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Help out a Depressed Sister!
Rank: Hello Joined: 4/6/2019 Posts: 3 Location: Nairobi
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Thanks,I appreciate the members & admim of Wazua for allowing me to be part of the family.
First and foremost, I have blundered in the past which has led to my depression. Am not reaching out to you for further Insults. It’s only because am human and people do make mistakes that leads to painful experiences.
This is my story. Am a single mother of one child. We had disagreement with my Babby dady which was a matter of principles concerning abortion and we decided to stay a part. So we didn’t marry at all neither has he ever seen his daughter .So I was hurt badly and due to that I took around 5 years to get into another relationship. I didn’t hide anything and told this guy that I have a child. I also told him that am not interested in having sex outside marriage since I don’t want a second baby outside weldlock since am born again. All the he accepted .He said we shall do the Introduction first and then wed if possible.I was so happy thinking that my dreams to finally settle is coming true little did I know that the r/ship was a fraud. This guys was just provoking me to develop feelings for him so that he can take the opportunity to con me of every single thing I ever own on earth including my own child.Ke took advantage of my kindness.
It has take 3 years since we met at work place, so we ware friends first and we used to share a lot.He first took my car.I was hiring it out.I ask him to sign an agreement but he kept on dodging. I Even drafted the document myself but kept on promising that he will sign in vain.That was mistake number one.He paid the first month very well. Then the second month,he told me that he had a sister who was critically sick with cancer and she had to me amputed on the left leg. I slightly doubted but when I checked out the name of FB,I saw the girl and indeed she was sick.So after cutting the leg,he told me that the parents have refused to take her to hospital. That their grandfather died of cancer and warned them never to try to treat the disease as it will only make it worse.So this guy kept on crying in the office that the sister is going to die on his watch. So he went for a court order since the siz was around 18years to force parents to allow the girl for treatment. So he started sourcing for funds. I sympathized with the situation a topped up bank loan on his behalf. Blunder number two.On his side,he promised to give me a plot in Kitengela in exchange.I even went and saw the plot but things were happening very first because he had planned to con me from the word go.Infact,the day I was giving him the cash coz he told me that his account has blocked due to some loan he had taken to treat his sister,I had arranged with my lawyer to draft an agreement for us and let him sign all the documents but shock on me.He lied that this cash is to be sent to the Insurers to renew medical Insurance since the patient had been taken to Italy for treatment.So he promised to sign later that he is going no ware.So when he came back from “Italy” is when he proposed to me.He told me that all his friend have ran away because of the problems he has and am the only one left,so he would wish that we marry since I mean a whole world to him.
However,our earlier agreement will remain intact and once he is settled,he will give me the title dead for transfer.I was so stupid to have believed this lie.He lied that currently the documents are locked in his house since he has a lot of rent arrears due to financial constraint resulting from expensive Cancer treatment.My job ended for some reasons and be also left the work place for other businesses.Upto to now he still claims that the documents are locked which is a lie.I also came to learn that he also conned another lady in the same manner.Thouh the sister passed,but he also lied that he has cancer and has been going through operations like 5 times which is not true.He has never allowed me to know where he lives or his people so tha Issue of Relationship I wrote off long time ago.But I have been trying to hold my peace if I can recover anything all this time but the chances are minimal.This was just a conman but I realized to late.
What can I do fellow Wazuans? Am stressed beyong.Jobless and losing all that I ever worked hard for
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 11/28/2018 Posts: 42 Location: Nairobi
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Sister....your post is too long.
If you could summarize please?😰😰
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/18/2011 Posts: 12,069 Location: Kianjokoma
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drogon wrote:Sister....your post is too long.
If you could summarize please?😰😰 Try read more. It's not even a 5 min read. Pole kwake. Kumbe women eaters ni wengi!
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Rank: Member Joined: 7/17/2014 Posts: 132 Location: Wherethewindblows
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Life sometimes can be a b#h and relationships are not easy even when both parties are in love. We could say you just had bad luck, it could have been worse you know, but yet again some people are just good at picking up on others weaknesses, like hunting dogs and take advantage unrelenting coming up with schemes until they get there prey. In your situation it could be difficult to prove all what your saying happened without any signed documentation, fund transfer to his bank account so what to do? In my view, think the best thing you can do, is get the police involved somehow and then cut your loses and rebuild. Your health is important and stress and depression -if you are diagnosed are killers - and you should take all steps to reduce them. You have a child who needs a healthy mum. So the money that you lost, the loan and no job do create a stressful situation and the only way would be to at least work at reducing some of it. Sell your car pay back the loan and move no. in my humble opinion. You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else - Albert Einstein
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Rank: Member Joined: 4/11/2007 Posts: 694
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Wah! Sorry for all your troubles. Think about your kid for now. I know it is hard but your kid means more than anything else. Look for something constructive to do to keep yourself busy and sane. It's hard to be conned by someone you once trusted. Yours is a simple case of being conned. Women go through so much in the hands of men na bado mungu anabaki kuwa mungu. You are alive take time to celebrate.
I bet you are still young, live and let live. I pray you are strong and you will come out of it stronger.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 1/8/2018 Posts: 2,211 Location: DC (Dustbowl County)
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Trufena wrote:Thanks,I appreciate the members & admim of Wazua for allowing me to be part of the family.
First and foremost, I have blundered in the past which has led to my depression. Am not reaching out to you for further Insults. It’s only because am human and people do make mistakes that leads to painful experiences.
This is my story. Am a single mother of one child. We had disagreement with my Babby dady which was a matter of principles concerning abortion and we decided to stay a part. So we didn’t marry at all neither has he ever seen his daughter .So I was hurt badly and due to that I took around 5 years to get into another relationship. I didn’t hide anything and told this guy that I have a child. I also told him that am not interested in having sex outside marriage since I don’t want a second baby outside weldlock since am born again. All the he accepted .He said we shall do the Introduction first and then wed if possible.I was so happy thinking that my dreams to finally settle is coming true little did I know that the r/ship was a fraud. This guys was just provoking me to develop feelings for him so that he can take the opportunity to con me of every single thing I ever own on earth including my own child.Ke took advantage of my kindness.
It has take 3 years since we met at work place, so we ware friends first and we used to share a lot.He first took my car.I was hiring it out.I ask him to sign an agreement but he kept on dodging. I Even drafted the document myself but kept on promising that he will sign in vain.That was mistake number one.He paid the first month very well. Then the second month,he told me that he had a sister who was critically sick with cancer and she had to me amputed on the left leg. I slightly doubted but when I checked out the name of FB,I saw the girl and indeed she was sick.So after cutting the leg,he told me that the parents have refused to take her to hospital. That their grandfather died of cancer and warned them never to try to treat the disease as it will only make it worse.So this guy kept on crying in the office that the sister is going to die on his watch. So he went for a court order since the siz was around 18years to force parents to allow the girl for treatment. So he started sourcing for funds. I sympathized with the situation a topped up bank loan on his behalf. Blunder number two.On his side,he promised to give me a plot in Kitengela in exchange.I even went and saw the plot but things were happening very first because he had planned to con me from the word go.Infact,the day I was giving him the cash coz he told me that his account has blocked due to some loan he had taken to treat his sister,I had arranged with my lawyer to draft an agreement for us and let him sign all the documents but shock on me.He lied that this cash is to be sent to the Insurers to renew medical Insurance since the patient had been taken to Italy for treatment.So he promised to sign later that he is going no ware.So when he came back from “Italy” is when he proposed to me.He told me that all his friend have ran away because of the problems he has and am the only one left,so he would wish that we marry since I mean a whole world to him.
However,our earlier agreement will remain intact and once he is settled,he will give me the title dead for transfer.I was so stupid to have believed this lie.He lied that currently the documents are locked in his house since he has a lot of rent arrears due to financial constraint resulting from expensive Cancer treatment.My job ended for some reasons and be also left the work place for other businesses.Upto to now he still claims that the documents are locked which is a lie.I also came to learn that he also conned another lady in the same manner.Thouh the sister passed,but he also lied that he has cancer and has been going through operations like 5 times which is not true.He has never allowed me to know where he lives or his people so tha Issue of Relationship I wrote off long time ago.But I have been trying to hold my peace if I can recover anything all this time but the chances are minimal.This was just a conman but I realized to late.
What can I do fellow Wazuans? Am stressed beyong.Jobless and losing all that I ever worked hard for
Pole sana Problems seem to follow you around, dada. Sometimes when very many unrelated streams of problems seem to follow someone around perhaps they need to introspect because the common thread tying all these problems together is only one. Anyway, as you say people make mistakes as they are human. Hope you have learned from yours - to not sleep with funny heartless men who do not even care to see their own flesh and blood, to not believe any lies or feel you are responsible for sorting anyone else's financial problems especially if you are not married to them! Vet people thoroughly before you let them in your life.
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Rank: Member Joined: 5/27/2016 Posts: 274 Location: Pub
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Pole, all will be well. But I am just wondering, when someone cons another person on grounds of "CANCER" assuming its false does that money really end up benefiting the guy really? I am a firm believer of "Life is unfair, but nature is fair..." I work so I can afford the amount of alcohol required to continue going to work
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/26/2012 Posts: 15,980
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There is nothing big in "settling" you can "settle" as a single parent and live a very comfortable life. You already have your child concentrate in making her the best human she can be. If a man - SELF RELIANT - comes along the way you can consider him but I think right now, you are just adding burdens to your self trying to chase the wind to please society. Be your own source of happiness and that will extend to your child. "There are only two emotions in the market, hope & fear. The problem is you hope when you should fear & fear when you should hope: - Jesse Livermore
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/18/2008 Posts: 3,434 Location: Kerugoya
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How would describe your relationship with your father? Today, you are the sum total of what you have gone through since birth. Most of your interactions with men arise from a template created from that you and your father have had all along. Sit down with him and honestly describe what you are going through. Otherwise, you are doomed to a life of pain. That includes your child and grand children unless you fix this.
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Rank: Member Joined: 4/11/2007 Posts: 694
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aemathenge wrote:How would describe your relationship with your father?
Today, you are the sum total of what you have gone through since birth.
Most of your interactions with men arise from a template created from that you and your father have had all along.
Sit down with him and honestly describe what you are going through.
Otherwise, you are doomed to a life of pain. That includes your child and grand children unless you fix this.
Men are funny. How do you sit down with someone who sole aim is to con you of your hard earned money. The guy should be in jail. But matters heart are complicated. Where I come from......the guy could now be signing kimundu gikiuma
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/18/2008 Posts: 3,434 Location: Kerugoya
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sheri wrote:aemathenge wrote:How would describe your relationship with your father?
Today, you are the sum total of what you have gone through since birth.
Most of your interactions with men arise from a template created from that you and your father have had all along.
Sit down with him and honestly describe what you are going through.
Otherwise, you are doomed to a life of pain. That includes your child and grand children unless you fix this.
Men are funny. How do you sit down with someone who sole aim is to con you of your hard earned money. The guy should be in jail. But matters heart are complicated. Where I come from......the guy could now be signing kimundu gikiuma She ought to sit down with HER FATHER not the smooth Criminal. Otherwise, she will move from one smooth criminal to another.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/18/2008 Posts: 3,434 Location: Kerugoya
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Oh, and by the way, welcome to the Virtual Republic of Wazua. Don't be a stranger.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 8/4/2008 Posts: 2,849 Location: Rupi
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Pole sana my sister. This is tricky. Its hard to recover money from a con. Unless you use system ya majambazi. It will cost you money which you do not have right now. Better to postpone this to a later date when you are stable. Also do note that friends and family may desert you in this very time of need. Its an opportunity for you to know who is true to you. Focus on yourself and baby. Talk to God and tell him that your life and your baby's is HIS business. Tell him to sort you out. He will. I have learnt to be wary of people who have problem after problem grand ma sick, dad fell and broke his leg, cow went to neighbor's shamba etc.... 99.9% of the time they are cons. I wish you the very best my sister. Do not give up hope. Please don't. Its gonna be fine. Its only a matter of time Lord, thank you!
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Rank: Member Joined: 4/11/2007 Posts: 694
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aemathenge wrote:sheri wrote:aemathenge wrote:How would describe your relationship with your father?
Today, you are the sum total of what you have gone through since birth.
Most of your interactions with men arise from a template created from that you and your father have had all along.
Sit down with him and honestly describe what you are going through.
Otherwise, you are doomed to a life of pain. That includes your child and grand children unless you fix this.
Men are funny. How do you sit down with someone who sole aim is to con you of your hard earned money. The guy should be in jail. But matters heart are complicated. Where I come from......the guy could now be signing kimundu gikiuma She ought to sit down with HER FATHER not the smooth Criminal. Otherwise, she will move from one smooth criminal to another. Thanks for the clarification. I feel sorry for the lady. @mathenge you know at the united state of Kiambu this is an open and shut case.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,328 Location: Masada
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Trufena wrote:Thanks,I appreciate the members & admim of Wazua for allowing me to be part of the family.
First and foremost, I have blundered in the past which has led to my depression. Am not reaching out to you for further Insults. It’s only because am human and people do make mistakes that leads to painful experiences.
This is my story. Am a single mother of one child. We had disagreement with my Babby dady which was a matter of principles concerning abortion and we decided to stay a part. So we didn’t marry at all neither has he ever seen his daughter .So I was hurt badly and due to that I took around 5 years to get into another relationship. I didn’t hide anything and told this guy that I have a child. I also told him that am not interested in having sex outside marriage since I don’t want a second baby outside weldlock since am born again. All the he accepted .He said we shall do the Introduction first and then wed if possible.I was so happy thinking that my dreams to finally settle is coming true little did I know that the r/ship was a fraud. This guys was just provoking me to develop feelings for him so that he can take the opportunity to con me of every single thing I ever own on earth including my own child.Ke took advantage of my kindness.
It has take 3 years since we met at work place, so we ware friends first and we used to share a lot.He first took my car.I was hiring it out.I ask him to sign an agreement but he kept on dodging. I Even drafted the document myself but kept on promising that he will sign in vain.That was mistake number one.He paid the first month very well. Then the second month,he told me that he had a sister who was critically sick with cancer and she had to me amputed on the left leg. I slightly doubted but when I checked out the name of FB,I saw the girl and indeed she was sick.So after cutting the leg,he told me that the parents have refused to take her to hospital. That their grandfather died of cancer and warned them never to try to treat the disease as it will only make it worse.So this guy kept on crying in the office that the sister is going to die on his watch. So he went for a court order since the siz was around 18years to force parents to allow the girl for treatment. So he started sourcing for funds. I sympathized with the situation a topped up bank loan on his behalf. Blunder number two.On his side,he promised to give me a plot in Kitengela in exchange.I even went and saw the plot but things were happening very first because he had planned to con me from the word go.Infact,the day I was giving him the cash coz he told me that his account has blocked due to some loan he had taken to treat his sister,I had arranged with my lawyer to draft an agreement for us and let him sign all the documents but shock on me.He lied that this cash is to be sent to the Insurers to renew medical Insurance since the patient had been taken to Italy for treatment.So he promised to sign later that he is going no ware.So when he came back from “Italy” is when he proposed to me.He told me that all his friend have ran away because of the problems he has and am the only one left,so he would wish that we marry since I mean a whole world to him.
However,our earlier agreement will remain intact and once he is settled,he will give me the title dead for transfer.I was so stupid to have believed this lie.He lied that currently the documents are locked in his house since he has a lot of rent arrears due to financial constraint resulting from expensive Cancer treatment.My job ended for some reasons and be also left the work place for other businesses.Upto to now he still claims that the documents are locked which is a lie.I also came to learn that he also conned another lady in the same manner.Thouh the sister passed,but he also lied that he has cancer and has been going through operations like 5 times which is not true.He has never allowed me to know where he lives or his people so tha Issue of Relationship I wrote off long time ago.But I have been trying to hold my peace if I can recover anything all this time but the chances are minimal.This was just a conman but I realized to late.
What can I do fellow Wazuans? Am stressed beyong.Jobless and losing all that I ever worked hard for
During the period did you guys consumate the forbidden fruit? Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 1/8/2018 Posts: 2,211 Location: DC (Dustbowl County)
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aemathenge wrote:How would describe your relationship with your father?
Today, you are the sum total of what you have gone through since birth.
Most of your interactions with men arise from a template created from that you and your father have had all along.
Sit down with him and honestly describe what you are going through.
Otherwise, you are doomed to a life of pain. That includes your child and grand children unless you fix this. Sad but true. But perhaps papa was a rolling stone so was not in her life? Some of these problems are purely generational but the cycle can still be broken whether he is around or not. Many people come from broken homes (or even worse childhood traumas) and are still able to get it together and live relatively stable lives thereafter without these sorts of shidas she went through.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 1/8/2018 Posts: 2,211 Location: DC (Dustbowl County)
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Euge wrote:Pole sana my sister. This is tricky. Its hard to recover money from a con. Unless you use system ya majambazi. It will cost you money which you do not have right now. Better to postpone this to a later date when you are stable. Also do note that friends and family may desert you in this very time of need. Its an opportunity for you to know who is true to you. Focus on yourself and baby. Talk to God and tell him that your life and your baby's is HIS business. Tell him to sort you out. He will. I have learnt to be wary of people who have problem after problem grand ma sick, dad fell and broke his leg, cow went to neighbor's shamba etc.... 99.9% of the time they are cons. I wish you the very best my sister. Do not give up hope. Please don't. Its gonna be fine. Its only a matter of time You can say that again. Strange that she did not see the huge red flag that even the man's own family refused to step in to sort their dying child's issue yet the smooth criminal duped her into doing so. As Christians we are called to help by the good book - yes. But we are also warned against being foolish when dealing with angry or dangerous/criminally minded enemies. Nowhere are we told to take on 100% of their problems!
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Rank: Hello Joined: 4/6/2019 Posts: 3 Location: Nairobi
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Thank you all for your response.And did somebody say that people will tend to show me their back.Yes,am all alone in this except my daughter and definitely God.They are the only ones who gives me reason to look for another day.Even my own pastor who has told me that he has reached his limit and so am on my own.He is right coz sincerely there's nothing he can do.Remember I was not doing anything in darkness.At some point,I even invited this Conman to Church and he met the Pastor & an Apostle who was a police CID ,but the guy slipped in our hands just like that.He asked to be given one month to sort out his rent to be able to be access his documents(tittle deed) to enable the transfer but that was the last time we saw him.He even called the mother before us to confirm how the dad is critically sick so I have a feeling that even the parents are involve.I was thinking of tracing their home to talk to parents but I believe it might not help much.
My father died long time ago and its true the r/ship wasn't good since he used to be drunk 24/7.
However,I thank God for one think,loosing my Job is a blessing in disguise since I could have not known the true colors of this conman.I still dont understand why he insisted that I add his name to my childs birth certificate.When I told him that I was going to do name correction with the ministry,he quickly signed an affidavit and gave me a copy of his ID to include him as the father.So I wonder whether he also wanted to steal my daughter as well or this was just meant to fool me around.Fortunately,at that moment I was not convinced that there was love that could lead to marriage.During that period I was only waiting for him to transfer the tittle so that I can cut ties but somehow he was smarter than me.
My only prayer to God now is that he may restore back my Job.I will be able to repay back the loan and provide basic needs for my child which is currently impossible.
But I also have to accept the fact that I dont know how to pray.Am saying so because at the beginning of this r/ship I involve God.I fasted for three days asking God whether it was worth getting into.But am getting my answers when its a bit too late.And remember God does no mistake,so I am the problem or God allowed it to happen for some reasons, I dont know.
I wish I had the capacity to expose the conman in the media so that some of my sisters being conned right now out there may be safe.But again,I fear for my security since the cruel criminal is smart and now I know he can do anything.I remember him saying very well that Jaque Maribe's boyfriend was stupid."How can he madder someone leaving evidence every where,that must have been his first time"
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/1/2011 Posts: 8,804 Location: Nairobi
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Trufena, check on two books with practical exercises:
1. 'Meditations and Healings' - Stephen Levine
2. 'Philosophy for all people's - Zachary Augustine
With them you'll be able to start discerning the truth behind your situation and you're likely to start coming out of your depression.
Sorry about your pastor saying that Christ can do nothing more for you. That's not true. Christ has much for you. I hope you're also going to experience his wealth and power as you heal.
Happy healing.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 8/4/2008 Posts: 2,849 Location: Rupi
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Trufena wrote:Thank you all for your response.And did somebody say that people will tend to show me their back.Yes,am all alone in this except my daughter and definitely God.They are the only ones who gives me reason to look for another day.Even my own pastor who has told me that he has reached his limit and so am on my own.He is right coz sincerely there's nothing he can do.Remember I was not doing anything in darkness.At some point,I even invited this Conman to Church and he met the Pastor & an Apostle who was a police CID ,but the guy slipped in our hands just like that.He asked to be given one month to sort out his rent to be able to be access his documents(tittle deed) to enable the transfer but that was the last time we saw him.He even called the mother before us to confirm how the dad is critically sick so I have a feeling that even the parents are involve.I was thinking of tracing their home to talk to parents but I believe it might not help much.
My father died long time ago and its true the r/ship wasn't good since he used to be drunk 24/7.
However,I thank God for one think,loosing my Job is a blessing in disguise since I could have not known the true colors of this conman.I still dont understand why he insisted that I add his name to my childs birth certificate.When I told him that I was going to do name correction with the ministry,he quickly signed an affidavit and gave me a copy of his ID to include him as the father.So I wonder whether he also wanted to steal my daughter as well or this was just meant to fool me around.Fortunately,at that moment I was not convinced that there was love that could lead to marriage.During that period I was only waiting for him to transfer the tittle so that I can cut ties but somehow he was smarter than me.
My only prayer to God now is that he may restore back my Job.I will be able to repay back the loan and provide basic needs for my child which is currently impossible.
But I also have to accept the fact that I dont know how to pray.Am saying so because at the beginning of this r/ship I involve God.I fasted for three days asking God whether it was worth getting into.But am getting my answers when its a bit too late.And remember God does no mistake,so I am the problem or God allowed it to happen for some reasons, I dont know.
I wish I had the capacity to expose the conman in the media so that some of my sisters being conned right now out there may be safe.But again,I fear for my security since the cruel criminal is smart and now I know he can do anything.I remember him saying very well that Jaque Maribe's boyfriend was stupid."How can he madder someone leaving evidence every where,that must have been his first time"
This is purely a woman eater. Jowie's twin brother. Don't get disappointed by your pastor, some of them are mwitu they seek to benefit from you and not to help. So will not be adding value to their deep pockets by being broke. Grab the lesson from this painful experience and run with it. Focus on you and your child. God knows. Keep whispering to him and telling him to sort you out. He sure will. And open your heart to forgive this rugged crook. So that you can heal. Lord, thank you!
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