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Married People - Should we beware of new constitution?
Rank: Elder Joined: 8/1/2008 Posts: 1,432 Location: Marsabit
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Wewe John what's your problem? Had you discussed about when to get kids beforehand? ama you just assumed she'll want kids the night you married her? Had you made promises to her that you didnt keep?e.g taking her to college.. buying her sijui nini..etc? Have you even married her legally ama ni come-we-stay and she's not comfy bringing kids into the picture under that arrangement? And why does her not working worry you? Should she make babies for you..or break her back working..or both?? Iko kitu missing from your story... Nevermind what haters say, ignore them til they fade away - Just live your life
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Rank: Member Joined: 5/13/2008 Posts: 558
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men sometimes we put ourselves in shit for no good reason. JK u have said it better. What goes around, comes around.
Take back the mother of your 5yr old son and move on. Mambo ya women 5 yrs younger than you wacha. You have put yourself in a very precarious position. If you were to die today - God forbid, your property will be taken by the 23 yr old and your son will come nowhere near. Do you think he would ever forgive u if he found out?
I can imagine that you love your son since you support him "at arms length". How would it be going home to that apartment and finding him instead of whining about some stubborn 23 yr old "roommate" who has refused to have your "imaginary" baby?
A bird in hand is better than 1 million in bush
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 5/8/2007 Posts: 885
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@ john kamau.... you say 'Looks like the best deal is from Pondi who I never thought Id be taking advise from'....... that tells me one thing, you are not new to this forum....am surprised no one has suggested dispatching someone to meet their maker. many men have done. many women have done it too..all to acquire hubby's property
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/22/2009 Posts: 7,452
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@ All - You are all being taken for a ride by this so called "John Kamau". He registered today and he is all about the New Constitution. This is a guy on a campaign mission. Mambo ya wife, son, 21yr old is just bait! Talk about e-marketing! @JK - This issue has disturbed you for a whole year and you are contemplating divorce 5 working days to the referendum? Give me a break! Never count on making a good sale. Have the purchase price be so attractive that even a mediocre sale gives good returns.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/22/2009 Posts: 7,452
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Imagine you are in a city hoppa - standing passenger - umeshikilia wapi? You look like a guy in a javelin competition. Never count on making a good sale. Have the purchase price be so attractive that even a mediocre sale gives good returns.
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 7/28/2010 Posts: 8
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@Leona - If it were come we stay I would not be worried.
@Jaina - I am not seekig divorce in 5 days and @MaichBlack I am not on a campaign mission. Note on the topic I ask a question not make a statement.
As far as the current constitution is concerned there is no problem as proof of contribution is needed otherwise I decide what to share out. Ms Leona (and other wazual ladies) tommorow it may be you whose property is at risk from some unscrupulous guy.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 5/8/2007 Posts: 885
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@jk... yeah staying home to cook, clean, iron your shirts constitutes 'proof of contribution'
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/19/2008 Posts: 4,268
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John Kamau wrote:@Leona - If it were come we stay I would not be worried.
@Jaina - I am not seekig divorce in 5 days and @MaichBlack I am not on a campaign mission. Note on the topic I ask a question not make a statement.
As far as the current constitution is concerned there is no problem as proof of contribution is needed otherwise I decide what to share out. Ms Leona (and other wazual ladies) tommorow it may be you whose property is at risk from some unscrupulous guy. have you tried all other avenues before you decide it is divorce time? have you tried counseling, parents, church etc. And what is her reason of not getting pregnant? Have you discussed your intention of divorce with her on the basis that you want to start a family and it seems you cant start with her? Is she back to school because probably that is what is holding her back and which you can negotiate? Also, the age difference is not helping you hear.... she may feel she is still too young to get children and may be she wants to start her family when she is 28 or so.... she still has time.... may be what she doesn't realise is that your age is also advancing.... You really dont have much of a choice. You will either have to 1. wait until she is ready 2. negotiate and agree on when baby will show up 3. divorce whether under the current or proposed constitution...(and by the way, YOU don't decide what to share) either way, you will part with your property but you can talk to a good lawyer to advise you on how to minimise the loss. 4. good luck in your decision. 5. Other single wazuans, if you are going to get married, consider the age differences..... very important
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 7/28/2010 Posts: 8
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Thank you wendz. You have spoken very well. How old are you if I may ask?
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 10/17/2008 Posts: 1,234
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ehe Wendz - what is the appropriate age difference?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/19/2008 Posts: 4,268
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John Kamau wrote:Thank you wendz. You have spoken very well. How old are you if I may ask? I turned 46 in May this year. @Mpenzi Well, IMO, there i no definate right age difference because different people mature differently but i bet 14 years difference you are in different generations and your thinking is very different. Well, if the lady is, say not more than 5 years, you will most likely be talking at the same level, i bet that can be considered right, but that is my opinion. Again, let me say, it also depends with the maturity(not in year terms) of the lady in question.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,328 Location: Masada
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@Kamau, Wendz is 45... Portfolio: Sold You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.
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Rank: Member Joined: 4/30/2010 Posts: 241
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kamau! no history of courtship???? kama ako hivyo wat abt mother-in-law?? u better strategise an early,smart exit plan now u r in frying pan b4 u get into fire! Ngai baba ukiona choo kwa ndoto usiingie, ni mtego!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/9/2009 Posts: 6,592 Location: Nairobi
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John Kamau wrote: My issue is, does the above mean that i will have to give her half of what I have.
This is the reason why men don't disclose their investments to their wives. But John you are lucky that all your properties are in your name and you don't have kids together. If I were you I'd sell them, convert the cash into dollars or euros and put in a confidential safety deposit box with one of the banks and go through with the divorce. She will never know. BBI will solve it :)
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 7/28/2010 Posts: 8
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We get along very well with her Mother who almost my agemate. (about 4 - 5 years older) than me. She also knows her daughter is nasty. No father tho.
Anyway this was an post on the law which is digressing.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/19/2008 Posts: 4,268
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John Kamau wrote:We get along very well with her Mother who almost my agemate. (about 4 - 5 years older) than me. She also knows her daughter is nasty. No father tho.
Anyway this was an post on the law which is digressing. As in she got the daughter when she was 17 at most? See, am even older than your mother-in-law........ But except not getting a baby, the gal doesnt seem to have any other issues... i thought that was your contentious issue? Plus, yo are the one who wants divorce, not her? so how did she become a gold-digger by the way? sema yote hapa....
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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/9/2009 Posts: 6,592 Location: Nairobi
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Wendz wrote:I turned 46 in May this year. Atî kay!!And all this time I thought you were a ka-spring chicken... BBI will solve it :)
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/22/2009 Posts: 7,452
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John Kamau wrote:We get along very well with her Mother who almost my agemate. (about 4 - 5 years older) than me. She also knows her daughter is nasty. No father tho.
Anyway this was an post on the law which is digressing. And the soap opera continues... Next week... John Alehandro Kamau visits... Never count on making a good sale. Have the purchase price be so attractive that even a mediocre sale gives good returns.
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 6/18/2010 Posts: 95
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John Kamau wrote: Hi All
I make my humble contribution to this website to get your feedback on one issue I have been dealing with.
I married a 21yr old lady 2yrs ago. I am 35. AS always the 1st year was bliss but I got to see her true colours in the last year. Not only has she refused to work but she also refused to get kids (she is medically ok)
My issue is when by the time we got married I had bought a 5ac plot in Syokimau which is in my name. After we got married I took a mortquage in my name to buy the apt we live in. Now I want a divorce. My predicament is this new constitution. CHAPTER FOUR - THE BILL OF RIGHTS Section 45, says Parties to a marriage are entitled to equal rights at the time of the marriage, during the marriage and at the dissolution of the marriage.
My issue is, does the above mean that i will have to give her half of what I have.
This I foresee will be an problem issue for progressive men and women in future esp from gold diggers.
@ kamau You married a gold digger, she sees you strictly as a meal ticket. You can retroactively sign a post nuptial agreement. But I don't understand, why get divorced when you can simply sell the apartment, disappear and get another female. I'm begining to see why you are in this mess, you must not be the loudest bird in the flock!
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Rank: Chief Joined: 3/24/2010 Posts: 6,779 Location: Black Africa
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Dump the daughter and go after the mother. You'll then be her step dad. That will put her in her place. 2012, nice thinking with the safety deposit box. Were you ever to go through a divorce, inaonekana you would lose NOTHING GOD BLESS YOUR LIFE
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