Waka waka; hey, hey.....

I thought it was only in my house! Even my 4y investment is singing it!

@Magigi: "While we are still at it, how do you instill discipline into children who are being influenced by bad neighbours, TV etc"

That's a tough one. TV you can switch off. Also, make sure you don't watch inappropriate programmes yourself. When you think about it, if you can't watch a program with your kids, it's also probably bad for you. This, however is easier said than done!

Bad neighbours: that's really tough. Is it the kids or the parents that are bad? If its the kids, you can try stop yours from playing with the bad ones.... again, easier said than done. You could also try to put the bad kids into line by being tough and strict with them (but remember these days you will be sued and jailed if you cane them!!).

If it's the parents that are bad; you should seriously consider moving out. May be to a different corner of the same estate. Alternatively muster the courage to talk to your neighbour. But be very, very polite and diplomatic. People are very sensitive about their children.

Finally; there is one thing I try very hard not to do; that is argue with another adult in the presence of my children. And that includes the house maid.

@ sheep, i think you are right. I was privileged enough to go to an IGCSE school...and not those mushrooming academies in all corners. And our school time began at 8am to 3.30pm with no excessive homework or holiday classes. There was alot of emphasis on extra curricula activities,sports, drama, clubs. I did my undergrad in a Kenyan uni and i did not struggle to catch up with other classmates on gripping concepts or passing exams. In fact we were at par with those obtaining higher grades. So when i see my small cousins going to school at six, there is one even attending sunday lunchtime classes, I am in total shock. What will the excessive reading do that cannot be achieved in normal class time? There is a limit to what one can learn and should learn and the amount of cramming going on nowadays, one cannot end up as a whole rounded individuals

I think being a parent you have the freedom to be as dictatorial as you and your partner decide. Between the 2 of you, you have massive powers over your children and though you cannot control everything there is a lot that you have control over. I think it was Mukiha who once put a link here of an article that said it is not too much power that corrupts managers but too little power and I think it is the same for parents.

How for example can parents of 10 year olds claim that TV is having a bad influence on their children? What would happen if the 2 parents decided not to own a TV? But a TV provides useful information, you may argue. Children can learn many things from it, we need it to catch the news and know what is going on around the world. Good, I say, then quit complaining of its bad influence because in your scheme of things you have weighed all the positives of having it against the bad and you have decided the positives are greater. Live with it.

It is the same about bad influence of neighbours and neighbourhoods. There are plenty of options of places to live. You can weigh your options of the inconveniences to you against the kind of exposure that you want your children to have and then make a decision. I am satisfied if someone says that what I need to do is not worth it rather than it cannot be done.

Parents can make whatever rules they wish to have in their house. I know parents who made such decisions as, we will not have a TV in our house, Everyone eats together dinner at the table, no one eats before we pray, no one leaves the table until we are done, no shoes in the house, always clean you plate after eating, no one swears in this house etc. Decide what your rules are and what the consequences are and children will quickly learn them. Step up and take charge.

Amen to that!!

I think many people become parents without thinking what parenting entails.

You must decide how you want to bring up your children. And don't say that the child was unexpected - you had at least SIX months of notice! (women find out that they are pregnant when they miss a period, by that time they are already three weeks pg. If it was unexpected, they consider whether to tell the father - that could take another 2months.)

I have decided that my kids go sleep by 8pm on school nights and 9pm on other nights. If they ask why, the answer is "because dad & mum said so."! Even if the homework hasn't been done, this rule will not be relaxed.

@Kusadikika let me ask you a question? I rem when i was home some time back with my family and we were at my grandmother place in shaggz, my wife was holding the baby and she wanted to go help serve us, we were quite a number, my wife stood up and brought the baby to me, that was natural but you should have seen the look on my grandmothers face including some of my aunties..i can understand their reaction and she got a telling from my grandmother and aunties but we laughed about it later with her. let me know how do you inteprete this and is this still what you advocate, the man to be alpha..

This is interesting. Fathers, where are you?



This is a poem by a Green Hills Academy Student.

‘A special message for the parents & parents-to-be.’
Parents, children are a photocopy of their parents’ character
You are the hydro power dams from which they
Can tap the power of living light.
But if the dams are empty of values, and the water levels are too low,
What will they tap? Only darkness.
Many parents are suffering from T.B, Too Busy!
Yes, the cost of living is high, but the cost of loving is affordable.
There’s God to help you.

Each child is a goldmine and it’s the parents to mine the gold out of them
Sarcastically, there are parents who see their children as a form of tax;
Tax on their time, tax on their comfort and tax on their freedom
And immediately send them to boarding school even in nursery,
So as to evade these taxes.
Remember, children are like the Global Fund, a gift and a donor fund from God,
You will have to provide full accountability for their use or mismanagement,
You shall be audited

The home is the first classroom in which a child sits.
But unfortunately, the teachers i.e. the parents, have absconded from duty
And if you ask them, they will tell you,
To them, TV is their daddy, they see him everyday
The radio is their mummy; she talks to them whenever they want
Parents, these are your children and, have boarded the wrong taxis,
to the Northern bypass of destruction

Physically, they maybe in University, but mentally, they are in kindergarten
With their minds still wrapped up in nappies.
Don’t just be the head of the home but head the home
Forget not, PARENT means;
P – Personal Friend,
A – Available,
R – Responsible,
E - Encourages
N – Nurtures and
T – Teaches

Now is the time for IDPs (Internally Displaced Parents) to return home,
So that the reconstruction of the family can begin.
There are parents who are living in camps of bondage called bars;
Extramarital affairs, cross generational rapports…..
They need to come home for the family is under attack

Many homes used to be like Celtel, Making Life Better,
But now, they have become like Baghdad , daily explosions of verbal artillery,
All this detonated by marital conflicts!
You the parents, have become suicide bombers, blowing up our future
When we see daddy approaching, ‘black mamba is about to strike’
We take cover as he comes heavily armed with words of mass destruction.
Other parents are like UMEME, they load shed their time for their children,
Even up to one week and the kids end up in a black out of values.
The lucky ones survive if they have friends, who act as generators, providing insufficient power

The parliament and cabinet are the brain of the government
But the family is the foot of the nation.
When it fails to stand, the nation falls
Parents, have time for your children.
Say, ‘NEVER AGAIN’