I will not agree on huduma number because am better informed than you are, I wish that 10B would have been used to grant every Kenyan a unique identifier...numbers we dont have to share with political parties and watchmen. Then the ID can be used to play around

however on BBI 90% of what is mentioned is on the constitution if Uhuru would have implemented this no one would say anything about county allocations, integrity etc Chapter 6 people do you remember? Why is uhuru insulting Kenyans in Kikuyu yet he has the powers handed to him by the people to implement the constitution?

What is new is the PM nonsense...and that is what he is getting emotional about. He promised people jobs and wants to use us to rubber stamp it. Tumekataa

January kuna nini? Njaa labda

Take it easy, the BBI report was not meant to be all that serious

SATURDAY DECEMBER 7 2019

HANGOVER DAY

After my first reading, I wanted to propose that we change Boxing Day to Hangover Day to capture the effects of our Christmas Day bingeing.

But I almost immediately remembered that Kenyans, including our so-called leaders, don’t have to wait for Christmas to enjoy their tipple.

We are shamelessly drunk even at public functions, and it is no wonder that nothing seems to work in this country.

Maybe because we are “autochthonous” Africans, remaining backward is our business.

Written by mostly Judeo-Christian conservatives who don’t care about the contemporary issues progressive Kenyan youths are interested in (e.g., population control, climate change, and the rights of sexual minorities), the report is enamoured of biological procreation and the heteronormative family unit.

It even asks the President to include “the state of the family” in his parliamentary speeches.

BEDROOM DAY

In support of this procreation initiative, my dog Sigmund and I yesterday agreed that we should jointly propose making November 7 the Bedroom Day in honour of the recent Kibra by-election, though he now prefers an “autochthonous” name for the day: twa twa twa.

The mongrel also wants to be baptised Autochthonous by one of the BBI bishops.

The report preaches a “bottom-up” approach to Kenyan problems, but it follows old-fashioned ethnographic methods, in which the names of respondents are elided.

To the elites who wrote the report, the individuality of lowly respondents means nothing.

Unnamed, they could well be fictional.

Going through the report, you would think you were reading Jomo Kenyatta’s Facing Mount Kenya (1938) or the condescending books of Jomo’s racist teacher, Bronislaw Malinowski.

As the report wasn’t meant to yield anything of value in the first place, it is better to do ourselves a favour and come to terms with the fact that we have been taken for a ride once again and it might be too late to do anything about it.

LOVE LETTERS

The cocktail of malice, incompetence, and negative energy in our government is just out of this world.

Maybe you haven’t come face to face with the animal species called a Kenyan government official.
I have.

When I was a young lecturer at the University of Nairobi at the cusp of the new millennium, a junior government spy (now a senior NIS mandarin) tried to trap me into some sort of a sex scandal.

I don’t know what he’d have achieved from his efforts.

Pretending to be a love-struck female student of mine, he created a fake email account, through which the said girl sent me love letters, saying she couldn’t concentrate in my classes because I was “way too cute”.

Could we meet behind the bushes in the evening and talk a little bit more about “the pleasure principle” (the Freudian notion that we instinctively seek pleasure and avoid pain to satisfy biological and psychological needs)?

Vivian, for that was the alleged girl’s name, repeated many times in her emails that she liked me because of my looks (my mirror told a different story but Vivian sounded like she had MRI eyes that could see my inner beauty).

She added that my “no-nonsense” newspaper articles had swept her off her feet. Could we please meet behind the …?

Fellow Wazuans, there is something positive happening as a result of this BBI nonsense.

For the last few weeks, Baba Ngina has been around and not globe trotting. At least he has managed to launch a dispensary at Gatundu (or whatever that was).

To an average kenyan, a dispensary is more significant in their lives than a SGR (that no one uses) or non existing dams projects.

Going forward, as the debate rages on, I expect to see him more often 'at home' addressing real issues affecting Kenyans.

BBI has also brought prices of milk,coffee,tea, etc etc to the table. The only irony is that, minister of agriculture in charge of all above is busy tanga tangaling.

Disclaimer: I am not a fan of either TangaTanga or Kieleweke.