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Recovering from a slippery debtor
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ombaalbt
#1 Posted : Friday, December 28, 2018 11:51:31 AM
Rank: New-farer


Joined: 5/19/2014
Posts: 68
Location: Migori
It is a bad idea to lend money to a friend. But those who have found themselves in this pit how did you handle the situation to get your money back especially if you have scanty evidence of the transaction.
Learning to sit on my hands
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MugundaMan
#2 Posted : Friday, December 28, 2018 12:12:29 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 1/8/2018
Posts: 2,211
Location: DC (Dustbowl County)
Pole ndugu,
Friends and family members are the WORST people to lend to because they know "you aint gonna do nothing" even if they default. If it is a small debt just move on. Life is too short. Karma will get them down the line. If a large one involve others who know you mutually. The embarrassment of being known as a defaulter (which is just a euphemism for thief) might prompt them to pay. Offer them a payment plan if they cannot pay it all in full at once. Keep harassing them and sooner or later they will cave in.

My tips on lending (to anyone)
1. If amounts are small always tell them to send a text saying they are borrowing such and such amount from you on this day and will pay it back on such and such terms on such and such a date, then lend via Mpesa for record purposes.
2. Always demand collateral and/or a surety if the amounts are over 100k
3. Always make sure the fella has enough of an income to repay.
4. If the "business idea" or venture they suggest they are borrowing for strikes your gut feeling the wrong way (as unworkable) RUN! Especially if the ferra has zero experience or track record in it. You might never see your money again.
5. If the amounts are over 250k always involve a lawyer and an airtight, registered promissory note/lending agreement.
6. Avoid loan shark strong arm collection tactics unless you want to cool your heels in Kenya's filthy cells at some point.

Ni hayo maoni yangu tu!
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VyaBureSiachi
#3 Posted : Friday, December 28, 2018 12:34:21 PM
Rank: New-farer


Joined: 2/27/2018
Posts: 56
Location: Cambrian Dc
MugundaMan wrote:
Pole ndugu,
Friends and family members are the WORST people to lend to because they know "you aint gonna do nothing" even if they default. If it is a small debt just move on. Life is too short. Karma will get them down the line. If a large one involve others who know you mutually. The embarrassment of being known as a defaulter (which is just a euphemism for thief) might prompt them to pay. Offer them a payment plan if they cannot pay it all in full at once. Keep harassing them and sooner or later they will cave in.

My tips on lending (to anyone)
1. If amounts are small always tell them to send a text saying they are borrowing such and such amount from you on this day and will pay it back on such and such terms on such and such a date, then lend via Mpesa for record purposes.
2. Always demand collateral and/or a surety if the amounts are over 100k
3. Always make sure the fella has enough of an income to repay.
4. If the "business idea" or venture they suggest they are borrowing for strikes your gut feeling the wrong way (as unworkable) RUN! Especially if the ferra has zero experience or track record in it. You might never see your money again.
5. If the amounts are over 250k always involve a lawyer and an airtight, registered promissory note/lending agreement.
6. Avoid loan shark strong arm collection tactics unless you want to cool your heels in Kenya's filthy cells at some point.

Ni hayo maoni yangu tu!

Character is all that matters. The rest ni kelele.
If the radiance of a thousand suns were to burst at once into the sky that would be like the splendour of the mighty one.
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VyaBureSiachi
#4 Posted : Friday, December 28, 2018 12:40:42 PM
Rank: New-farer


Joined: 2/27/2018
Posts: 56
Location: Cambrian Dc
ombaalbt wrote:
It is a bad idea to lend money to a friend. But those who have found themselves in this pit how did you handle the situation to get your money back especially if you have scanty evidence of the transaction.

You can get goons to collect it for you.
I once lent cash to a 'friend' and he tried to play me na kizungu mingi. After six months of the games I went back home and got my childhood friends to sort him out. I got my money plus the interest by the end of the month.
If the radiance of a thousand suns were to burst at once into the sky that would be like the splendour of the mighty one.
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ombaalbt
#5 Posted : Friday, December 28, 2018 1:11:43 PM
Rank: New-farer


Joined: 5/19/2014
Posts: 68
Location: Migori
Thanks all for your responses. The 'friend' in mind is still running a profitable business. The business premise is open but he has been rarely available since I started making demands for my money back and he ignores my calls.
@VyaBureSiachi I'm not sure if the goons route won't land me into legal trouble and I don't have any friends of that kind. It's a huge amount that I can't just let go without a fight though (close to 0.5 M)
Learning to sit on my hands
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tom_boy
#6 Posted : Friday, December 28, 2018 7:54:32 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 2/20/2007
Posts: 767
ombaalbt wrote:
Thanks all for your responses. The 'friend' in mind is still running a profitable business. The business premise is open but he has been rarely available since I started making demands for my money back and he ignores my calls.
@VyaBureSiachi I'm not sure if the goons route won't land me into legal trouble and I don't have any friends of that kind. It's a huge amount that I can't just let go without a fight though (close to 0.5 M)



Get a debt collector. You may have to pay him 10% of amount collected.
They must find it difficult....... those who have taken authority as the truth, rather than truth as the authority. -G. Massey.
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MugundaMan
#7 Posted : Saturday, December 29, 2018 9:40:14 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 1/8/2018
Posts: 2,211
Location: DC (Dustbowl County)
ombaalbt wrote:
Thanks all for your responses. The 'friend' in mind is still running a profitable business. The business premise is open but he has been rarely available since I started making demands for my money back and he ignores my calls.
@VyaBureSiachi I'm not sure if the goons route won't land me into legal trouble and I don't have any friends of that kind. It's a huge amount that I can't just let go without a fight though (close to 0.5 M)


Go to his business premises with a placard written "Lipa Deni Yangu" and cause chaos with a never ending protest. Once his customers see the type of ferra they are buying from they will scatter. As soon as he sees things are getting thick financially he will pay up pronto.
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mawinder
#8 Posted : Sunday, December 30, 2018 8:58:34 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 4/30/2008
Posts: 6,029
ombaalbt wrote:
Thanks all for your responses. The 'friend' in mind is still running a profitable business. The business premise is open but he has been rarely available since I started making demands for my money back and he ignores my calls.
@VyaBureSiachi I'm not sure if the goons route won't land me into legal trouble and I don't have any friends of that kind. It's a huge amount that I can't just let go without a fight though (close to 0.5 M)

Not much money but can link you to some boys to deal with him once and for all
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2012
#9 Posted : Monday, December 31, 2018 2:21:46 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 12/9/2009
Posts: 6,592
Location: Nairobi
ombaalbt wrote:
Thanks all for your responses. The 'friend' in mind is still running a profitable business. The business premise is open but he has been rarely available since I started making demands for my money back and he ignores my calls.
@VyaBureSiachi I'm not sure if the goons route won't land me into legal trouble and I don't have any friends of that kind. It's a huge amount that I can't just let go without a fight though (close to 0.5 M)


Humiliation is the way to go if diplomacy doesn't work. If you are in the same circle of friends. Men hate humiliation more than death. Ask your mutual friends to contribute and bail him out.

Pole, but I'm surprised that you lend that much money to a "friend" and with nothing drawn up, hope you used a cheque or bank transfer for reference. Anyway, I'm sure you know now that you only lend to friends and family what you are ready to lose. If one comes for 100k, give them 5k or 10k. They take it gladly and never turn it down when you tell them it's all you can manage.

BBI will solve it :)
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MugundaMan
#10 Posted : Monday, December 31, 2018 2:36:53 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 1/8/2018
Posts: 2,211
Location: DC (Dustbowl County)
2012 wrote:
ombaalbt wrote:
Thanks all for your responses. The 'friend' in mind is still running a profitable business. The business premise is open but he has been rarely available since I started making demands for my money back and he ignores my calls.
@VyaBureSiachi I'm not sure if the goons route won't land me into legal trouble and I don't have any friends of that kind. It's a huge amount that I can't just let go without a fight though (close to 0.5 M)


Humiliation is the way to go if diplomacy doesn't work. If you are in the same circle of friends. Men hate humiliation more than death. Ask your mutual friends to contribute and bail him out.

Pole, but I'm surprised that you lend that much money to a "friend" and with nothing drawn up, hope you used a cheque or bank transfer for reference. Anyway, I'm sure you know now that you only lend to friends and family what you are ready to lose. If one comes for 100k, give them 5k or 10k. They take it gladly and never turn it down when you tell them it's all you can manage.
Great point.
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madhaquer
#11 Posted : Wednesday, January 02, 2019 10:12:28 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 11/10/2010
Posts: 281
Location: Nairobi
ombaalbt wrote:
It is a bad idea to lend money to a friend. But those who have found themselves in this pit how did you handle the situation to get your money back especially if you have scanty evidence of the transaction.


My advice.
If he treats you like trash, treat him worse.

Be prepared to shame him in all circles. (Family, friends, church, pub, business, workplace colleagues etc..). Make it extremely difficult for him to be trusted by anyone else. Shame his ass so he is uncomfortable coming out in public. Anywhere you find him, ask him for your money make sure others get to know it.
Go to his workplace and demand your money, show up in his house and demand your money just make it sickening for him.

1. find a mutual friend who is mature and both of you respect. Get him to arbitrate. He should basically call him out and get him to own up to having received the money.
2. Once he admits to owing the money, let him sign a commitment to repay with a date.
3. Use that deadline to follow him up. get a debt collector to use the commitment letter.

Choose to loose the friendship unless he comes clean and apologizes.
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Thornbird
#12 Posted : Wednesday, January 02, 2019 10:40:03 AM
Rank: New-farer


Joined: 12/13/2018
Posts: 28
I have used the idea of giving less than they asked for with a friend who was notorious for borrowing an never repaying. After extracting a promise that the friend would pay back the money I gave them an amount I could afford to lose. That was now my insurance and protection against further attempts to borrow because any time they tried I would just start asking when they would pay me back the previous amount and that put a stop to any more requests to "borrow".
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AlphDoti
#13 Posted : Thursday, January 03, 2019 10:03:27 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,274
Location: Kenya
Thornbird wrote:
I have used the idea of giving less than they asked for with a friend who was notorious for borrowing an never repaying. After extracting a promise that the friend would pay back the money I gave them an amount I could afford to lose. That was now my insurance and protection against further attempts to borrow because any time they tried I would just start asking when they would pay me back the previous amount and that put a stop to any more requests to "borrow".

This is similar to vehicle borrowing... Apart from the two or three people who can borrow my vehicle(s)... the rest I just pay for them fare on-way... If they want to take sick child to hospital, I would rather pay taxi one way. If a journey, I give him half the fare etc etc. Once a guy borrowed my car and when I picked it to use next it had some damage which he denied.
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