There is a lot of deception in relationships and not necessarily infidelity. The proper idea of intimacy should be to unravel those deceptions till people see each other as they are and are OK with what they see.

This however is a lot of work and many people are too busy to do it so people settle at superficial relationships. Watu hawafungui roho to each other instead they survive on what their friends tell them about their spouses. A guy feels happy when his friends tell him "my guy, you are lucky, you got a good woman" and the girl is also being complimented by her friends and relatives. Meanwhile the 2 of them do not know each other deeply enough but they enjoy the illusion and keeping up the appearance.

The Amish people, those guys in the US who reject modernity and still use horses even in the modern day do not take photos because they say it violates the second commandment, "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image". Sometimes I have found myself contemplating this and I think they might be up to something profound.

Just do this experiment and see for yourself. If you are on any social media platform just look at the comments when someone has posted a picture of themselves or they spouse or their children. It takes less than a second to take a picture but the comments posted below pictures make statements on such wide ranging topics from the health of the individual, to how beautiful they are to how happy they are to how well they are doing etc. All of this is inferred from one image which took 1 millisecond. People can live in fantasy land and not know it.

So very true

This happens to guys whose first investment is their WiFi. The moment you need one to procreate and u inverse the brooding roles. Then you are trapped and heart breaks are 6*4*6 deep.
Every lady should allow their men to shaggs otherwise they have no family if she get shagged.

A simplistic view:
A woman will forgive a man who cheats if she is convinced he shagged other woman yes, but he does not really luv her (the other woman) and appears remorseful. To them love is paramount.

But if the man says he loves her (the other woman) then for the woman in the r'ship, its game over. Coz women are more emotional.

Men are physical, think about sex quite a lot and the actual sex act means everything to a man - so if your significant other is dishing it out, to men it means she is giving out her all. Nothing left for him. Even if she says she loves him, he will say,'...na mbona ulimtolea suruali...'
Coz to men sex is more impt.
So for men that marks game over...

The problem with marriages is that women have become too easy unlike before awhile men are too spoilt for choice making making them bad-mannered.

Before you condemn my thinking, go sit in a club for an hour and observe men picking girls up and especially observe how easy it is. I went to one club last night with my better half and it's just appalling.

https://www.bikozulu.co.ke/five-year-contract/

Came across this article by Biko and I thought this is the most appropriate thread to put it.

Here is a gentleman who I would rate as a perfect husband and father. An AA rating no doubt. But he got paired with a selfish narcissist and he won't quit.

How has he not figured out that she is obviously shagging someone else out there ?

And why not slap the bi#*h to restore factory settings ?

No man should take this crap. It will affect his kids in future. The son will always have self-esteem issues around women. The daughter will never respect any man after seeing the dad being treated like a doormat by the mom.

Disclaimers;
1. I don't believe in love so my rantings should be understood from that standpoint.
2. I don't believe anyone should stay in a marriage because of kids. That is cowardice.
3. I am not a good husband. A great father yes, but husband, maybe not.

HE IS DOING EVERTHING WRONG. HE IS THE ONE FEEDING IT.

kind of father who bathes his kids, I make breakfast every Saturday morning while she sleeps, while most men I know are nursing a hangie or even never showed up at home! As in when she wakes up and finds breakfast ready do you know what she says when she sits at the table what bullshit is this!. It should be like once half a year or never.

I see guys who are the opposite of me, they don’t do shit at home, they run around shagging girls, but their wives seem to appreciate them, yet I, who does things by the book, my wife thinks I’m no good?!!”
he knows the solution he is just afraid of getting out of comfort zone.

Every year I take the family for a holiday. Church is important to her so I choose to take it seriously even though I’m in a crisis of faith somewhat at this moment in my life. I have made what’s important to her important to me but it’s not enough and I feel unappreciated. I’m not enough for her.”
he needs to put Him as 1st priority, always! not kids, not wife, HIM. that way he can be there for the kids in future. without him being 1st priority in his life, he might die of depression and never be there for the kids

He says that he is the one who goes for all the children’s school activities; prize giving, sports day, open days, swimming galas. He takes cake to the school during birthdays, waiting around to cut it, sing and blow balloons. “When I go to these school events, I’m always one of the three dads at the function.”

He needs to act busy even when he is not. Create fictitious work on a saturday and go to the 'office'. Divert on the way and have a full body massage with happy ending. He will be smilling at home with empty balls and the wife wondering, 'is this guy on drugs?

Evilness on steroids

@Ngogoyo, you are the real deal. Our brother @swenani should chip in and tell wazuans that the "massage" business is the fastest growing in the city. He should know because he has one outlet in Kilimani.