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Why r good men attracted to bad women?
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simonkabz
#1 Posted : Tuesday, October 06, 2009 6:38:00 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2007
Posts: 8,776
Location: Cameroon
I knw of very many cool men who married pure trouble. Why is this so? The mukiha type marriages r very few n almost always survive. The ones which men take totalitarian control kama TRS also go far. Its the subject matter type that form the backbone of local drama,i.e women who dnt blv in the natural order of household seniority......and men r so attached to such and dnt wanna let go.....I think its absolutely crazy. SKerians,y is it so?

Can silence be misquoted?
TULIA.........UFUNZWE!
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carygoh
#2 Posted : Tuesday, October 06, 2009 8:10:00 PM
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Joined: 5/4/2008
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@skabz ni mwanamke kukalia chapati moto bila surwali.and many others
Think Positive Test Negative
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simonkabz
#3 Posted : Wednesday, October 07, 2009 3:47:00 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2007
Posts: 8,776
Location: Cameroon
@karigo,oops! Had 4gotten that one...

Can silence be misquoted?
TULIA.........UFUNZWE!
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Wendz
#4 Posted : Wednesday, October 07, 2009 4:51:00 AM
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Joined: 6/19/2008
Posts: 4,268
@simkabz

Pole sana boss. Happens both ways I think. may be something like opposites attract.... you find a nice lady hooking up with a bad boy and wonder what happened.

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
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adept
#5 Posted : Wednesday, October 07, 2009 5:27:00 AM
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Joined: 12/8/2008
Posts: 359
Probably Mother Nature's way of balancing things. Or the more quoted one on opposites attracting. The reverse is also true and more common i.e. good girls attracted to bad boys.

But there is a twist here: what qualifies a person as 'good'? Remember what they say,not everything is as it appears.
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kizee
#6 Posted : Wednesday, October 07, 2009 5:54:00 AM
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first page of todays nation....now thats a bad chick
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simonkabz
#7 Posted : Wednesday, October 07, 2009 6:13:00 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2007
Posts: 8,776
Location: Cameroon
@wendz,u hav a mega point there. Goodness in this case refers to unquestionable commitment to the relationship and dedication....the bad gals r the 'b****ing' type,drunks who give other men too much company n neva miss the club every wkd kids or no kids....they also neva giv them men an ounce of respect...

Can silence be misquoted?
TULIA.........UFUNZWE!
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ngwono
#8 Posted : Wednesday, October 07, 2009 6:36:00 AM
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Joined: 8/8/2008
Posts: 201
@Skabz

When we talk of good or bad is a matter of judgement.I might think am good or but it could be the opposite.Even the professionals in this area has failed us most of the time and that why we talk of injustice in our nation.

God is the best Judge and He has the right reason why things happen the way they do.I could be a good man/gal but paying some prices of great grand parents.You know what you are doing now will affect your children upto the 4th generation.Some of the curses not unless they are brocken will affect the family lineage for a very long time.

Some detailed analysis in our village shows that most of the people who can be counted as rich had a good family background.Their grand parents used to fear the Lord and somehow God made a covenant with them that he will bless them and their faimilies just like Habraham.Being that God is usually faithful and true to His word He keeps His Covenant.So aman or a lady may be grouped as bad according to me & you but because of Gods abundant grace and mercies things will be working well for him/her



Jesus Said,'If you abide in Me,and My Words abide in you,you will ask what you desire,and it shsll be done for you' (Jhn 15:7)
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Bashka
#9 Posted : Wednesday, October 07, 2009 6:50:00 AM
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Joined: 7/31/2008
Posts: 116
In my culture,they say marriage is like death. You will never know who you'll marry,when and where......
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skodhe
#10 Posted : Wednesday, October 07, 2009 7:01:00 AM
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Joined: 2/3/2009
Posts: 112
They believe bad men are good in ......................... oops


Sleeping like a little baby
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Kamaa
#11 Posted : Wednesday, October 07, 2009 7:17:00 AM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 10/6/2007
Posts: 1,177
Location: Nairobi - Kenya
so many factors have contributed to the decay of many modern marriages...

family set up,how do you expect a wife to obey the orders of the hubby when her own mum doesn't obey her fathers'?

formal jobs,our grandmothers used not to work in formal employments,their major chores revolved around the boma,today you find that a lady of the house is providing more than the man...

politics,everyday you hear of affirmative action or the likes.. these have made many ladies feel like equals with their men when it comes to household issues...

lifestyle,modern men unlike our grandfathers have prioritized 'heppi' than their families,you find that a man can spend over 10 hours working (for the family) and afterward spend another 10 hours (in social places enjoying with pals) and the balance of 4 hours with his family (wife)... for heaven sake how does he expect his marriage to work...???

When you run so fast to get somewhere,you miss the fun of getting there... Life is not a race,so take it slowly....
When you hear what I say, you will not understand. When you see what I do, you will not comprehend
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Mpenzi
#12 Posted : Wednesday, October 07, 2009 7:33:00 AM
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Joined: 10/17/2008
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@Kamaa

Your post suggests that marriages survive only when men oppress their wives and where women are ordered around by their husbands. I hope you dont really mean this.
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Kamaa
#13 Posted : Wednesday, October 07, 2009 7:45:00 AM
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Joined: 10/6/2007
Posts: 1,177
Location: Nairobi - Kenya
@ mpenzi

not at all...

i always advocate for good treatment of our lady folks,but men must first live by example... we make rules and we keep them...e.g if you wonna discourage your wife from coming home late from work (supposing she leaves work in good time) then you must also set an example...

but women are all the same (my dear sisters don't judge me wrong) for if a man is too good for a lady,then majority take it for granted.... as a man you must be ready to instill discipline to the wife asap and where necessary... but it has to be humane..

i am sure a good lady will understand and separate love from discipline...

i stand to be coLLected...

When you run so fast to get somewhere,you miss the fun of getting there... Life is not a race,so take it slowly....
When you hear what I say, you will not understand. When you see what I do, you will not comprehend
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Wendz
#14 Posted : Wednesday, October 07, 2009 8:06:00 AM
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Joined: 6/19/2008
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@ Kamaa

as a man you must be ready to instill discipline to the wife asap and where necessary... but it has to be humane..

Is it 'for a lack of better word' or did you mean exactly that? I would say,if you find it NECESSARY to INSTILL DISCIPLINE to your wife,then things are way out of hand already! If there is a problem i would expect that you two can talk as mature people and have the issue sorted. Unless you married an under-age... ama how did i understand this 'instillation of discipline?'

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
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Engine
#15 Posted : Wednesday, October 07, 2009 8:08:00 AM
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Joined: 4/26/2008
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Bad boys/girls are mysterious(you can't tell what they will do next) hence the thrill unlike good ones who are predictable hence 'boring'

Engine
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Mpenzi
#16 Posted : Wednesday, October 07, 2009 8:12:00 AM
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Joined: 10/17/2008
Posts: 1,234
@Kamaa
Interesting. And how is this 'disciplne' instilled? And kwani a lady should be treated like a truant in need of discipline? I think your thinking is rather warped.
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Pablo
#17 Posted : Wednesday, October 07, 2009 8:18:00 AM
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Joined: 3/17/2008
Posts: 567
Location: Nairobi


@all

Kamaa is right. Even if his wording is causing more heat than light. Dont forget,men and women are not equal,women are the mens helpers. Ask her for her opinion but make the decision.

Ati compromise. What if the man wants to go left and the woman wants to go right. When you compromise where do you go????


Want to be a millionaire.... plant a million cabbages and sell them at a bob...
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Kamaa
#18 Posted : Wednesday, October 07, 2009 8:23:00 AM
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Joined: 10/6/2007
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Location: Nairobi - Kenya
@ wendz / mpenzi

as far as i am concerned and as a matter of fact the controversial and should i say 'weighty' word in my below post means 'to impart something gradually' in this case 'discipline'...right?

and imparting means 'communicating' 'giving quality to something'....

it all depends with you,the way you want to draw meaning...

When you run so fast to get somewhere,you miss the fun of getting there... Life is not a race,so take it slowly....
When you hear what I say, you will not understand. When you see what I do, you will not comprehend
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Wendz
#19 Posted : Wednesday, October 07, 2009 8:29:00 AM
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Joined: 6/19/2008
Posts: 4,268
@Pablo

I got no problem with the man making the decision - he ought to in any case thats the part they call 'being the head of the family' but the discipline that @kamaa had said sounded like (since clarified) a wife needed to be 'whipped back to the line' - literally or sent to the 'sad corner' the american style....

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
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skodhe
#20 Posted : Wednesday, October 07, 2009 8:33:00 AM
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Joined: 2/3/2009
Posts: 112
They believe bad men are good in

Sleeping like a little baby
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