All the 3 statements about me are all false. I told Mukiri one time when he tried to go tribal way that he can be so shocked to know my tribe... try again...

Having been a member for about a year (after 10 years of lurking) these are my impressions of Wazoo-ans of note (so far).

maka: sharp, sober, a little arrogant but generally a good citizen.
tycho: an enigma but not in a good way. Tries too hard to sound smart but his rambling posts betray him. Would be very interesting to meet this chap in person. He is probably 4 ft 3 with a monster tumbo but gentle mien in real life.
hardwood Dependable, smart, forward looking. Hana maneno mengi. When he "speaks" on Wazoo, he has something important to say. But a bit detached and aloof on matters of national interest.
Double A: I am scared to bump into this mama in real life. Most probably pushing 60, rotund with a brash loud voice that grates the ear. Talking to her will be like talking to the wind. You ask her, "So how is your day going so far?" and she will respond with "Panganga yako ni ya nini? But we moved the capital to Dodoma!" Don't respond. Just put as much distance as you can between yourself and her without trying too much to figure out where Dodoma came into the picture.
BigChick: as her name says, ni ka-momo but a friendly one. Catch her on Ngong road in her spandex with headphones huyooooo jogging away year in year out. BUt well respected in the corporate circles in Juja where she knows all the major mucene about who made what money where. If you are a corporate dude in Juja be very afraid.
Gathige Mzee wa kijiji sitting on a three legged stool. One of the most sober and progressive chaps on Wazoo. But I have a niggling feeling that he zero grazes 20 dairy goats behind his manse in beautiful Kiserian. To be sold to kaburus in Karen who consider goat cheese a miracle food.
S Mutaga III As his name suggests, he is the third generation of a long line of well known stock market gurus. He can be spotted near Odeon in his red jacket, brown shoes and godpapa hat eating chips with a toothpick very early in the morning right before he treks to his office at University Way to trade stocks furiously.
Lolest A tall lanky chap with a cheshire cat grin and polite demeanor. Can be spotted at Nairobi chapel leading worship with very vigorous mtingizo juu chini juu chini until his clothes are soaked in sweat. His daytime job is insurance sales. Kafielder ka-brue KAZ is what he is seen rolling in day in day out.
Mukiri This man is not a man you want to meet in a dark alley at night! Toivo is his food 24/7. You wil catch a whiff of Sportsman sigara mixed with it if you are unfortunate enough to be nearby when he opens his mouth. 6 wives and 34 kids. All of the kids are named Boi for simplicity purposes (memory).
Ericsson He used to be "first body" in primo so he carries that confidence wherever he posts on Wazoo. Elaborate discussions are for wimps to him. Everything must be answered with a one liner befitting a first body who can clobber you any time into agreeing with him.
Spikes: The man trades bitcoin from his Tecno smart phone while sitting in his bedsitter in Mwiki. Always dresses sharply in dapper suits when you spot him in town with his briefcase. A woman client of his almost collapsed in mirth when she discovered that there were nails, hammer and other equipment inside the suitcase of the sharply dressed carpenter she had called to come fix her table.
oombalbt: Too trusting. Lends to relatives and relatives fuaaaa and ends up holding the bag.
SuperPrime1 A tall muscular chap with an arrogant air as he traipses through town. Sneers at peons and paupers on online forums who are not as rich as he is. At night retreats to his mabati shack at Mukuru kwa Reuben that he rents. Petty Ngeta is how he makes ends meet.
Wukan: Walks with a little bit of a gay swing but is generally very well organised in all he does. Hates dust with a passion. Writes long reports for Cytonn about billion shilling skyscrapers. But owns nothing. A stereotypical talker, zero action.
Sparkly Usimuone hivi hivi this man is a big shot businessman who gambles on NSE for the heck of it. Usiku find him at Rafikiz with two leggy slay queens buying rounds of Johnny Walker like it was nothing to him while mama watoto eats sukuma with sembe plain, no meat.
ngogoyo: A short slim lady who likes knitting home alone to pass time.
Obiero Phd, Esq, MBA, Fil.Cons, Wandex online owner bululu twafff! This is another silent killer. Do not let the big empty digiriris fool ya. Kanjamaa kana blocks of flats littered all over South B, dustbowl and beyond. Ukali nayo? Can slash you juu chini with a panga if you leta nyoko nyoko. Tread carefully when around him.
Pablo: After he spilled the beans on the construction industry, he became a marked man. Hiding away in Bagamoyo TZ after he received death threats. This is why kamepotea kabisaaaa.
A4aarchitect: Was a humble dude offering free mawaidhas while his office was in Kinoo. After he made his first 50m he upgraded in Karen and silly wazoo and its cheap discussions all of a sudden were beneath him. Still lurks through Wazoo once in a blue moon on the dash screen of his S-class while in Ngong road traffic
Shak Works for Physical planning office at Nairobi County HQ. The go to guy when you need to get approvals for your mbao hen house.
Swenani: Humble mzito with a sense of humour. Another one you should not underestimate. But loves the bottle and slay queen a litro too much.
mawinder: Half karashinga with very informative posts. Rumoured to be connected to the underworld
young Millenial in a hurry to get ahead. Asks all the right questions but a little bit naive. Time should sort him out.
tom_boy: A butch girl who likes yellow yellow tumatunda girlies. Can angusha vodka like any man, belches and all
maundiwambeu A harmless looking but dangerous man. Huyu njamaa made hay while the sun shone while he was in ngava. Quietly retired in his sprawling 60m 12 room manse on Kangundo road. Is always spotted near Harambee house trying to get someone to hook him back on the tenders gravy train for old times sake.
Alpha-doti Mkosti with rags on his head always heading huyooo to Jamia Mosque. His favourite book is the Christian Bible. Has a neglected camel farm in Garissa but since his cousin is Duale he would rather stick in Nairofi and piga gumzo about nothing under a grevillea tree with his fellow waisilamu.
tony_stark: One of the most interesting cheps on Wazoo. This man had been deported from Belgium about a decade ago. Nobody knows what he does for a living. Matusi nayo? Expert ni yeye. He learned the hard way while dealing drugs in Brussels rough streets. Speaks french fluently and always bears baggy jeans and shades. His hero is Jowie. Frequently seen at Kiza.

Na gama yako haiko haiko
Hizi ni maoni yangu tu!