Better yet, if you maintain looks, hustle and respectable behaviour, ladies will not want to rattle the boat of your relationship by doing things like looking through your phone. Watakupatia heshima unastahili. I'm 100% sure Michelle Obama does not do stupid things to rattle her relationship with Barack. The badness of Kenyan men is thinking pesa ni kila kitu and you can become lazy on other things after you sort the money side.

That Number 2 is very true. Reminds me of a story I heard of a guy who had perfected the act. He was very meticulous and made sure to dot all i's and cross all t's so that he had never been caught for many years.

Unfortunately his mpango was a very good honest woman but not very streetsmart. She used to live in those plots with an outside bathroom and whenever the guy showed up she would cook for him, entertain him and finally prepare for him hot "maji ya kuoga" in a karai and put it in the bafu.

One day the mzee was in the bafu taking a bath kama kawaida when his phone rang. Mpango picked and it was wife on the other end:

Mpango: Hallo

Wife: Baba Denis

Mpango: Baba Denis hayuko karibu ako kwa bafu anaoga....


I did not get to hear the rest of the story because my ribs were hurting from so much laughter so I can't tell you if Baba Denis is still alive or he was murdered.