Bishop, welcome to the devil’s theatre of operations.
Normally, I would have started this post with a “good afternoon” but I would be expressing a false sentiment.
Your mission, should you accept it, will be to fight the corruption Ogre-Demon that squats on this our Inchi Ya Kitu Kidogo Na Majabazi.
With the boys from Opus Dei and Seventh Day Adventists, you will be in good company.
The man from Opus Dei is fast discovering how foetid Central Bank is. He is receiving as much as he doles out to the fetid bureaucrats who infest the hallowed hallways and who prostitute themselves to the demons running our financial institutions and their respective Attorneys.
The Seventh Day Adventist is currently finding his footing among the festering labyrinths that are our mildewed court systems.
The deified world of the Kenian Anglican Church had better have prepared you to face the Ogre that is the Kenian version of corruption. Not even Ole Obama could have beaten it in his eight years at the Oval Office.
The US Federal Aviation Agency will not allow direct flights between DC and Nairoberry. It is that bad.
Do you think you will do any better?
This Ogre belts out velvety tunes accompanied by amatory moves that would turn Judith Nyambura Avril and Sauti Sol dark purple with envy.
Will you stop to listen and gawp in admiration?
It has such an ample posterior and alluring bosom that Huddah Monroe and Vera Sidika would willingly spend seven days with the boys at the Kamiti Maximum Prison to acquire.
Will this allure you into thinking with your smaller head?
It is so educated and learned that Peter Anyang Nyong'o and Githu Muigai are contemplating going back to school to compete with it.
Can you beat that?
It owns acres and acres of land and you will be standing in its way as it aspires to reach and overreach Johnston Kamau Muigai and his extended family in land ownership.
Would you look the other way for a pristine prime beachfront?
Look at the Nairobi Game Reserve.
The Machizi Express is about to take over from the Lunatic Express. A portion of the Game Reserve will be doled out to a Special Purpose Vehicle for the Machizi Express to pass through.
Once this is successful, another piece will be doled out for the oil pipeline, then another for the water pipeline then another for the UhuRuto Super Highway.
These SPVs will then sell their land pieces to private developers circa the Karura Forest.
By the time the UhuRuto Error comes to an end in 2027 (2017?), The Nairobi Game Reserve will have ceased to exist.
Are you prepared to fight your appointing authority?
This is but a tiny glimpse of the Ogre Demon you will be facing. There is still time to say no.
Please say no, otherwise, welcome to perdition. As the song says, “You can check in any time, but you cannot check out.” Ask your predecessors.
This message will destruct itself when Madam Administrator deems it necessary.