Please don’t invite me to your wedding committee:

1. If it is the first time you are speaking to me after 3 years. If you are not my friend and I am not yours, why are you involving me in your life at this point and time?

2. If you can afford to foot your wedding budget. Asking people to help should be just that help. Not funding your lavish lifestyle.

3. If I have never met your fiancee. That just means that we are not friends. And I will only take time out for my friends, no apologies there.

4. If we have never been friends. Seeing you in church doesn’t mean that you are my friend.

I'm headed that way in a few months and I believe we are saying the same thing in different ways, we seem to agree on most of the core issues.

I'm a firm believer that our wedding is our wedding and no one else's. So I have saved for my entire dowry but my close friends and relatives all want to escort me because I have also walked with them in the past. So I won't begrudge them the opportunity to do so, it would simply unafrican. The extra funds can go to other areas of the wedding preparation.

We have also saved for the wedding and do not want a committee until the last few months strictly for logistic purposes. Quite a number of friends are already asking to be in the committee since they want to play a part, and once again, we won't begrudge them.

If it was up to me I'd only invite close friends and close relaz but our two families are massive and there's a very set extended family social dynamic that we can't ignore....so you find your relatives and parent's friends for both us already number 200 - 300, and that is a modest estimate. That is when a wedding starts stressing a couple and you see them going to such lengths to keep up with the Macharia's whose wealthy parents funded the fairy tale wedding to the cent! Thankfully, ni vizuri kua mtu wa watu, as McDoba asks, who do you hang out with?

Anyway, the long and short of it is that a wedding is very personal but is a social event for genuine close friends and relatives who are genuinely happy for you. The rest who come to see whether it was as high profile as theirs or whatever, those will not be around when you're having a marriage...

I also believe if you have set a good foundation and have put yourself in good stead with the chic's family, there would be person's in the dowry negotiation who would be against you being taken advantage of as the guy. Maybe I'm naive but hayo ndio maoni yangu...

@Smano congrats on your upcoming nuptials.

Word of advise... Arusi si yako, ni ya bibi. Achia bibi na marafiki wake waipange.

Yours is just to offer maximum support on the budget, pay dowry, get vehicles for the day, panga honeymoon and of course show up and enjoy yourself on the big day.

Bora hio very fat gift sio kitambi

Kwani hiyo fat gift ni ya 2k shindwe!