Sawa sawa masukuma. Now do this.. Disappear to the village and leave the car in kasarani police station. Be sure to alive at night.
Stay in the village for 2 days and stay indoors. Do not let anybody in the neighbourhood know that you are there. As your parents not to talk to anybody and not to tell anybody that you are there. Tell them that you need to rest as you are not feeling well.
At the third day call your wife using your mother's cell phone and tell her that your phone fell into the river five days ago as you almost drowned trying to rescue your dad's calf.
Go to the local clinic. Ask the clinical officer to "diagnise you with cholera" that you contracted in Nairobi and tell him to backdate the records to saturday including the prescription (1k should be enough).
Go to the local pharmacy and buy some piritons and dawanol and 2 varium tablets. Then go back home.
After this, perfect timing will be required...
Call your wife with your mothers cell phone and ask her to come along immediately. Mix some little omo into a tea cup full of water and stir till it dissolves and keep it ready for use.
In the meantime ask your mother to prepare for you alot of porradge.
When your wife approaches the village home, take 1 tablet of varium. Once home, before she steps into your room, drink a half of the water-omo mixture. Dispose the rest including the cup too. Take a lot of uji too.
From here you will be very sleepy. Twenty minutes later your wife will be running to the nearby shop to buy a dozen toilet papers.
An hour later you will be taken to a level 5 hospital and after that they will recommend that you be taken to referal hospital. Four hours later the effects of varium and omo will start wearing off...
When they see you open your eyes, they will forget about your disappearance as they know alot was at stake.
A friendly advice!
