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Rank: Member Joined: 3/29/2011 Posts: 102 Location: Nairobi,Kenya
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As we do,think,business lets have sense of humor************************************************** A REAL KIKUYU Njoroge buys a cow from Ole Bogani for Sh 20,000 and asks him to deliver it the next day. The next day Ole Bogani shows up at Njoroge's doorstep. " Sorry Njoroge but the cow died last night." "OK", says Njoroge, " Give me my money back". " Sorry, I have already spent it," said Ole Bongani. "Goodness gracious!.. iha ngombe?, bring me the dead cow," says Njoroge. "I'll know what to do". The next morning, the carcass is delivered to Njoroge. A fortnight later, Ole Bongani bumps into Njoroge and asks him what he did with the dead cow. "Oh, I entered a raffle for it to be won, and sold 150 tickets at Sh 500 each and made a profit of Sh 75,000 I just didn't tell anybody that the cow was dead". "But didn't people complain?" asks Ole Bongani in amazement. "Only the guy who won, so I gave him his Sh 500 back". One reason to say "Najivunia kuwa Mugikuyu"
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Rank: Member Joined: 11/18/2010 Posts: 503 Location: Kenya
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/4/2008 Posts: 1,703
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nwamaina wrote:As we do,think,business lets have sense of humor************************************************** A REAL KIKUYU Njoroge buys a cow from Ole Bogani for Sh 20,000 and asks him to deliver it the next day. The next day Ole Bogani shows up at Njoroge's doorstep. " Sorry Njoroge but the cow died last night." "OK", says Njoroge, " Give me my money back". " Sorry, I have already spent it," said Ole Bongani. "Goodness gracious!.. iha ngombe?, bring me the dead cow," says Njoroge. "I'll know what to do". The next morning, the carcass is delivered to Njoroge. A fortnight later, Ole Bongani bumps into Njoroge and asks him what he did with the dead cow. "Oh, I entered a raffle for it to be won, and sold 150 tickets at Sh 500 each and made a profit of Sh 75,000 I just didn't tell anybody that the cow was dead". "But didn't people complain?" asks Ole Bongani in amazement. "Only the guy who won, so I gave him his Sh 500 back". One reason to say "Najivunia kuwa Mugikuyu" Think Positive Test Negative
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/4/2008 Posts: 1,703
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nwamaina wrote:As we do,think,business lets have sense of humor************************************************** A REAL KIKUYU Njoroge buys a cow from Ole Bogani for Sh 20,000 and asks him to deliver it the next day. The next day Ole Bogani shows up at Njoroge's doorstep. " Sorry Njoroge but the cow died last night." "OK", says Njoroge, " Give me my money back". " Sorry, I have already spent it," said Ole Bongani. "Goodness gracious!.. iha ngombe?, bring me the dead cow," says Njoroge. "I'll know what to do". The next morning, the carcass is delivered to Njoroge. A fortnight later, Ole Bongani bumps into Njoroge and asks him what he did with the dead cow. "Oh, I entered a raffle for it to be won, and sold 150 tickets at Sh 500 each and made a profit of Sh 75,000 I just didn't tell anybody that the cow was dead". "But didn't people complain?" asks Ole Bongani in amazement. "Only the guy who won, so I gave him his Sh 500 back". One reason to say "Najivunia kuwa Mugikuyu" Think Positive Test Negative
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/20/2007 Posts: 4,432
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Jose: If I make it through this thug life, I'll see you one day. The Lord is the only way to stop the hurt.
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Rank: Member Joined: 3/29/2011 Posts: 102 Location: Nairobi,Kenya
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ubject: KCPE COMPOSITION - Nyakemincha Primary Schhol BEST COMPOSITION FROM NYAKEMINCHA PRIMARY SCHOOL – Minister Ongeri’s backyard I was asleep. The jogoo shouted three times, I opened one eye and left the other to sleep abit. I was wishing I had slept with my uniforms putted on, but I realised if wishes were chickens beggars would been layin eggs. I woke up with only one eye open n and I was looking where the karai was put I wash my face. I found some cotton which I used to burn the jiko and cook a chai without milk called sturungi. I drank the sturungi haphazardy and hurriendily with a big piece of kiugali which had remained at night. I put on my uniforms and then I painted myself with fat and because there was no kiwi I had to paint my shoes with fat to. I took a paperbag put books and biros then ran my everything, I beated the first corner hardly then as I was beatin the second corner I heard the school bell cry ncgririr nkngrirriririri nckgrrrirrrrr!!! I knew nimelate. When I reached the gate!! You dont want to know!! Mr Mogaka was standin at the gate with a big black nyahunyo. I was so afraid that I almost urinated. I was asked why are you late? I said makaa was poured with water at night teacher asked what has that to do with you coming to school late I told him the jiko was late to burn so it delayed cookin strong he said that is no excuse!! Touch your toes!! I started to remove my shoes so I can touch the toes but he told me I just meant bend, he gave me the first nyahunyo on my buttocks,,hehe it was as hot as a boiling water, I dried that one, he gave me the second one pap!! This one was much hotter n started hearing to cry, when the third one was given to me I heard so much pain that I touched my buttocks, the teacher said you have erased that one!! I will have to give you another one!! When I was given the fourth nyahunyo, tears started getting out of my eyes uncontoullably,, the teacher said, You removing tears for who!! I dont want to see even a smell of tear, ran to class and dont late tomorrow. My buttocks as I went to class were hearing as if sitting in a burning jiko.. I dried the tears because my classmate would laugh at me for crying. When I entered class I walked slowly to my desk and when I tried to sit it was so pain I could not seet. So I seeted on air above my chair holding my desk. From that day I sweya I will never come to school late again even if the makaa was poured on water!!!. Examiners comments: This school should be turned into a tourist attraction. This is a classic case of a comedian in the making. I will refer this student to the African Center for Talented Individuals next to K1. No marks can be awarded as this will negate the whole idea of nurturing county talent.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 5/23/2010 Posts: 868 Location: La Islas Galápagos
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nwamaina wrote:ubject: KCPE COMPOSITION - Nyakemincha Primary Schhol BEST COMPOSITION FROM NYAKEMINCHA PRIMARY SCHOOL – Minister Ongeri’s backyard I was asleep. The jogoo shouted three times, I opened one eye and left the other to sleep abit. I was wishing I had slept with my uniforms putted on, but I realised if wishes were chickens beggars would been layin eggs. I woke up with only one eye open n and I was looking where the karai was put I wash my face. I found some cotton which I used to burn the jiko and cook a chai without milk called sturungi. I drank the sturungi haphazardy and hurriendily with a big piece of kiugali which had remained at night. I put on my uniforms and then I painted myself with fat and because there was no kiwi I had to paint my shoes with fat to. I took a paperbag put books and biros then ran my everything, I beated the first corner hardly then as I was beatin the second corner I heard the school bell cry ncgririr nkngrirriririri nckgrrrirrrrr!!! I knew nimelate. When I reached the gate!! You dont want to know!! Mr Mogaka was standin at the gate with a big black nyahunyo. I was so afraid that I almost urinated. I was asked why are you late? I said makaa was poured with water at night teacher asked what has that to do with you coming to school late I told him the jiko was late to burn so it delayed cookin strong he said that is no excuse!! Touch your toes!! I started to remove my shoes so I can touch the toes but he told me I just meant bend, he gave me the first nyahunyo on my buttocks,,hehe it was as hot as a boiling water, I dried that one, he gave me the second one pap!! This one was much hotter n started hearing to cry, when the third one was given to me I heard so much pain that I touched my buttocks, the teacher said you have erased that one!! I will have to give you another one!! When I was given the fourth nyahunyo, tears started getting out of my eyes uncontoullably,, the teacher said, You removing tears for who!! I dont want to see even a smell of tear, ran to class and dont late tomorrow. My buttocks as I went to class were hearing as if sitting in a burning jiko.. I dried the tears because my classmate would laugh at me for crying. When I entered class I walked slowly to my desk and when I tried to sit it was so pain I could not seet. So I seeted on air above my chair holding my desk. From that day I sweya I will never come to school late again even if the makaa was poured on water!!!. Examiners comments: This school should be turned into a tourist attraction. This is a classic case of a comedian in the making. I will refer this student to the African Center for Talented Individuals next to K1. No marks can be awarded as this will negate the whole idea of nurturing county talent. A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/10/2008 Posts: 9,131 Location: Kanjo
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nwamaina wrote:As we do,think,business lets have sense of humor************************************************** A REAL KIKUYU Njoroge buys a cow from Ole Bogani for Sh 20,000 and asks him to deliver it the next day. The next day Ole Bogani shows up at Njoroge's doorstep. " Sorry Njoroge but the cow died last night." "OK", says Njoroge, " Give me my money back". " Sorry, I have already spent it," said Ole Bongani. "Goodness gracious!.. iha ngombe?, bring me the dead cow," says Njoroge. "I'll know what to do". The next morning, the carcass is delivered to Njoroge. A fortnight later, Ole Bongani bumps into Njoroge and asks him what he did with the dead cow. "Oh, I entered a raffle for it to be won, and sold 150 tickets at Sh 500 each and made a profit of Sh 75,000 I just didn't tell anybody that the cow was dead". "But didn't people complain?" asks Ole Bongani in amazement. "Only the guy who won, so I gave him his Sh 500 back". One reason to say "Najivunia kuwa Mugikuyu" this moved me to tearsi.am.back!!!!
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 7/22/2011 Posts: 1,325
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I read this and laughed till I cried!! Whoever wrote this piece has talent. I wonder if it was an actual KCPE candidate or the blogger, either way mad props. Lemme go finish drinking my sturungi haphazardly and a kiugali http://mtakavitu.wordpre.../best-kcpe-composition/
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/7/2007 Posts: 11,935 Location: Nairobi
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 ......bangi ya Emuhaya! Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
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