[quote=alma]Sure I don’t have a phd in security. Or a degree from St. Pauls University where you get a degree in 1 yr. I’m not a cop and will never work for anything I consider to be “establishment”.

But

There is a problem in this country called security that I think is very important, At least for me. Last night I gave some fellows my “new” phone….unwillingly. Will I report? We have another thread for that somewhere on wazua.

My concern is very simple.

I know I don’t feel safe and I know you don’t either. But I don’t think Kenyan security is as bad as security in the USA. Then how come I feel safer in the Dorchester than in Nairobi?

In Dorchester, MA, if you walk into a house or a project or what in Kenya we call Kibera, when you come back out, you won’t have tires. Been there and I have proof.

If you are like jaggernaut at bendover night, some kid who’s 15 will shoot your crystal balls off. It will be a real experience, not like Senator Murkomen’s tweets vs Mutua Makau.

It’s not safe in America and Kiash knows that. It’s safer in Kenya, even with travel advisories. When you meet MS-13 you will know that Mungiki is a political tool.

@ecstacy, can you explain why this evil America sends travel advisories to Mombasa but when the teacher’s union and the doctor’s union say “no security, no work in Mandera”, its ok? But Tycho will open a thread for that.

My concern is about security

You secure a place before
You secure a place during
You secure a place after

It’s like sex actually.

I love sex…..honestly I do…It feels very good. But damn, I don wanna die.

If you don’t want to get Aids, you can safeguard yourself by becoming Pastor Mukiri or Imam Alphdoti. That’s where NSIS comes in.

You can also deal with the issue immediately by using a condom. Just like Atalaku with his small breasted mkamba women. That’s where the police come in.

Or after shit happens, you take ARV’s. You don’t want to be there, but since you are there it doesn’t mean that you lie down and die. You call in the Army.

But

Have you noticed something that’s a bit strange here?

When I used to be attacked in my gishagi, everyone knew the family of thieves who did it. It’s the best way to protect you. For example, dunkang has told us the mathrees in 44 which have thugs for touts. Yaani he knows them. If he sees them, he can identify them.

But how can a policeman walk in the streets with a picture from dunkang and expect to find the thug?

Murchr will tell us that we all have nyumba kumi and a card to enter a matatu.

The problem still remains.

Who is the thug?

My proposal to President Uhuru Kenyatta, who comes to Wazua, is simple. Like yeah right; just because you say you’re digital doesn’t make you so.

Forget about nyumba kumi. It’s fine you will give Ole Lenku his MBS anyway for coming up with nyumba kumi..Lakini.

Security starts with identification of people.

Tycho will hate me for saying this…But that’s the best way to get thugs…It’s unfortunately also the best way to get people you hate who are not thugs. Mr. President, if you don’t know me, you will never get me.

Ask Itumbi with his fake PSCU accounts. We knew it was him. We identified his footprint and the rest is a hashtag.

Solution:

Get every Kenyan a pin number.

By force if you have to. In the USA it’s called a Social Security Number.

Next step…..Make sure that there is no way to transact business without an SSN. Just no way.

This simple system which Christians will one day call the 666 or 777 number works miracles. It’s one of those numbers, I’m not really Christian but I’m sure Kanyari knows it and its not 310.

Stop wasting time with nyumba kumi coz ain’t no way I will spy on my neighbor. And I have no interest in him/her knowing what I do for a living and how many malayas atalaku has shagged. Hiyo haiwezekani.

Mr. President, we are broke. It will take us just a few years to learn how to sue the gov’t and make money. You can’t spy on me and expect to get rid of the chapter in my constitution about the right to life and the other on the right to privacy.

Identify us.

That Kenyan ID is so Neanderthal is stupid.

Do you know how many times I’ve been taken to those courts for not wearing a seatbelt?

I was fingerprinted, by a cop who I refused to bribe, and he asked me “have you ever been fingerprinted?” I asked him “kweli haujui?” Oh just in case you think that’s a weak point in my life, that cop was fired and I was told by the Judge to go home and she apologized to me for being harassed.


When I’m pulled over for not wearing a seatbelt, they ask me for my name and I say Kingfisher Famooz or Chemos of Egypt…depending on the cop. In some countries I’m what we call a repeat offender. In Kenya, I’m called 500 bob.

Security starts with me.

But you have no idea who I am.

Mr. President. You were in Amherst, so your historians will say. I know you have an SSN. You know it works.

Implement that first. Hii ingine is wasting time.

How are you going to identify a Kenyan Somali vs a Somalian Somali. Even now we say on wazua that Moha jicho Pevu is from Somalia. And Ahmednassir is from Ethiopia…simply because even the Somalis don’t like him.

At the rate we are going at, the Jafferson riots will be kidogo sana in comparison. I hate kikuyus, burn them in a church. I hate luos, circumcise them. I hate Muslims, tweet like Moses Kuria vs Rairaaaaa.


It’s because we have no idea who a real Kenyan is. Even Matsanga the Pan Africanist is a Kenyan now. You will find him at intercon behaving like a Kenyan. I really hope you have paid that guy for the ICC crap. He has to eat somehow.

Let’s start deciding on who we are.

I support the number of the devil in all our activities. Call it pin, ssn or whatever but tell me who I am. And track me.

Discuss…..Without a hashtag

This is my official application for the position of IG. Someone has to take it seriosly even though I'm still in the tendrils of jaggernauts FAXE.
[/quote

Boss,
You are either too creative or too idle. No hating time.

How will a simple social number help identify us unlike ID?

There is an exciting field in IT called Business Analytics or Business Intelligence. You use different techniques to discover insights from 'big data'.

With unique identification numbers that you use everywhere even when buying airtime and chewing gum and which are associated with everything including your sim card, we can technologically discover patterns that place certain people around certain types of crimes and we can even predict who the criminals are and where they might strike next even without ever meeting them.

Google 'Business Analytics', 'Business Intelligence', 'Business Analytics and Security' etc. Exciting field. SSN type of numbers would go a long way in security enhancement. We could even map huge ' abnormal' expenses or bank deposits to certain crimes - like every time there is a murder in Gachie, mawinder's SSN experiences a spike in expenditure. Or a certain group of people when together - as per the location of their sim cards we normally experience a car/matatu Jerking. Or when a certain group of people have their sim cards not in motion out of the ordinary - probably left at home to avoid detection - a crime happens. And this are just simple examples. It gets more interesting!

@ecstacy you will be surprised to hear that I totally hate this biodata nonsense.

Just read what maichblack has said and compare. I know it looks the same but it isn't.

Biodata and I'm sure Tycho will agree with me is the begining of the end to personal freedoms. I personally will not give any gov't my dna....that I promise you. Nitahama TZedi.

My biodata is my property and I can't hand it over to gov't. @ecstacy, can you imagine Rairaaa wins in 2017 by a fluke and he holds your dna?

I'm talking about an identity number similar to what's used in USA, Canada, Uk and the rest of the world.

That is enough without infringing on my rights. If you want a job, what's your ssn? Then a centralised place for the information.

Note please for people like me and Ngong who care about privacy.

The SSN number is there and available for specific purposes not to be used like a rungu to finish Muslims or "terrorists". The defination of terrorists changes with the gov't of the day.

If want to get house, my potential landlord has information from my ssn on my last rent bill paid....Not everything like where I spent last friday at.....

What this gov't is proposing is worse than colonialism and Kenyans died for it.

An SSN doesn't infringe on my rights. Works better than nyumba kumi. And Actually works as maichblack has explained.

Sometimes the simple solutions work better than trying to make everyone a spy.

kiash.guys in Kenya are joking. The last time I was in a police post I had to go out and buy a kalamu for them to write in the OB.

What the f*** is an OB in 2014.

Stop digitizing PSCU on twirra....Digitize information. But now since we are finishing Bitange Ndemo, we shall have these problems forever.

Mr. President, I'm a citizen. I will tell you what you don't want to hear. Unless you digitize information in the security system, there is no way to secure your house from a rat infestation.

That stupid number is easy to implement in Kenya as is...Forget about the names...What's your kra pin? Simple and effective.

Rais

Tafakari hayo and I hope they also don't filter your internet.

Lakini mambo ya biodata ni ujinga. Americans will never use it. The people who will use it are corporates.

Or use my ID number for all transactions. Then change the laws to say I can't even buy Faxe beer without an SSN. The cops will love you for it.