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Venting My Dirty Mind
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tycho
#41 Posted : Thursday, May 24, 2018 5:13:07 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/1/2011
Posts: 8,804
Location: Nairobi
I'm quite sure that very few of us can get down to write the really truly dirty story.

Some people can do the practicals of the dirty story. There are places where you can get encouragement to do it. Practically.

Of course when you do it, you'll surely be killed. But it doesn't matter because you'd have killed. And anyway, what's the point of living in a shitty hole, burning with @alphdoti's fire?

Oh meeen! I missed my opportunity, or have I?

I can always see her if I look. And boy, don't I love looking!

And I know how to get her to the place of redemption.

I can't imagine her surprise and dismay as it all starts. A shriek perhaps.

But that's the thriiiilllll. No?

You start with gentle kisses till you finish with tearing her flesh with your teeth. Lip stick all over you.

'Did you come with the hooks to hang the meat butcher Jacob?'

'No. Use her skin'.

'Oh yeah. I hadn't thought of that'.

Yeah. But first I curve a tomb on her pelvis. Even if my head fits is okay.
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tycho
#42 Posted : Thursday, May 24, 2018 5:17:24 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/1/2011
Posts: 8,804
Location: Nairobi
Then I'll go to the mirror and grin at the old geezer.

'That's what I did to your bitch'.

The f***ing loser will definitely grin back.

And that's how I'll smash the mirror with my fists.

'Who's color is the lipstick?'

I don't know! I don't f***ing knoooow!

I gotta find her again.

I gotta find her!
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tycho
#43 Posted : Thursday, May 24, 2018 6:17:15 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/1/2011
Posts: 8,804
Location: Nairobi
Hey you sister! Have you drunk of your mother's blood?

Oooh! Your lips are red. Let me kiss them...

Are these the only lips you got? Oh. Where are they? Let my lips see them.

Screaaam!

Oh. Hush little darling. Papa's got you. Hush. The blood on your lips is soooo freeesh!

Please sit on my rule.

Sit on my rule, oh partaker of the liberi!

Oh no. Is it a blade?

No Worry.

No woman, no cry.
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tycho
#44 Posted : Thursday, May 24, 2018 9:13:11 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/1/2011
Posts: 8,804
Location: Nairobi
On the seventh day, I realize that every kitty is firmly tethered to my pole. My iron rod. My rule.

Let each die slowly and painfully. No. Call it pleasure. The fire in hell must cause a dance.

My laws, must keep you in the inferno.

Respite shall come when you suck my iron and make it your breast. Because in eating you I've become your mother.

Thou shall not envy, because if thou enviest you seek to dethrone me.

You devil!

And I'm jealous.

I even own @masukuma's thunder and lightning.

The last frontier is the first. And I traverse them both.

All is well. I in heaven, and you in hell. Roasting.

And you knowing that are I.

The hymen is pierced and orgasma attained.

Manna from heaven.
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tycho
#45 Posted : Thursday, May 24, 2018 9:15:03 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/1/2011
Posts: 8,804
Location: Nairobi
Oh what holy words!
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aemathenge
#46 Posted : Friday, June 01, 2018 9:21:02 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/18/2008
Posts: 3,434
Location: Kerugoya
tycho wrote:
My interest is that even a skim through the stories reveals a pretty clean and decent mind...


You do realize that you have just declared unequivocally that MaheGoat has a clean and decent mind.

The implications of such a declaration are too deep to fathom.

In the meantime, let me bask....
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2012
#47 Posted : Friday, June 01, 2018 10:48:18 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 12/9/2009
Posts: 6,592
Location: Nairobi
@tycho, you should get published. Love your poetic flow/writing.

BBI will solve it :)
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Swenani
#48 Posted : Friday, June 01, 2018 11:41:26 AM
Rank: User


Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 13,236
Location: Vacuum
tycho wrote:
Then I'll go to the mirror and grin at the old geezer.

'That's what I did to your bitch'.

The f***ing loser will definitely grin back.

And that's how I'll smash the mirror with my fists.

'Who's color is the lipstick?'

I don't know! I don't f***ing knoooow!

I gotta find her again.

I gotta find her!


Tycho found her clearing junk from her trunk to the bunk.
His previous performance was flaccid
She was still in a funk from the Tycho's previous smash.
She wanted an elephant trunk from a hunk for a slunk.


If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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tycho
#49 Posted : Friday, June 01, 2018 1:16:25 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/1/2011
Posts: 8,804
Location: Nairobi
aemathenge wrote:
tycho wrote:
My interest is that even a skim through the stories reveals a pretty clean and decent mind...


You do realize that you have just declared unequivocally that MaheGoat has a clean and decent mind.

The implications of such a declaration are too deep to fathom.

In the meantime, let me bask....


Or, you've not given the real dirty.
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tycho
#50 Posted : Friday, June 01, 2018 1:32:32 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/1/2011
Posts: 8,804
Location: Nairobi
Swenani wrote:
tycho wrote:
Then I'll go to the mirror and grin at the old geezer.

'That's what I did to your bitch'.

The f***ing loser will definitely grin back.

And that's how I'll smash the mirror with my fists.

'Who's color is the lipstick?'

I don't know! I don't f***ing knoooow!

I gotta find her again.

I gotta find her!


Tycho found her clearing junk from her trunk to the bunk.
His previous performance was flaccid
She was still in a funk from the Tycho's previous smash.
She wanted an elephant trunk from a hunk for a slunk.




Aah! Let the demons fly in, and show their faces...

The only reason for a limp, is that Papa- the f***ing bastard- shoved his rod in meee!

Till I became his sissy, keeping off his whore.

The fancy at the lodge, where history is recapitulated.

Oh! God, how can a crook be straight?

Papa, do you want to shove it again?

And again?

And again?

Is this your f***ing justice? Is it your all?

To keep the whore?
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aemathenge
#51 Posted : Tuesday, June 05, 2018 9:23:12 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/18/2008
Posts: 3,434
Location: Kerugoya
tycho wrote:
aemathenge wrote:
tycho wrote:
My interest is that even a skim through the stories reveals a pretty clean and decent mind...


You do realize that you have just declared unequivocally that MaheGoat has a clean and decent mind.

The implications of such a declaration are too deep to fathom.

In the meantime, let me bask....


Or, you've not given the real dirty.

Indeed.
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aemathenge
#52 Posted : Tuesday, June 04, 2019 3:46:51 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/18/2008
Posts: 3,434
Location: Kerugoya


Forgive me Tyco, for I have sinned.

The young ones Tyco. I am obsessed with them.

I have not been this fixated with watching depictions of young ladies since I was an acne-faced teenager back in the Eighties.

Bird watching we used to call it back in the day.

To assuage my renewed infatuation, I have taken to trawling social media and boy, aren’t the young lasses flaunting everything!

And then, another fascination has risen.

It is a progression from my fascination with images of the lasses.

It is no longer an obsession with curves, firm breasts thrust at me with wild abandon, Thailand or that natural art that is a pretty face.

It is their minds. I cannot help but to wonder what goes on in these young minds.

What is the 19 to 29 Pretty Young Thing saying when hidden behind their tiny screens?

So, other than endlessly scanning those photographs freely peppered all over social media, I am reading their comments like an old cat lapping on high cream milk.

Oh Tyco, forgive for I have sinned, in my thoughts, in my words, in what I have done, and in what I failed to do while trawling the social media scene frequented by the Pretty Young things.

Sample this

A young man posts this on his social media account:

Copy and Paste:

*A LADY'S phone* INBOX

1. I luv u dear (Kingsley)

2. Can I take u out tonite? (Andrew)

3. I always feel bad when I see u with another man (Fred)

4. Sweetie don't forget d trip (MD)

5. Darling, av u seen d credit I sent u? (Collins)

6. Honey, I will do whatever it takes just for u to be by my side (Evans)

7. Consider it done (Minister)

8. Baby, check ur a/c bal and call me back (Chairman)

*A GUY'S FONE* INBOX:

1. Your data bundle is almost finished (Safaricom)

2. Hey dude, give me a break! I told u am getn married (Jane)

3. Don't u dare call me again, cheat (Patricia)

4. Am warning u 4 e last tym oo (Landlord)

5. Brother am still expecting e money for the admission form (young bro)

6. My son, how r you? Please send us some money (Mama)

7. I av nt seen my period for 2 months (Neighbour's daughter)...

With all these, you expect us, the guys to gain weight how.

The assorted comments by the lasses are simply to die for.

Have a look for yourself and forgive me, for I have sinned. LINK

Warning: The link takes you through an advert. Simply skip the advert to get to the link destination.
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tycho
#53 Posted : Tuesday, June 04, 2019 10:11:58 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/1/2011
Posts: 8,804
Location: Nairobi
Beyond Forgiveness

When sons of heaven in Godly light
Saw the daughters of the earth,
Garbed in beauty and youth enchanting:
They left the hymns and cherubim
To carouse and comfort the damsels lo.

Yet it doesn't seem to be AWOL
For the almighty struck not
Because of descent or the eating
But instead He blessed the couples
With giants we are yet to see again.

In the whispers and clamors of maidens
Were the cries of need that Eve got
When the lower serpent failed
To climb the straight rod and lo
Embrace the light of the hidden eye.

And the giants too sought waters
That could hardly satisfy but demand
More and more of what was, that no
Woods could fan the fires yet,
Till God cringed, and sent a flood.
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aemathenge
#54 Posted : Tuesday, June 04, 2019 10:36:17 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/18/2008
Posts: 3,434
Location: Kerugoya
tycho wrote:
Beyond Forgiveness

When sons of heaven in Godly light
Saw the daughters of the earth,
Garbed in beauty and youth enchanting:
They left the hymns and cherubim
To carouse and comfort the damsels lo.

Yet it doesn't seem to be AWOL
For the almighty struck not
Because of descent or the eating
But instead He blessed the couples
With giants we are yet to see again.

In the whispers and clamors of maidens
Were the cries of need that Eve got
When the lower serpent failed
To climb the straight rod and lo
Embrace the light of the hidden eye.

And the giants too sought waters
That could hardly satisfy but demand
More and more of what was, that no
Woods could fan the fires yet,
Till God cringed, and sent a flood.



I hate it when you are this good.
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aemathenge
#55 Posted : Friday, September 20, 2019 3:14:42 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/18/2008
Posts: 3,434
Location: Kerugoya
Tyco, you are going to love this chap.

Consider this a gift from me to you.

Or is it?

Copy And Paste Extract

Quote:
I won’t talk about the Consolata kid but I will talk to these entitled adults.

You can be who you want, but you can’t blackmail people into liking you.

Some people hate me just because I am tall. You haven’t seen me calling for a referendum to give tall people special rights.

Where is this coming from?

I don’t like gays. Call me what you can.

I don’t like women who squirt, I don’t like people who spit carelessly, I don’t like a low time on the internet, and I am always suspicious of women in brown underwear.

It is simply weird. That is a small part of the things I don’t like.

If a man dares to wake up one morning and profess to be in love with another man; we should be allowed the liberty to protest.

We aren’t asking to fire gay people, abuse them, or discriminate them in any way; we ask a little respect for our beliefs.

The permission to say we don’t approve and not be turned to victims.

I also find it safer to be around straight people.

Mwalimu Bweha once told me a horrifying story.

A long time ago, when he still had teeth and could have a steady erection, he went on a road trip with a bunch of girls.




Guka, You Will Love The Following Part Of The Thread

Quote:
The car lost control and rolled several times.

Mwalimu Bweha accidentally had sex with one of the girls as the car rolled.

Seven months later, the girl gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

Mwalimu Bweha had no choice but to marry the girl.

He protested of not being the biological father because the baby looked like Bweha’s friend and was born only seven months after alleged conception.

He was told that those are some of the things that could happen to a baby conceived in calamity.

Their baby was conceived in a rolling car.

Thirty-seven years later, Mwalimu Bweha was promoted to upper primary and allowed to touch science books.

That is when he learned the truth and divorced the girl immediately.

Now he drinks beer with me at Grogon Bar and bar.

All we do is drink because Mwalimu Bweha doesn’t have teeth.


Notes to the Thread

First, Could Someone Please Interpret The Picture Accompanying This Thread? Please

Second, What Does The First Part Of The Thread Got To Do With The Second?

Source Link:

Please Clink On Skip Ad To Get To The Thread

The Comments, Tyco, The Comments ...
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aemathenge
#56 Posted : Monday, September 23, 2019 2:56:02 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/18/2008
Posts: 3,434
Location: Kerugoya
Citizens of the Virtual Republic of Wazua, I am afraid this one you will have to read for yourself.

I tried to edit it but I could not.

Not with arching ribs and sporadic spasms of laughter ruining my concentration.

It is 03:00 am in the morning and the roaches I co-habit with must think I am crazy.

Quote:
They put Awilo Longomba.

Sisi, we had DJ wachilia tu mara moja.

Weeeeeepa, Aaaawilo Longomba

Kas Kas,Kas Kas ping ping alaka ping ping.

Puuuuulya ya!

Tukajiachilia kujiachilia.


These kids have talents even I can only dream about.

Source Link
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