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he is the biological father of my daughter and i cannot stand him
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mlokole
#1 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2009 12:45:00 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 8/10/2009
Posts: 16
i need help

how do i handle a colleague who happen to be the father of my daugther?

we work together and i cannot stand the guy. but the daughter,i dearly love



mimi ni wa Yesu milele na Milele
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Mpenzi
#2 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2009 12:58:00 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 10/17/2008
Posts: 1,234
Since at one point you were into him to the extent of getting pregnant,you simply have to get round to enduring his presence for the sake of your daughter. You can't change the fact that he is the father and your daughter has a right to establish a relationship with him.
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Vogue
#3 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2009 12:59:00 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 2/17/2009
Posts: 7
Matters of the heart are very complicated. . . If you want to make your life bearable,don't forcus on the bad in him,that way what you don't like in him will dissapear.
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MaichBlack
#4 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2009 1:08:00 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/22/2009
Posts: 7,701
We have to be practical with some of these issues. Agree with him that you and him are done (if you are) and then work out an elaborate plan on how each of you will spend time with the young girl and support her (financially,emotionally etc.) without stepping on each others toes. Respect each other - It is possible to have respect even without affection - and everything ought to be alright.
And separate your work life from your 'domestics'.
Never count on making a good sale. Have the purchase price be so attractive that even a mediocre sale gives good returns.
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The Real Shaft
#5 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2009 1:08:00 PM
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Joined: 11/19/2008
Posts: 839
am dying to know......

I'm the real Massey F.....shut your mouth
I'm the real Massey Fergu...... Shut your mouth....
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mlokole
#6 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2009 1:21:00 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 8/10/2009
Posts: 16
Gee. its not that easy,that guy,i cannot stand him,i am always thinking of how i can hammer that head.




mimi ni wa Yesu milele na Milele
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FundamentAli
#7 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2009 1:24:00 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 11/4/2008
Posts: 1,289
Location: Nairobi
Introduce him to your new boyfriend.

Fundamentals + Sentiments = Position
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Ken K
#8 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2009 1:26:00 PM
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Joined: 10/19/2006
Posts: 84
Next time,keep it closed...
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mlokole
#9 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2009 1:26:00 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 8/10/2009
Posts: 16
Guys Guys

I am not a lady. I am a man pls


mimi ni wa Yesu milele na Milele
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Engine
#10 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2009 1:27:00 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 4/26/2008
Posts: 90
Why? What does he do that irritates you? Ama he is curtailing some of you extra-curricular activities in the office? Wacha mambo yako wewe...


Engine
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Mtu Biz
#11 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2009 1:28:00 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 1/16/2007
Posts: 1,320

Hmm Tricky,you cant stand him,he's your baby daddy,he's your workmate... very tricky indeed. I guess the most logical thing to do in this case is to pick up the phone early tomorrow morning and immediately call Maina Kageni and carefully explain your issue. He and thousands of his audience will freely give personal accounts of how they tackled similar issues in their own life.

..... the sons of Zeruiah .....
Sola Scriptura
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mlokole
#12 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2009 1:29:00 PM
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Joined: 8/10/2009
Posts: 16
You rushed to conclude that I am a lady.

No. I am not.

I meant. He had a child with the lady am married to


mimi ni wa Yesu milele na Milele
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FundamentAli
#13 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2009 1:30:00 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 11/4/2008
Posts: 1,289
Location: Nairobi
Where does he come in your family life? Tell your wife to tell him to keep off.

Fundamentals + Sentiments = Position
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Mpenzi
#14 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2009 1:32:00 PM
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Joined: 10/17/2008
Posts: 1,234
Mlokole
which head do u want to hammer? small one for competing with yours?
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Ken K
#15 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2009 1:35:00 PM
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Joined: 10/19/2006
Posts: 84
Mlokole,

I like your ownership,pole bwana. Pull his gololis one day and it sure will make you feel retributed.
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mlokole
#16 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2009 1:35:00 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 8/10/2009
Posts: 16
Jameni.

Wacheni kuonge a maneno ingine. Mimi muokovu


mimi ni wa Yesu milele na Milele
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wote
#17 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2009 1:36:00 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 10/18/2007
Posts: 217
Mlokole,i thought you were doing some shylocking business'''?.

@Mtu Biz calling Maina Kageni will almost make things really bad,why do i think so? he will tell our dear brother to let 'Mama na Mtoto' go back to daddy.


wote
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Wendz
#18 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2009 1:37:00 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/19/2008
Posts: 4,268
ooooops! but well,that was their past. you are her present. forget the bloc and concentrate on your family. Whatever happened happened... does he know you take care of his daughter now? what happens to those family day outs that companies sponsor? but its can pose an awkward scenario i must admit!!

Some deals are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.
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MaichBlack
#19 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2009 1:37:00 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/22/2009
Posts: 7,701
@ Mlokole - Now this issue of yours has just taken a new twist - you being a man. What can't you stand? The fact that he is the biological father of your daughter,the fact that he used to date your current wife or you can't stand him as a fellow employee. These are very different problems with very different solutions. You first have to make up your mind where the actual problem is!
Never count on making a good sale. Have the purchase price be so attractive that even a mediocre sale gives good returns.
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Much Know
#20 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2009 1:37:00 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 12/6/2008
Posts: 3,567
Are you asking because your in a position to influence his employment there or what? Are you asking whether you should get this guy sacked? I can so no other logical conclusion to the situation as you are presenting to us. Reasoning:-
1.You can't stand the guy,but work together,you can't do anything about him working there,obvious conclusion,continue as you are,nothing to help here.
2.You can't stand the guy,but work together,you can do something (influence sacking,sabotage,maliza him e.t.c)about him working there,obvious conclusion,should i do something?
If so,chunga sana.

Ninajua Yote!
Ras Kienyeji Man
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