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Is domestic violence justified K24?
Rank: Member Joined: 6/22/2011 Posts: 561 Location: House
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AlphDoti wrote:sparkly wrote:This is controversial but hear me out. My grandfather once told me that people are just mammals, primates to be exact. The primate society is ruled with order, established through dominance. Equality in human societies is nothing more than a belief, a fallacy. Hence in any relationship, a woman is looking for security that the man provides for offspring.
A relationship where a man does not provide security or the woman does not feel secure is faulty. Such will result In the woman comparing the man to other men, esp the father, the ex or or the boss. General disrespect for the man even where he tries his best to provide for the family. In short, the woman becomes unruly. I am sure many married men have gone through this phase through their courtship and /or marriage. Yeah that phase where men feel like strangers in their own homes and the wife keeps on saying "my kitchen", "my house" and are tempted to escape to the bars and mipangos just to feel significant and influential.
Before it gets to that point, it is necessary to restore order through a show of dominance. A few slaps, some reflection and a promise that it will not recur if order is maintained is enough to restore the balance.
Word of caution, the show of dominance must be measured and intentional... make it clear that there is nothing personal, just maintaining order among the ranks.
It must not be habitual otherwise bottled anger, feeling of being trapped and resentment will arise. It must not degenerate into a drawn out cat fight otherwise the woman might be left with some doubts that maybe next time she might win.
If a man goes this route, he must also allow the woman's temper to subside, perhaps get a place to crash that night, otherwise he might wake up and find his transformer missing.
^^ words of my now deceased grandfather. Those were exact words of my grandfather and my uncle. They thought me a lot that I look back now and see my good grown family, and I say, alhamdullillah! Those who are not yet married are still in dream land. This is what I told them here in my post #117 in 2013. I rarely agree with you @doti but for this, 100% i do. Practically done it and now reaping the fruits But it has to be methodically done
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/20/2008 Posts: 6,275 Location: Kenya
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Ngogoyo wrote:AlphDoti wrote:sparkly wrote:This is controversial but hear me out. My grandfather once told me that people are just mammals, primates to be exact. The primate society is ruled with order, established through dominance. Equality in human societies is nothing more than a belief, a fallacy. Hence in any relationship, a woman is looking for security that the man provides for offspring.
A relationship where a man does not provide security or the woman does not feel secure is faulty. Such will result In the woman comparing the man to other men, esp the father, the ex or or the boss. General disrespect for the man even where he tries his best to provide for the family. In short, the woman becomes unruly. I am sure many married men have gone through this phase through their courtship and /or marriage. Yeah that phase where men feel like strangers in their own homes and the wife keeps on saying "my kitchen", "my house" and are tempted to escape to the bars and mipangos just to feel significant and influential.
Before it gets to that point, it is necessary to restore order through a show of dominance. A few slaps, some reflection and a promise that it will not recur if order is maintained is enough to restore the balance.
Word of caution, the show of dominance must be measured and intentional... make it clear that there is nothing personal, just maintaining order among the ranks.
It must not be habitual otherwise bottled anger, feeling of being trapped and resentment will arise. It must not degenerate into a drawn out cat fight otherwise the woman might be left with some doubts that maybe next time she might win.
If a man goes this route, he must also allow the woman's temper to subside, perhaps get a place to crash that night, otherwise he might wake up and find his transformer missing.
^^ words of my now deceased grandfather. Those were exact words of my grandfather and my uncle. They thought me a lot that I look back now and see my good grown family, and I say, alhamdullillah! Those who are not yet married are still in dream land. This is what I told them here in my post #117 in 2013. I rarely agree with you @doti but for this, 100% i do. Practically done it and now reaping the fruits But it has to be methodically done Exactly @Ngogoyo. It has to be implemented methodically. No abuse should be used. But authority should be established. And then love her like crazy, treat her special, listen to her, take her opinions into account while making decisions... But when she crosses the line, be firm and say "no, you cannot accept this!" and leave it there. Do not argue with your wife, she will win the argument and give her false sense of victory, which will undermine good family structure... When you do it right, everyone will be happy, the wife will be happy, the kids will be happy, your parents will respect you including the in-laws...
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 12/18/2012 Posts: 94
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AlphDoti wrote: It has to be implemented methodically. No abuse should be used. But authority should be established. And then love her like crazy, treat her special, listen to her, take her opinions into account while making decisions... But when she crosses the line, be firm and say "no, you cannot accept this!" and leave it there. Do not argue with your wife, she will win the argument and give her false sense of victory, which will undermine good family structure... When you do it right, everyone will be happy, the wife will be happy, the kids will be happy, your parents will respect you including the in-laws... Redpill/Bluepill philosophy?
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 9/11/2015 Posts: 1,024
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AlphDoti wrote: Exactly @Ngogoyo. It has to be implemented methodically. No abuse should be used. But authority should be established. And then love her like crazy, treat her special, listen to her, take her opinions into account while making decisions... But when she crosses the line, be firm and say "no, you cannot accept this!" and leave it there. Do not argue with your wife, she will win the argument and give her false sense of victory, which will undermine good family structure... When you do it right, everyone will be happy, the wife will be happy, the kids will be happy, your parents will respect you including the in-laws...
Ohhhhh, this is a hadithi, right?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/20/2008 Posts: 6,275 Location: Kenya
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Anti_Burglar wrote:AlphDoti wrote: Exactly @Ngogoyo. It has to be implemented methodically. No abuse should be used. But authority should be established. And then love her like crazy, treat her special, listen to her, take her opinions into account while making decisions... But when she crosses the line, be firm and say "no, you cannot accept this!" and leave it there. Do not argue with your wife, she will win the argument and give her false sense of victory, which will undermine good family structure... When you do it right, everyone will be happy, the wife will be happy, the kids will be happy, your parents will respect you including the in-laws...
Ohhhhh, this is a hadithi, right? Wisdom from my grandfather...
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/20/2008 Posts: 6,275 Location: Kenya
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Tara wrote:AlphDoti wrote: It has to be implemented methodically. No abuse should be used. But authority should be established. And then love her like crazy, treat her special, listen to her, take her opinions into account while making decisions... But when she crosses the line, be firm and say "no, you cannot accept this!" and leave it there. Do not argue with your wife, she will win the argument and give her false sense of victory, which will undermine good family structure... When you do it right, everyone will be happy, the wife will be happy, the kids will be happy, your parents will respect you including the in-laws... Redpill/Bluepill philosophy? This is the real world @tara. Not the science that you've watched on TV...
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 12/18/2012 Posts: 94
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AlphDoti wrote:Tara wrote:AlphDoti wrote: It has to be implemented methodically. No abuse should be used. But authority should be established. And then love her like crazy, treat her special, listen to her, take her opinions into account while making decisions... But when she crosses the line, be firm and say "no, you cannot accept this!" and leave it there. Do not argue with your wife, she will win the argument and give her false sense of victory, which will undermine good family structure... When you do it right, everyone will be happy, the wife will be happy, the kids will be happy, your parents will respect you including the in-laws... Redpill/Bluepill philosophy? This is the real world @tara. Not the science that you've watched on TV... Google it. There are some men out there who are following said philosophy to establish dominance and authority over their wives/girlfriends. I find it amusing.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/22/2009 Posts: 2,449 Location: Africa
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Angelica _ann wrote:There is a fool who has cut the wife's hands because she cannot give birth while tests have shown he is the one with a problem!!! The lady has confessed to having had an affair and is now heavily pregnant. Still it doesn't justify the brutality meted on her
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 4/1/2009 Posts: 1,883
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Shak wrote:Angelica _ann wrote:There is a fool who has cut the wife's hands because she cannot give birth while tests have shown he is the one with a problem!!! The lady has confessed to having had an affair and is now heavily pregnant. Still it doesn't justify the brutality meted on her we only heard the lady's side of the story. and there were stories abound of the guy's innocence. and isn't the court still dealing with the matter with no conviction yet?
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 10/30/2016 Posts: 39 Location: nairobi
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Shak wrote:Angelica _ann wrote:There is a fool who has cut the wife's hands because she cannot give birth while tests have shown he is the one with a problem!!! The lady has confessed to having had an affair and is now heavily pregnant. Still it doesn't justify the brutality meted on her good for her where a woman rules, rivers run uphill!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 9/23/2009 Posts: 8,083 Location: Enk are Nyirobi
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twesha13 wrote:Shak wrote:Angelica _ann wrote:There is a fool who has cut the wife's hands because she cannot give birth while tests have shown he is the one with a problem!!! The lady has confessed to having had an affair and is now heavily pregnant. Still it doesn't justify the brutality meted on her good for her Lady started as an adulterer, turned into a victim, but is now a beneficiary of NGO's largesse and another man's seed. Life is short. Live passionately.
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 10/30/2016 Posts: 39 Location: nairobi
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sparkly wrote:twesha13 wrote:Shak wrote:Angelica _ann wrote:There is a fool who has cut the wife's hands because she cannot give birth while tests have shown he is the one with a problem!!! The lady has confessed to having had an affair and is now heavily pregnant. Still it doesn't justify the brutality meted on her good for her Lady started as an adulterer, turned into a victim, but is now a beneficiary of NGO's largesse and another man's seed. good! now analyse her husband where a woman rules, rivers run uphill!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/26/2012 Posts: 15,980
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NOT ABOUT K24 butNation wrote:A woman who was earlier this year stabbed 17 times by her husband in a domestic quarrel in Karatina, Nyeri County, has withdrawn assault charges against him saying she has forgiven him.
Ms Peninah Wangechi was admitted at the Karatina Sub County Hospital on April 9 after the knife attack by her husband Mr Samuel Ndirangu. Surely, this man should not walk "There are only two emotions in the market, hope & fear. The problem is you hope when you should fear & fear when you should hope: - Jesse Livermore .
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Is domestic violence justified K24?
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