi
nilishikwo and it was a terrible experience. But before I get into the details, my worst experience with these guys prior to juzi happened hapo junction ya Southern Bypass na Ngong Road a few years ago. And it had nothing to do with speeding.
So there I was driving shwaa from MSA rd trying to make it to the Lavi area via the bypass. Bahati mbaya i confused which exit to take and ended up taking the one that leads to Ngong town. When I realised my mistake it was too late. So I made a very slight U-turn over the "yellow zebra lines) back onto the city-bound direction of Ngong road.
That is where my fate was sealed. My goose was cooked. My tumbos were fried!
What actually did me in was that back then, Ngong road traffic at Lenana was bwaad. So there I was was stuck in traffic already dreaming of what will be for dinner once I get home.
Wapi?
A few cars behind me, I hear a loud voice talking on a walkie talkie asking, "gari ni gani, ni huyu?" while tapping the boot of the car behind me. He then swiftly moves forward and taps mine before asking the same question. "Eeh ndiye huyo!" comes the terrible, crackling voice from the walkie talkie. Two hungry-looking afandes then walk to my window, tap it noisly, and as soon as I lower the window, the one with the unmistakable Rift Valley accent slams his palm on the side of my door and with a sweeping hand gesture orders me to "Toka barabara, weka gari kando."
The funny part is that his colleague, who was now in the middle of the road ahead of me. Stood up straight at attention and did a mocking full police salute to me in the middle of the traffic as if I was a VIP as all this was happening
At this point the scare tactics began. "Ghichana unachua umefanya magosa gubwa sana!" The officer looked no more than 32 years old. "Funghuwa ghari twende Gharen Bolis station." Naive me opened for him. Long story short. He threatened me with cash bail of 10k or I lala ndani until I get it. Then shook me down for 6k (I did not even know how much cash bail was back then). I had no cash but thankfully had MPESA. I found it interesting that an MPESA shop was conveniently located right within Karen Police Station for exactly that purpose.
As soon as I paid, the grey-suited officer in charge of the station came out to personally give me a mocking "kijana fuata sheria next time or else!"
This left a really sour taste in my mouth even though I knew I had done the wrong thing.
Haya so juzi I was driving on one of Kenya's major highways. MInding my business and well below the speed limit (110kph). Wapi?
Kwa roadblock the askari makes sure he stops me by walking to the middle of the road to prevent me from fleeing
Hapo kando he pulls out the typical scribbled with biro paper showing me I was doing 113kph. I think the mistake I made was not to dish whatever small amount of cash immediately he stopped me, because I believe they show that piece of paper to anybody who does not!
I saw many cars stop and dish and keep moving, PSVs especially.
As soon as I lowered the window he said "jambo" and hesitated (I think waiting for me to dish.) When he saw I was not dishing..then came the ka-paper. Then the request to go to a battered metal police hut huko nyuma. Cash bail I was told was 5k. Inside, a very very fat woman in the rivatex blue was there. Two other askaris seated negotiating for bribes with other motorists who had been shikwod.
Long story short, they shook me down again for several k. Extortion pure and simpo.
Then, incredibly, at the next roadblock..I was stopped again! This time nilitoa 150 chap chap and was on my way!
I was wise enough this time not to argue with the law (literally and figuratively)
T.I.K. This is Kenya!
Age and family mellows us all over time