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Time out vs kiboko
Rank: New-farer Joined: 1/27/2019 Posts: 55 Location: Nbo
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Respectful ladies and gentlemen....does time out work with kids or the age old kiboko that was handed down by our folks is the sure fire way to ensure you don't bring up brats!Comments and thoughts welcomed..
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 1/20/2011 Posts: 1,820 Location: Nakuru
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Mbarire_2019 wrote:Respectful ladies and gentlemen....does time out work with kids or the age old kiboko that was handed down by our folks is the sure fire way to ensure you don't bring up brats!Comments and thoughts welcomed.. Spare the rod and spoil the child Dumb money becomes dumb only when it listens to smart money
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Rank: Elder Joined: 9/23/2009 Posts: 8,083 Location: Enk are Nyirobi
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Mbarire_2019 wrote:Respectful ladies and gentlemen....does time out work with kids or the age old kiboko that was handed down by our folks is the sure fire way to ensure you don't bring up brats!Comments and thoughts welcomed.. I thought you are talking about "Kiboko Club" the kids show Life is short. Live passionately.
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 1/27/2019 Posts: 55 Location: Nbo
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Fyatu wrote:Mbarire_2019 wrote:Respectful ladies and gentlemen....does time out work with kids or the age old kiboko that was handed down by our folks is the sure fire way to ensure you don't bring up brats!Comments and thoughts welcomed.. Spare the rod and spoil the child Thanks fyatu...but this spanking aka kiboko...might this also translate to the kids also beating others in school since wazazi ndio wamewaonyesha kuchapwa!
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 1/27/2019 Posts: 55 Location: Nbo
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sparkly wrote:Mbarire_2019 wrote:Respectful ladies and gentlemen....does time out work with kids or the age old kiboko that was handed down by our folks is the sure fire way to ensure you don't bring up brats!Comments and thoughts welcomed.. I thought you are talking about "Kiboko Club" the kids show  you're funny sparkly
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 1/20/2011 Posts: 1,820 Location: Nakuru
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Mbarire_2019 wrote:Fyatu wrote:Mbarire_2019 wrote:Respectful ladies and gentlemen....does time out work with kids or the age old kiboko that was handed down by our folks is the sure fire way to ensure you don't bring up brats!Comments and thoughts welcomed.. Spare the rod and spoil the child Thanks fyatu...but this spanking aka kiboko...might this also translate to the kids also beating others in school since wazazi ndio wamewaonyesha kuchapwa! No. I don't think so. Kiboko serves to make the kid learn that there are repercussions for bad behavior. Juzi juzi i saw a kid throwing serious tantrums in a supermarket just because the mum refused to buy chokolate. The mum stood there helpless with her embarrassed calls for 'baba'/ 'kababa' to tone-it-down falling to deaf ears. I remember when i was growing up my mum would just contort her face kiasi and i will automatically tii as in kutii. Hapa Mombasani they say "samaki mkunje angali mmbichi". Dumb money becomes dumb only when it listens to smart money
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/20/2008 Posts: 6,275 Location: Kenya
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From my experience, there is no "One size fits all" approach to bringing up kids... Among my kids, there is one whom I never, ever applied corporal punishment!
What I did was for sensitive kids, be less strict, use verbal more... As for tough kids, be more strict, sometimes kiboko is necessary. So, for both types, boundaries are relaxed as expectations are achieved and boundaries are contracted when expectations are not met/upheld. And if they persist, then either timeout for the sensitive one and kiboko for the rough one...
In the meantime, all the time, lead by example. Be a partner to the kid. So that you help them find safe ways to explore what draws them, because we want them to learn by making mistakes too.
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Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,237 Location: Vacuum
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Mbarire_2019 wrote:Fyatu wrote:Mbarire_2019 wrote:Respectful ladies and gentlemen....does time out work with kids or the age old kiboko that was handed down by our folks is the sure fire way to ensure you don't bring up brats!Comments and thoughts welcomed.. Spare the rod and spoil the child Thanks fyatu...but this spanking aka kiboko...might this also translate to the kids also beating others in school since wazazi ndio wamewaonyesha kuchapwa! Mimi, I practice and escalate in the following order 1.Verbal warning 2.Negative incentives-withdrawal or limiting of TV time, play,going out,withdrawing toys etc 3.solitary confinement aka Grounding-Staying in the the room for specified duration 4. Kiboko If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/7/2012 Posts: 11,908
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Swenani wrote:Mbarire_2019 wrote:Fyatu wrote:Mbarire_2019 wrote:Respectful ladies and gentlemen....does time out work with kids or the age old kiboko that was handed down by our folks is the sure fire way to ensure you don't bring up brats!Comments and thoughts welcomed.. Spare the rod and spoil the child Thanks fyatu...but this spanking aka kiboko...might this also translate to the kids also beating others in school since wazazi ndio wamewaonyesha kuchapwa! Mimi, I practice and escalate in the following order
1.Verbal warning
2.Negative incentives-withdrawal or limiting of TV time, play,going out,withdrawing toys etc
3.solitary confinement aka Grounding-Staying in the the room for specified duration
4. Kiboko These are very good but use them randomly - try not to be routine and predictable. Also get to know what each like and reward them when they do well and deny them when they are on the wrong. Once in a while also talk to them, tell them what you feel but forgive. Finally kama mbaya sana rudisha kwa babayake In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins - cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later - H Geneen
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 1/27/2019 Posts: 55 Location: Nbo
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Invaluable insight thank you all....if somebody told me how intense parenting is I would've saved my eggs for MUUUCH LATER Kama Niko karibu ku retire in life then now I bring forth life  gives you more time to cruise the world,travel etc
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/28/2015 Posts: 9,562 Location: Rodi Kopany, Homa Bay
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Angelica _ann wrote:Swenani wrote:Mbarire_2019 wrote:Fyatu wrote:Mbarire_2019 wrote:Respectful ladies and gentlemen....does time out work with kids or the age old kiboko that was handed down by our folks is the sure fire way to ensure you don't bring up brats!Comments and thoughts welcomed.. Spare the rod and spoil the child Thanks fyatu...but this spanking aka kiboko...might this also translate to the kids also beating others in school since wazazi ndio wamewaonyesha kuchapwa! Mimi, I practice and escalate in the following order
1.Verbal warning
2.Negative incentives-withdrawal or limiting of TV time, play,going out,withdrawing toys etc
3.solitary confinement aka Grounding-Staying in the the room for specified duration
4. Kiboko These are very good but use them randomly - try not to be routine and predictable. Also get to know what each like and reward them when they do well and deny them when they are on the wrong. Once in a while also talk to them, tell them what you feel but forgive. Finally kama mbaya sana rudisha kwa babayake Are you suggesting that the fishmonger chose to go for a ready made family complete with (some other man's) kids? 
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Rank: Member Joined: 1/24/2011 Posts: 407 Location: Nairobi,Kenya
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AlphDoti wrote:From my experience, there is no "One size fits all" approach to bringing up kids... Among my kids, there is one whom I never, ever applied corporal punishment!
What I did was for sensitive kids, be less strict, use verbal more... As for tough kids, be more strict, sometimes kiboko is necessary. So, for both types, boundaries are relaxed as expectations are achieved and boundaries are contracted when expectations are not met/upheld. And if they persist, then either timeout for the sensitive one and kiboko for the rough one...
In the meantime, all the time, lead by example. Be a partner to the kid. So that you help them find safe ways to explore what draws them, because we want them to learn by making mistakes too. Very true..one of my kids is very naughty and I realized that he requires some corporal punishment sometimes.However the other two are easily corrected through firm talk .An interesting thing I noted was when the naughty one was given the cane,the other two readjusted themselves immediately and never even attempt to veer towards that particular behavior that caused the other to be punished. Hope is not a strategy
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 1/27/2019 Posts: 55 Location: Nbo
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Thank you all for your insights...Angelica I like the rudishia babayake one.kwanza some men hawajui kulea wanawachia mama.glad to see most wazuans are hands on 
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Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,237 Location: Vacuum
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hardwood wrote:Angelica _ann wrote:Swenani wrote:Mbarire_2019 wrote:Fyatu wrote:Mbarire_2019 wrote:Respectful ladies and gentlemen....does time out work with kids or the age old kiboko that was handed down by our folks is the sure fire way to ensure you don't bring up brats!Comments and thoughts welcomed.. Spare the rod and spoil the child Thanks fyatu...but this spanking aka kiboko...might this also translate to the kids also beating others in school since wazazi ndio wamewaonyesha kuchapwa! Mimi, I practice and escalate in the following order
1.Verbal warning
2.Negative incentives-withdrawal or limiting of TV time, play,going out,withdrawing toys etc
3.solitary confinement aka Grounding-Staying in the the room for specified duration
4. Kiboko These are very good but use them randomly - try not to be routine and predictable. Also get to know what each like and reward them when they do well and deny them when they are on the wrong. Once in a while also talk to them, tell them what you feel but forgive. Finally kama mbaya sana rudisha kwa babayake Are you suggesting that the fishmonger chose to go for a ready made family complete with (some other man's) kids? Lol,mnajoin makales huko hell. If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 8/25/2012 Posts: 1,826
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sanity wrote:AlphDoti wrote:From my experience, there is no "One size fits all" approach to bringing up kids... Among my kids, there is one whom I never, ever applied corporal punishment!
What I did was for sensitive kids, be less strict, use verbal more... As for tough kids, be more strict, sometimes kiboko is necessary. So, for both types, boundaries are relaxed as expectations are achieved and boundaries are contracted when expectations are not met/upheld. And if they persist, then either timeout for the sensitive one and kiboko for the rough one...
In the meantime, all the time, lead by example. Be a partner to the kid. So that you help them find safe ways to explore what draws them, because we want them to learn by making mistakes too. Very true..one of my kids is very naughty and I realized that he requires some corporal punishment sometimes.However the other two are easily corrected through firm talk .An interesting thing I noted was when the naughty one was given the cane,the other two readjusted themselves immediately and never even attempt to veer towards that particular behavior that caused the other to be punished.  yaani you have zeroed in on one kid to serve as a lesson to the others, which side between your spouse and you is kid named
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Rank: Member Joined: 10/26/2011 Posts: 181 Location: Nairobi
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Angelica _ann wrote:Swenani wrote:Mbarire_2019 wrote:Fyatu wrote:Mbarire_2019 wrote:Respectful ladies and gentlemen....does time out work with kids or the age old kiboko that was handed down by our folks is the sure fire way to ensure you don't bring up brats!Comments and thoughts welcomed.. Spare the rod and spoil the child Thanks fyatu...but this spanking aka kiboko...might this also translate to the kids also beating others in school since wazazi ndio wamewaonyesha kuchapwa! Mimi, I practice and escalate in the following order
1.Verbal warning
2.Negative incentives-withdrawal or limiting of TV time, play,going out,withdrawing toys etc
3.solitary confinement aka Grounding-Staying in the the room for specified duration
4. Kiboko These are very good but use them randomly - try not to be routine and predictable. Also get to know what each like and reward them when they do well and deny them when they are on the wrong. Once in a while also talk to them, tell them what you feel but forgive. Finally kama mbaya sana rudisha kwa babayake For mine, just keeping the “mwiko” nearby and mentioning it when tabia degenerated served as a good deterrent when they were young. I am sure I used it a couple times when the message didn’t sink in. Now that they are older, HS and above, occasional grounding and/or denying their requests for things like movies or eating out, if they are not nice, does the trick. But wife is more disciplinarian than myself, so I won't take too much credit. First time in history we can save the human race by laying in front of the TV and doing nothing. Let's not screw it up
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 1/27/2019 Posts: 55 Location: Nbo
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Apricot wrote:Angelica _ann wrote:Swenani wrote:Mbarire_2019 wrote:Fyatu wrote:Mbarire_2019 wrote:Respectful ladies and gentlemen....does time out work with kids or the age old kiboko that was handed down by our folks is the sure fire way to ensure you don't bring up brats!Comments and thoughts welcomed.. Spare the rod and spoil the child Thanks fyatu...but this spanking aka kiboko...might this also translate to the kids also beating others in school since wazazi ndio wamewaonyesha kuchapwa! Mimi, I practice and escalate in the following order
1.Verbal warning
2.Negative incentives-withdrawal or limiting of TV time, play,going out,withdrawing toys etc
3.solitary confinement aka Grounding-Staying in the the room for specified duration
4. Kiboko These are very good but use them randomly - try not to be routine and predictable. Also get to know what each like and reward them when they do well and deny them when they are on the wrong. Once in a while also talk to them, tell them what you feel but forgive. Finally kama mbaya sana rudisha kwa babayake For mine, just keeping the “mwiko” nearby and mentioning it when tabia degenerated served as a good deterrent when they were young. I am sure I used it a couple times when the message didn’t sink in. Now that they are older, HS and above, occasional grounding and/or denying their requests for things like movies or eating out, if they are not nice, does the trick. But wife is more disciplinarian than myself, so I won't take too much credit. Apricot I like the mwiko bit.. my toddlers/young children ruler ndio kiboko and nikama wameizoea maybe I should graduate to a small mwiko
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Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,237 Location: Vacuum
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Mbarire_2019 wrote:Apricot wrote:Angelica _ann wrote:Swenani wrote:Mbarire_2019 wrote:Fyatu wrote:Mbarire_2019 wrote:Respectful ladies and gentlemen....does time out work with kids or the age old kiboko that was handed down by our folks is the sure fire way to ensure you don't bring up brats!Comments and thoughts welcomed.. Spare the rod and spoil the child Thanks fyatu...but this spanking aka kiboko...might this also translate to the kids also beating others in school since wazazi ndio wamewaonyesha kuchapwa! Mimi, I practice and escalate in the following order
1.Verbal warning
2.Negative incentives-withdrawal or limiting of TV time, play,going out,withdrawing toys etc
3.solitary confinement aka Grounding-Staying in the the room for specified duration
4. Kiboko These are very good but use them randomly - try not to be routine and predictable. Also get to know what each like and reward them when they do well and deny them when they are on the wrong. Once in a while also talk to them, tell them what you feel but forgive. Finally kama mbaya sana rudisha kwa babayake For mine, just keeping the “mwiko” nearby and mentioning it when tabia degenerated served as a good deterrent when they were young. I am sure I used it a couple times when the message didn’t sink in. Now that they are older, HS and above, occasional grounding and/or denying their requests for things like movies or eating out, if they are not nice, does the trick. But wife is more disciplinarian than myself, so I won't take too much credit. Apricot I like the mwiko bit.. my toddlers/young children ruler ndio kiboko and nikama wameizoea maybe I should graduate to a small mwiko If you make caning more frequently,the kids become accustomed to it. If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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Rank: Member Joined: 10/26/2011 Posts: 181 Location: Nairobi
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Swenani wrote:Mbarire_2019 wrote:Apricot wrote:Angelica _ann wrote:Swenani wrote:Mbarire_2019 wrote:Fyatu wrote:Mbarire_2019 wrote:Respectful ladies and gentlemen....does time out work with kids or the age old kiboko that was handed down by our folks is the sure fire way to ensure you don't bring up brats!Comments and thoughts welcomed.. Spare the rod and spoil the child Thanks fyatu...but this spanking aka kiboko...might this also translate to the kids also beating others in school since wazazi ndio wamewaonyesha kuchapwa! Mimi, I practice and escalate in the following order
1.Verbal warning
2.Negative incentives-withdrawal or limiting of TV time, play,going out,withdrawing toys etc
3.solitary confinement aka Grounding-Staying in the the room for specified duration
4. Kiboko These are very good but use them randomly - try not to be routine and predictable. Also get to know what each like and reward them when they do well and deny them when they are on the wrong. Once in a while also talk to them, tell them what you feel but forgive. Finally kama mbaya sana rudisha kwa babayake For mine, just keeping the “mwiko” nearby and mentioning it when tabia degenerated served as a good deterrent when they were young. I am sure I used it a couple times when the message didn’t sink in. Now that they are older, HS and above, occasional grounding and/or denying their requests for things like movies or eating out, if they are not nice, does the trick. But wife is more disciplinarian than myself, so I won't take too much credit. Apricot I like the mwiko bit.. my toddlers/young children ruler ndio kiboko and nikama wameizoea maybe I should graduate to a small mwiko If you make caning more frequently,the kids become accustomed to it. I agree. Threatening to use the mwiko tended to instill greater fear of than when you actually use it. Just tapping it on your hands as you sternly issued the reprimand you tended to see the desired effect. First time in history we can save the human race by laying in front of the TV and doing nothing. Let's not screw it up
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