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Is domestic violence justified K24?
Ngogoyo
#61 Posted : Tuesday, August 02, 2016 1:51:13 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 6/22/2011
Posts: 561
Location: House
AlphDoti wrote:
sparkly wrote:
This is controversial but hear me out. My grandfather once told me that people are just mammals, primates to be exact. The primate society is ruled with order, established through dominance. Equality in human societies is nothing more than a belief, a fallacy. Hence in any relationship, a woman is looking for security that the man provides for offspring.

A relationship where a man does not provide security or the woman does not feel secure is faulty. Such will result In the woman comparing the man to other men, esp the father, the ex or or the boss. General disrespect for the man even where he tries his best to provide for the family. In short, the woman becomes unruly. I am sure many married men have gone through this phase through their courtship and /or marriage. Yeah that phase where men feel like strangers in their own homes and the wife keeps on saying "my kitchen", "my house" and are tempted to escape to the bars and mipangos just to feel significant and influential.

Before it gets to that point, it is necessary to restore order through a show of dominance. A few slaps, some reflection and a promise that it will not recur if order is maintained is enough to restore the balance.

Word of caution, the show of dominance must be measured and intentional... make it clear that there is nothing personal, just maintaining order among the ranks.

It must not be habitual otherwise bottled anger, feeling of being trapped and resentment will arise. It must not degenerate into a drawn out cat fight otherwise the woman might be left with some doubts that maybe next time she might win.

If a man goes this route, he must also allow the woman's temper to subside, perhaps get a place to crash that night, otherwise he might wake up and find his transformer missing.

^^ words of my now deceased grandfather.

Those were exact words of my grandfather and my uncle. They thought me a lot that I look back now and see my good grown family, and I say, alhamdullillah!

Those who are not yet married are still in dream land.

This is what I told them here in my post #117 in 2013.


I rarely agree with you @doti but for this, 100% i do. Practically done it and now reaping the fruitssmile

But it has to be methodically done
AlphDoti
#62 Posted : Tuesday, August 02, 2016 6:02:31 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,275
Location: Kenya
Ngogoyo wrote:
AlphDoti wrote:
sparkly wrote:
This is controversial but hear me out. My grandfather once told me that people are just mammals, primates to be exact. The primate society is ruled with order, established through dominance. Equality in human societies is nothing more than a belief, a fallacy. Hence in any relationship, a woman is looking for security that the man provides for offspring.

A relationship where a man does not provide security or the woman does not feel secure is faulty. Such will result In the woman comparing the man to other men, esp the father, the ex or or the boss. General disrespect for the man even where he tries his best to provide for the family. In short, the woman becomes unruly. I am sure many married men have gone through this phase through their courtship and /or marriage. Yeah that phase where men feel like strangers in their own homes and the wife keeps on saying "my kitchen", "my house" and are tempted to escape to the bars and mipangos just to feel significant and influential.

Before it gets to that point, it is necessary to restore order through a show of dominance. A few slaps, some reflection and a promise that it will not recur if order is maintained is enough to restore the balance.

Word of caution, the show of dominance must be measured and intentional... make it clear that there is nothing personal, just maintaining order among the ranks.

It must not be habitual otherwise bottled anger, feeling of being trapped and resentment will arise. It must not degenerate into a drawn out cat fight otherwise the woman might be left with some doubts that maybe next time she might win.

If a man goes this route, he must also allow the woman's temper to subside, perhaps get a place to crash that night, otherwise he might wake up and find his transformer missing.

^^ words of my now deceased grandfather.

Those were exact words of my grandfather and my uncle. They thought me a lot that I look back now and see my good grown family, and I say, alhamdullillah!

Those who are not yet married are still in dream land.

This is what I told them here in my post #117 in 2013.

I rarely agree with you @doti but for this, 100% i do. Practically done it and now reaping the fruitssmile

But it has to be methodically done

Exactly @Ngogoyo. It has to be implemented methodically. No abuse should be used. But authority should be established. And then love her like crazy, treat her special, listen to her, take her opinions into account while making decisions... But when she crosses the line, be firm and say "no, you cannot accept this!" and leave it there. Do not argue with your wife, she will win the argument and give her false sense of victory, which will undermine good family structure... When you do it right, everyone will be happy, the wife will be happy, the kids will be happy, your parents will respect you including the in-laws...
Tara
#63 Posted : Tuesday, August 02, 2016 8:58:57 PM
Rank: New-farer


Joined: 12/18/2012
Posts: 94
AlphDoti wrote:
It has to be implemented methodically. No abuse should be used. But authority should be established. And then love her like crazy, treat her special, listen to her, take her opinions into account while making decisions... But when she crosses the line, be firm and say "no, you cannot accept this!" and leave it there. Do not argue with your wife, she will win the argument and give her false sense of victory, which will undermine good family structure... When you do it right, everyone will be happy, the wife will be happy, the kids will be happy, your parents will respect you including the in-laws...



Redpill/Bluepill philosophy?
Anti_Burglar
#64 Posted : Wednesday, August 03, 2016 10:32:09 AM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 9/11/2015
Posts: 1,024
AlphDoti wrote:

Exactly @Ngogoyo. It has to be implemented methodically. No abuse should be used. But authority should be established. And then love her like crazy, treat her special, listen to her, take her opinions into account while making decisions... But when she crosses the line, be firm and say "no, you cannot accept this!" and leave it there. Do not argue with your wife, she will win the argument and give her false sense of victory, which will undermine good family structure... When you do it right, everyone will be happy, the wife will be happy, the kids will be happy, your parents will respect you including the in-laws...



Ohhhhh, this is a hadithi, right?
AlphDoti
#65 Posted : Wednesday, August 03, 2016 11:38:43 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,275
Location: Kenya
Anti_Burglar wrote:
AlphDoti wrote:

Exactly @Ngogoyo. It has to be implemented methodically. No abuse should be used. But authority should be established. And then love her like crazy, treat her special, listen to her, take her opinions into account while making decisions... But when she crosses the line, be firm and say "no, you cannot accept this!" and leave it there. Do not argue with your wife, she will win the argument and give her false sense of victory, which will undermine good family structure... When you do it right, everyone will be happy, the wife will be happy, the kids will be happy, your parents will respect you including the in-laws...

Ohhhhh, this is a hadithi, right?

Wisdom from my grandfather...
AlphDoti
#66 Posted : Wednesday, August 03, 2016 11:55:41 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,275
Location: Kenya
Tara wrote:
AlphDoti wrote:
It has to be implemented methodically. No abuse should be used. But authority should be established. And then love her like crazy, treat her special, listen to her, take her opinions into account while making decisions... But when she crosses the line, be firm and say "no, you cannot accept this!" and leave it there. Do not argue with your wife, she will win the argument and give her false sense of victory, which will undermine good family structure... When you do it right, everyone will be happy, the wife will be happy, the kids will be happy, your parents will respect you including the in-laws...

Redpill/Bluepill philosophy?

This is the real world @tara. Not the science that you've watched on TV...
Tara
#67 Posted : Wednesday, August 03, 2016 11:16:27 PM
Rank: New-farer


Joined: 12/18/2012
Posts: 94
AlphDoti wrote:
Tara wrote:
AlphDoti wrote:
It has to be implemented methodically. No abuse should be used. But authority should be established. And then love her like crazy, treat her special, listen to her, take her opinions into account while making decisions... But when she crosses the line, be firm and say "no, you cannot accept this!" and leave it there. Do not argue with your wife, she will win the argument and give her false sense of victory, which will undermine good family structure... When you do it right, everyone will be happy, the wife will be happy, the kids will be happy, your parents will respect you including the in-laws...

Redpill/Bluepill philosophy?

This is the real world @tara. Not the science that you've watched on TV...


Google it. There are some men out there who are following said philosophy to establish dominance and authority over their wives/girlfriends. I find it amusing.
Shak
#68 Posted : Wednesday, February 22, 2017 8:57:49 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/22/2009
Posts: 2,449
Location: Africa
Angelica _ann wrote:
There is a fool who has cut the wife's hands because she cannot give birth while tests have shown he is the one with a problem!!!

The lady has confessed to having had an affair and is now heavily pregnant. Still it doesn't justify the brutality meted on her
mkenyan
#69 Posted : Wednesday, February 22, 2017 9:42:23 AM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 4/1/2009
Posts: 1,883
Shak wrote:
Angelica _ann wrote:
There is a fool who has cut the wife's hands because she cannot give birth while tests have shown he is the one with a problem!!!

The lady has confessed to having had an affair and is now heavily pregnant. Still it doesn't justify the brutality meted on her

we only heard the lady's side of the story. and there were stories abound of the guy's innocence. and isn't the court still dealing with the matter with no conviction yet?
twesha13
#70 Posted : Wednesday, February 22, 2017 10:42:58 AM
Rank: New-farer


Joined: 10/30/2016
Posts: 39
Location: nairobi
Shak wrote:
Angelica _ann wrote:
There is a fool who has cut the wife's hands because she cannot give birth while tests have shown he is the one with a problem!!!

The lady has confessed to having had an affair and is now heavily pregnant. Still it doesn't justify the brutality meted on her

good for herApplause
where a woman rules, rivers run uphill!
sparkly
#71 Posted : Wednesday, February 22, 2017 2:21:37 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 9/23/2009
Posts: 8,083
Location: Enk are Nyirobi
twesha13 wrote:
Shak wrote:
Angelica _ann wrote:
There is a fool who has cut the wife's hands because she cannot give birth while tests have shown he is the one with a problem!!!

The lady has confessed to having had an affair and is now heavily pregnant. Still it doesn't justify the brutality meted on her

good for herApplause


Lady started as an adulterer, turned into a victim, but is now a beneficiary of NGO's largesse and another man's seed.
Life is short. Live passionately.
twesha13
#72 Posted : Wednesday, February 22, 2017 4:15:35 PM
Rank: New-farer


Joined: 10/30/2016
Posts: 39
Location: nairobi
sparkly wrote:
twesha13 wrote:
Shak wrote:
Angelica _ann wrote:
There is a fool who has cut the wife's hands because she cannot give birth while tests have shown he is the one with a problem!!!

The lady has confessed to having had an affair and is now heavily pregnant. Still it doesn't justify the brutality meted on her

good for herApplause


Lady started as an adulterer, turned into a victim, but is now a beneficiary of NGO's largesse and another man's seed.

Applause good! now analyse her husband
where a woman rules, rivers run uphill!
murchr
#73 Posted : Monday, September 30, 2019 10:31:40 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/26/2012
Posts: 15,980
NOT ABOUT K24 but

Nation wrote:
A woman who was earlier this year stabbed 17 times by her husband in a domestic quarrel in Karatina, Nyeri County, has withdrawn assault charges against him saying she has forgiven him.

Ms Peninah Wangechi was admitted at the Karatina Sub County Hospital on April 9 after the knife attack by her husband Mr Samuel Ndirangu.


Surely, this man should not walk
"There are only two emotions in the market, hope & fear. The problem is you hope when you should fear & fear when you should hope: - Jesse Livermore
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