Seems like I am the only one who doesn't eat fish nyama kwa nyama. I think that I should abandon hii maneno ya kukula peremende kwa karatasi yake.

Am a little surprised that a lot of men here are OK with extra marital affairs. I am a guy and I live with my beautiful fiance. I would never ever step out on her no matter how tempted I might get. It's just not right. If you want to sleep around then don't get married and if you are married and want to have mpangos, then just separate from or divorce your wife.

I saw somebody write here that men are weak for succulent things. Well, not all of us men are that weak, some of us have self control. Listen guys, you don't have to sleep around to feel like a man, have some self esteem and integrity, love your woman and don't hurt her for the sake of your personal satisfaction.

We all have feelings but unlike wild animals, we can control our feelings.

What this Ruto guy did is wrong. It's especially even more disgusting because the guy pretends to be so religious and god fearing yet he is consciously going against the very same commandments that he should be living by. And you people wonder why I have a problem with religion and religious people.

How does he sleep with some college girl on a Saturday night and then go home and slip into bed, have sex with his wife, then get up and go to church on Sunday morning with his "family" knowing fully well how reprehensibly hypocritical what he just did is?

Then after siring the child the douchebag starts acting all shady changing phone numbers and throwing tantrums about the issue on twitter instead of manning up and taking care of his responsibilities with no such drama.

Does he realize what this public spat is doing to this child's feelings? The kid can read what his "father" is tweeting about his mum and it's not nice. He shouldn't put his affairs with this woman on blast for everybody to read, this should be a personal matter, there are kids involved.

He doesn't have to get along with the mother of the child but he needs to be there for the child especially since he is a man of ill-gotten means.

Guys, let's stop saying that men can not be with only one woman, I think that's a cop out and an excuse to f*** around without feeling guilty about it. We can and we should. We need to be stronger than that. Love your woman and if you can't then don't marry her. Ni hayo tu.

Atheist pope you mean?

Relationships are not all about sex. It's important but it's not the only thing.

And besides, if for some reason we find out that we are not compatible along the way, then we just agree to go our separate ways.

How can you say that am having an extramarital when am only with one woman?

I am married. Am living with my fiance who is my wife as far as we are concerned. Signing a piece of paper in church won't change anything. We live together as husband and wife and we have no desire of going to church to do a wedding. We can afford a wedding but we don't want to do one for reasons that I highlighted on a thread that I started a few months back here on wazua. Have a wedding for what? Will signing a marriage certificate suddenly make things in our relationship different? She is my fiance/wife/spouse/partner. Take your pick. Those are all just titles my friend they don't change a thing.

The one thing that I will never do is cheat on her. Whether she is your wife or plaything as you have so disrespectfully described her is secondary, be a man and go home to your wife every night and keep your dick in your pants when you are out there. It's really that simple.

I am not religious so your adultery claims don't apply to me. We have been living happily together for three years and even though we've had our ups and downs like any other couple out there, I would never ever cheat on her. Marriage is not easy but I will break up with her before I cheat.

Let's not look for reasons to excuse our philandering ways. Have some self control. These same guys supporting polygamy would literally kill someone if their wives had a mpango wa kando. Why the double standards?

Live your lives with some integrity man, control your feelings, as men we all have those intense feelings to cheat, me included but dig deep down and summon all your self restraint when you fall into a compromising situation. Respect your woman, wife, plaything or whatever else you want to call her.

It's hard for me to be accommodative and respecful to any married person that can't keep it in his or her pants.

It's their life and they are free to live it any way they please, and I understand that, but I personally wouldn't respect that person very much more so if they purport to be the religious holier than thou type.

But that's just me, maybe I value decency and fidelity in the institution of marriage more than most people do.

But I get your drift, live and let live, it's a free world so to each their own.

It's not a higher moral ground if someone's actions end up hurting somebody who loves them. Cheating is not a victimless incidence.

Is that a serious question?

Boss, even people with extramarital affairs have one woman at a time, the only difference is the duration. You'll never find a perfect woman and no woman finds a perfect man so just decide and marry her. And it's not true that you'll just go your separate way, she might be too deep in the relationship, for her to move in is an overcommitment on her side while you are probably on the surface all along meaning it might not hurt you as much.... Anyway, and I'm not giving you advise, be careful with a 'come-we-stay relationship, most of the times it ends up in hurt for both.

There's a book by Yuval Harari 'Homo deus' and in it this question is of extra marital affairs in an atheistic/humanistic context is explored. The author thinks its one of the main ethical issues of the times.

Atheistic ethic and morality is premised on, 'If it does no harm to others, then it's ethical'. But how can we avoid to hurt others when our minds, understanding and interests are so diverse?